getting my act together, horse-back riding, and why i can't say no.

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I woke up the next morning trying to figure out what I wanted to do. I didn't get my act together the night before to sign up for any tours or to try and figure out if I wanted to rent a car. That morning, I decided to do the tours instead of getting a car. The receptionist was very nice, and we spoke Spanish as I was trying to figure things out. So I extended my day in Salta for three more nights, and decided see as much of Salta as I could. Considering that I did that with Mendoza, I wanted to see Salta... and I'm only in Argentina once, so I figure, why not? As I finally figured out what I wanted to do in Salta, I headed to the bus station to buy my bus ticket. I was leaving Salta Monday afternoon on a bus to Iguazu. Then, I would have to buy my bus from Iguazu to Buenos Aires before I fly home... I can't believe this adventure is nearly over. I seriously don't want to leave. I wish I could just continue to travel and wander around and see the world. But I know I should be back... which is one thing I learned during my time here. I'll go back for a little bit... and I'm sure I'll be off again... and probably then it'll be for good, but that's still in the works.

I went and got some lunch and spoke in Spanish to the lady. She was really nice and glad that I spoke Spanish and was trying. We had a great conversation about Salta and where I was from. I realized that I have a great advantage being able to speak basic Spanish, compared to those who couldn't speak it at all. I was able to have conversations with people from the area and really learn about what it is like here. It's more of an education than just seeing things.

When I got back to my hostel, I decided to go horse back riding in San Lorenzo. The remise left without me because the other two people who were going didn't know I was going as well! The receptionist lied to me and told me that the remise broke down. Good thing about knowing Spanish: you can actually understand what people are saying and when they are scamming you without them realizing that you understand what they are saying. Luckily, the remise came and I went horse back riding. All I could think was, "This place would be AMAZING in the summer." As beautiful as Argentina is now, I can't even imagine how much more beautiful it's going to be in the summer. The two people I was with were from John Hopkins, and they were really nice. The guide spoke Spanish to us, and I ended up speaking Spanish to him, which was really helpful. The landscape is simply breathtaking in Salta. I must say I have never seen anything quite like it.

When I got back, I continued to hang out with the two people I had met from John Hopkins. All I was craving was food and an ice cream. For convenience, we decided to stay at the hostel for their pizza night. I continued to meet people at the hostel. I became the napkin lady and ran back and forth to grab napkins for people as the cheese was oozing off the pizza. I swear, I can't escape the taking care of people mentality that I have.

Then I ran into Jill. Jill is writing an article about backpackers, and she really wanted to interview me considering that 1) I am a girl traveling by myself and 2) i am from the states, and it's rare to see people traveling alone, or traveling at all from the states. She went through the list of questions and it got to the question about what I've learned here or why I was traveling alone and what it has brought to me.

I told her that I had learned more about myself in the past three weeks and learned to appreciate myself. I learned that I am actually pretty cool and it's not so hard to meet people. Kendra had told me, "Just open your mouth and people will love you. And if they don't then they are not worth your time." I had told her this and Jill seriously started laughing. She said, "YOU thought you weren't going to meet people?" I dunno why I find it so hard to generally meet people. I remembered back to two birthday parties that I went to before I left for Argentina. Both of them, I knew hardly anyone. Both of them, I was pretty quiet. It's kinda like the whole entire thing I talked about with Spanish-- It's in me. I just need to let it out.

Jill and I continued to talk, and we talked, again, about why I came to Argentina. I gave her the super long version. And she was like, "You just have to grow up, don't you when something like that happens?" She understood because she also lost someone close to her. We talked about things in life that make me sad, like marriage and weddings. Everytime I watch a wedding show, I start to crumble because there are two important people in my life who I thought would have been there, who won't be. It's hard to imagine a wedding without them (if I do end up deciding to get married). I had told her this and a part of me wants to never get married for this reason... or get married in a court room. We both talked about how it's going to be hard to see a wedding without the important people in our lives... but I continue to remember the important people that I do have in my life.

The interview went on for hours, and we talked... and Jill convinced me to go out, reluctantly... considering that I had a tour at 7:30 am. However, we did go out. Jill told me one thing the whole night, "Give yourself some credit. You don't give yourself enough credit. That's the biggest thing I learned about you during the interview."

Maybe I don't. But like I said, I'm working on it.

So here's where I realized I can't say no. Gina was the one who told me that I need to say no and need to say yes. Say no to people. You can't do everything for everyone. It ends up sacrficing your time. I just say yes to all of my friends all of the time... regardless of what it is. It's something that Pam, one of my coworkers told me during our appreciation circle, "No matter what, it wasn't a problem, you were just there." It's truly the one thing that I do love about me (it used to be the only thing... but now I'm loving me more). Say Yes to things that you normally don't say Yes to (again, I am working on it... but this is much harder).
So why can't I say no? Deep down inside, I would go to the ends of earth for you if you just asked. And I really value that about me. Need money? not a problem. need time? Not a problem. Need a kidney? Not a problem. Because ultimately we are all on this earth to help each other out and to learn. And why say no if you can help someone out? I remember Pammy telling me that I was always there to save her life. One night that I remember clearly when I was watching a movie with two friends and left to go rescue her. When I returned my two friends said, "why?" i simply said "why not? she needed me." But you know, favors will get returned, and I know that when I need something, people will be there for me-- like when Jeff and I were stranded and his car ran out of gas. Pammy came and bailed me out. We're here for each other. That's what having relationships with people are all about.

That evening, when we were out, Jill's bag got stolen. It was really really heartbreaking. I stayed up with her and tried and figured things out, including the two guys we were with that night (who had a bus to catch really early... and still tried to help her, which I thought was the most incredible sign of friendship I had seen).

I told Jill that we could go find a locutorio. I'd lend her money to get by. Whatever. I didn't need to sleep. I'd help her when I got back from my tour or try to postpone it. She said something to me that really made me realize the power of friendships and how lucky I am to have my friends. She said that none of her friends back home would be doing this for her. Why a stranger who she had just met a few days ago? I was immediately reminded of the night my mom passed away and how incredibly LUCKY I was to have the Chez Echo contingency with me. How I probably wouldn't have made it through the night without them as we searched for cake at every store and watched The Holiday (even though I'm sure Joe and Pete didn't want to). Or how they figured out how I was going to get to Long Beach. I am SO fortunate for so many things in my life.

Maybe I'm a little too trusting of people... which I found out last night. But then people are trustworthy. And good deeds will be good deeds, regardless of whether or not someone scams you. She urged me to go to bed, even though I didn't want to (even though I needed to) and told me she was fine. Because they are just things. She had her camera, and that's all that mattered. Because at the end of the day, all of those things are replaceable.

What isn't? The people you love. The memories you have. And the things along the way that make you who you are.

And that is why I only got 15 minutes of sleep that night-- which completely annoyed my roommate because I came in, crawled into bed, and then crawled back out 15 minutes later.

The best part? The receptionist asked me in Spanish what had happend to Jill. In my sleep-driven probably hungover and drunk at the same time, I explained to him IN SPANISH what had happened. The result? He actually spoke English. I told him I felt so stupid for trying to speak to him in Spanish.

His response? Your spanish is good!

Moral of the story? Give yourself some credit girl. Have some confidence. Thanks Jill.

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Comments

[backpackless]

wow
i am in tears