Advertisement
Published: April 16th 2009
My eleven days off were truly amazing, as well as necessary. The last two weeks before vacation were a struggle for me. My students were giving me pretty hard time and I was just very burnt out, which is never a good mix.
Pretty much everyone left for exotic locals, except for me of course. It was weird being around the house without Katie, Leigh Anne or Annie. Considering we spend all of our time together, it was a strange break from them. I didn't sit around and mope or anything like that, not to worry. I spent my time very wisely. I lounged, relaxed, vegged. Any and all words for relax, is exactly what I did. I spent quite a bit of time with Doniel. In fact, everyday but one. Pretty impressive for someone like me, who is in constant need of boundaries and space when it comes to men. Even more impressive, I wasn't the slightest bit annoyed with him at all.
We spent a day up in the mountains, a place called La Volcan. It was the second time that I believed I was going somewhere to relax, when in fact, I was hiking...in flip flops.
The trek was only about twenty minutes or so, but around the ten minute mark I started to get freaked out. I realized that I was in flip flops, in the mountains, walking through all kinds of leaves, trees and water. I started to see leaves moving, when I know that they weren't. I just kept thinking to myself, if a Scorpion stings me, who will carry me back down the mountain to the car? Luckily though, that never happened. I didn't even see a Scorpion, it was all in my head. Thankfully.
We ended up in some secluded area where they had made a pool from the river water. They had made a damn and the water that flows down the mountain was contained quite nicely, if you can believe, in some sort of concrete pool. At first glimpse, I knew there was absolutely no way I was getting in. But, as the afternoon wore on, it got hotter. The hotter it got, the better the pool looked to me.
I did eventually get in and swim. I even went under the water, which made me quite proud of myself. It wasn't until about half an hour
after I got out that we realized there were these massive Cockroach, June Bug looking creatures in the water with us. So needless to say, that was the end of my swimming adventure.
I was excited to be staying in Comayagua for Semana Santa because I was really looking forward to seeing the Carpets. They were exactly what I had pictured, but better somehow. It amazes me that they stay up working from midnight, all through to the morning. They were beautiful. This city didn't even feel like the same city at all. There were people everywhere, there was music playing, the park was packed and everyone looked so happy. Plus, I haven't seen that many tourists here, ever.
The parade was odd though. I don't understand the meaning behind the costumes that they were wearing. Besides of course, the meaning I know it to hold in most other places. I asked Brian, a Honduran, that was with us. He said that he had never seen them wear those costumes here before either. The five of us were standing there watching the parade go by and then one of them came right up into my face and asked
us to move. Nobody did. Everyone was completely frozen in their spot, staring at their beady little eyes inside the hoods. It was scary, even though I knew it was a parade and nothing was going to happen. The negative connotation resides, deeply seeded in all of our minds.
All in all, it was a great break from school. I did quite a bit, more than I can write here without boring everyone. But, it was so nice to have everyone back home. We are missing one person now though. Anthony has left and gone back to Paris. Not that I blame him some days. I can imagine it's hard not only being away from Paris, but from anyone who speaks your language. I am lucky, I have several other people that I can speak English with anytime I want. He didn't have that luxury. We all miss him already though.
Yesterday was my first day back at school. The kids were so happy to see them, as was I. I had missed my crazy, wild students. One of students gave me the most beautiful flowers too. It was so sweet. Sweet didn't last too long though. I
don't blame them at all, really. The classroom is an oven. There is no getting away from the heat. Within minutes of being in class, you are melting. I feel disgusting when the day is over and I run home and immediately get into my ghetto A/C. I take a cold shower and then lay naked in front of the fan. It feels exactly like having the real thing, even for just a few minutes.
The last two nights I haven't been able to sleep at all. In total, I have slept 3 hours in two days. I don't know if it is because I am sick, or if it is just stress. I never sleep well under pressure, but I have an even harder time sleeping when I know I have hard decisions to make.
This decision seems to have so many different ways of ending up. I could stay here in Comayagua, but do I stay in the same grade? Or, what to do about the Doniel situation. I never meant for it to happen, but I do care about him. I know that he never intended on staying in Honduras again, for a third year.
But now he is looking for other positions in Honduras, just not Comayagua. Then there's the recent issues. Maybe they aren't quite so recent, just issues that seem to be getting more frequent.
Last night, while I was in my room, Katie left to go to the Pulp a couple houses down. Now, I wasn't there so I can only write what she had told me. She saw approximately 30 young males, a gang, walking down the street with machetes. While she was standing there, trying to figure out where the Pulp lady was, she heard everyone screaming and starting to run. As you can imagine, she was terrified. Terrifed wad the word she used, which is a word she never uses here. She has been here for almost two years and said that this was the scariest thing that has ever happened to her.
She came to find out the reaosn the Pulp lady wasn't at the store front was because she on the other side of the store with a machete being held up to her neck. The Pulp lady told Katie later that this gang is the most dangerous gang in the city. Hence, the
running and screaming form the locals. I have no idea what I would have done if I were here, standing a few houses down form my own house, knowing that there wasn't enough time to get home.
This is not the only recent event, there have been more. I know that the economy here has taken a serious hit. The minimum wage was raised 70 percent. No stable economy could ever handle a 70 percent increase like that. All it has managed to do is create more unemployment, now that no company can afford to pay their employees. It has managed to create even more poverty, in an area that can't handle any more.
When I first got here, the increase had just taken affect. But as time has gone on, the tension has increased. As have these occurrences. I know that we as teachers, are a target. Everyone knows where we live, what time we leave and when we get back. They have taken away any kind of security we had before. We have been left to fend for ourselves in a neighbourhood that isn't very safe. It may have been safe before, but with the rising
tension between gangs and the poverty in the area, no place is safe in Comayagua.
I spoke to my Mom today about the situation. She is always the first person to tell me not to worry and to live my life the way I want to live it. Today she told me that it was time to come home. It saddens me because I truly love Honduras, the people, this city. Everything. But, when it comes to my own life, it can't compare.
Sometimes in life, there are battles that cannot be won. I feel like no matter what, things here will get worse before they get better. I don't want to be standing in the crossfires of the next shooting, down the street from my school. I don't want to be attacked by gang members in front of my own house. I will stay until the end of the school year. But when it comes to next year, I guess I won't be here.
I wish it didn't have to be this way at all. But the truth of the matter is, it is this way right now. Sometimes, you just have know when to call
it quits and as of the beginning of June, I quit.
Advertisement
Tot: 0.128s; Tpl: 0.014s; cc: 9; qc: 59; dbt: 0.093s; 1; m:domysql w:travelblog (10.17.0.13); sld: 1;
; mem: 1.2mb
swills82
Sarah Willett
Tough Decisions...
I remember it well. Now you'll be leaving as I am arriving. And to think, I'll be in a city more dangerous than Comayagua! Good luck with the rest of your year. It's not over yet. Just enjoy what time you have left and take nothing for granted. Wait 'til your home and you can flush your tp again and drink from the tap! You'll miss it. I promise.