"Oh, My God, It's JACKIE CHAN!!"

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And unlike Homer Simpson, I'd be right!

Last Friday, the Shenzhen Education Bureau loaded up 12 buses of foreign teachers (and a few Chinese people) and sent us on our way to Guangzhou for the "International Tourism and Culture Festival, PPRD Tourism Promotion Convention Eveming Party of Opening Ceremony."
For 3 hours we rode on a bus with no bathroom, the AC blasting while the sun was too bright to keep the curtains open.
As we were almost there, our lovely tour guide proceeded to tell us that Jackie would NOT be performing (he sings) but would be at an after party that we weren't invited to, "I hope you are not too disappointed." Yeah, no, really, why would I possibly look forward to seeing Jackie Chan.
Then we (yes, all of us) ate a spectacular dinner, complete with egg custard tarts (we liked them so much at our table we paid to get more), tons of meat, curried shrimp, fried rice, and various greens. Unfortunately, the tea tasted a little like camp water. I still drank it, though, since I was thirsty afte 3 hours of nothing to drink.

We proceeded on to the stadium for the ceremony, following the sign with our number on it. I've seen tour groups in China before. Usually they are led by a really short lady (check), carrying a sign (check), wearing a stupid hat (check--they were orange with the longest white brims you've ever seen), a sign around her neck (check), a walkie-talkie (check), and a megaphone (damn--No check).

We filed in, up and up and up many many many stairs. We unfolded newspapers in our gift bags (yup, we all got gift bags) to sit on since the seats were filthy. In our gift bags we also got light up rainbow colored swords, those inflatable balloons that you can clap with (which we were all addicted to by the end of the night) and way too much paper. Which throughout the night would entertain the crowd by provideing plenty of paper airplanes--a few of which did make it all the way down to the stage area. I joked that people would remember the airplanes but not the performances.

Throughout the performances we kept joking, "Oh, look, it's Jackie Chan!" because we were secretly hoping he'd show up. One friend even was thinking about how he would try to find this party aftrwards (some people were staying the night and weekend, while others of us were returning home that night).

We saw some pretty good acts. There were floats for major cities in the region, there were LOTS of fireworks (think grande finales in the US, but every other song), people spinning in metal wheels, a long "dragon" that was the length of the stage, dancing cakes, fire twirlers, people dressed as Hamburger Helper hands dancing. Every performance had a minimum of 100 people in it. My descriptions will not do this justice. It was amazing. It was like a mini Olympic ceremony. Never underestimate what a large number of organized people can do.

There were 3 "Chapters" total, making the performance looooong. (it was outside and we were all cold) The performers, none of whom I know, are the equivilant of Chinese Britney Spears (when people liked her), an amazing opera singer, and a Chinese rap star. Sufficed to say, every Chinese person in the audience knew them all.
We did get to see such acts as Zhang JingXuan, Chen Xiao Dong (from Hong Kong), Want Xin Ling (from Taiwan), Xu Ruo Xuan (also Taiwan), Ling Jun, and ..... arriving on an 'airplane' ...just as we'd given up hope....
JACKIE CHAN!!!!!!!!
He sang a song titled, "We are Ready," which I still have stuck in my head.
The last performer, the one after Jackie Chan that none of us noticed, was Song Zu Ying, who apparently performed at the Olympic Opening Ceremony. But really, who planned the order? You could have put Madonna up there and I don't think any of the Americans would have noticed. All we could say was, "I saw Jackie Chan!" over and over again.

After all of that we were frozen. We piled onto our buses for the 3 hour journey home in the night. It was about 9 degrees celcius and I wasn't dressed for it. Well, I would have been if the bus had had heat. It had airconditioning. Just like my dad's car in 1970.

So, as a result, I have a lovely cold. Luckily, I have 3 things that make it better:
1. a space heater that takes the chill off
2. Fabulous students who think I should rest and therefore behave
3. Dayquil.

So I will write about the rest of my week later. Maybe.


Did I mention I saw Jackie Chan??

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Comments

[Dad]

Hey, Kris. Did you see Jackie Chan? BTW: my 1970 car was a 1962 VW bug which had windows down AC in the summer and heat that probably warmed up the car about 5 degrees in the winter over the outdoor temp. I courted my future wife (Kris's mom) in Minnesota in the winter, and I knew she loved me when she rode in my VW night after night without complaining. :)