Everything in brief for our lazy friends

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Corbett's writing has actually got to the point where its far too long for me to even bother checking it over, so I thought I'd do a briefer version for those of you that can't be arsed to plough through mountains of text so that you at least have some idea of what we did when we go on and on at you for hours upon our return! For those of you that do bother to read through every last painstaking detail of our adventure (Mum, Penny and Eric), this will probably all be stuff you've heard before.

Valpariso
Sat around drinking in our hostel and at the beach with a load of people from our hostel most of the time. Went up a few asensores and Corbett nearly fell asleep in a club. Town was very pretty, with winding streets and lost of nice looking graffiti.

Mendoza
Went on a wine tour, tasted a lot of wine, bikes broke down a lot. Cooked a Sunday roast with some Brits, biked around the park and went to a massive zoo. Most nights were spent in our second hostel drinking and playing cards with a Canadian bloke called Roy and various others who came and went throughout or time there. Tried to go out, but all the good clubs only let in over 23s for some bizarre reason.

Buenos Aires
Stayed at a crap hostel first, moved to a better one. Went to a Brazilian dance festival/club type thing (we can't dance so we made twats of ourselves repeatedly). Saw a percussion band which was really good, Corbett lost his phone. A bat got into our room but Corbett killed it with a broom. Made lots of friends and omelettes. Had to get out before the nightlife killed us.

Iguazu
18 hour bus ride with a German girl and 3 Israelis from our hostel, but it was ok cause we got a glass of whiskey and champagne included (+ the Israeli girls charmed them into leaving the bottle!). Hostel was lush (former luxury casino), mahosive swimming pool, pool tables etc. There was a strike on so there was a road block just outside our hostel and the workers at the falls were on strike so we couldn't do the boat tour. Saw the Argentinian side one day, then the Brazilian side the next. Both were very pretty, but the Brazilian side was very expensive and we had a tropical storm which was quite cool.

Salta
Met two British blokes (Chris and Simon) on the bus and decided to change our route to go via Salta instead of La Quiaca. Got stuck there for a few days so we played a lot of pool and went bungee jumping. Met a Scottish couple (Graham and Mel) who ended up traveling with us for a few weeks along with Chris. Little did we know it but there was also 4 British girls from Warwick at our hostel, who we later befriended in Rurrenabaque.

San Pedro de Atacama
Ate a lot of omellettes, hostel owner was evil and tried to rip us out of an extra 16000 pesos (about 16 quid). Found another travel companion called Andy. Biked to the death valley for sandboarding (which was a bit shite). I got a flat tire and found a hat. Had a local band play to us in a pub with a fire right in the middle of the floor.

Salt flats / desert
Got driven around in a jeep for 3 days. Saw geysers, interesting rocks, lagoons, flamingos, hot springs and lots of salt (including a salt hotel). Hostels were cold and our driver seemed to be in a bit too much of a hurry. Got a bit of altitude sickness but that was mostly gone after the 1st night. Saw the train graveyard at the end which was quite cool too.

Uyuni
Went to the "Extreme fun bar", promising "extreme drinks and glasses". It was extreme.

Potosi
We ate llama meat and did a tour of the mines after buying loads of dynamite, some of which we gave to the miners, the rest we just blew up afterwards.

Sucre
Everyone got ill so we didn't do a lot. Watched Rocky VI. Went out with this canadian bird called Celeste one night and got mugged. In a vague attempt to get something done while we were there, and to help Corbett get over his fear of horses, we went on a horseback tour which was crap.

La Paz La Paz
Flight delayed by two days due to rain so we went to an Irish hostel, drank pints of PG Tips and got drunk and dressed up in orange. Recorded our soon to be number 1 hit "The Gringo Song" (©) with another canadian girl called Shira who turned out to know Celeste (Canada must be quite a small place).

The mighty jungle
Flew to Rurrenabaque on a tiny plane, stayed at a nice hostel. Set off with 4 British girls + Chris into the Jungle. Saw crocs, aligators, lots of birds, howler monkeys, little monkeys, pink dolphins etc. Caught and held anacondas and cobras, swam with pink dolphins, went pirhana fishing and played with hamocks. Got back to Rurrenabaque and went out drinking.

La Paz La Paz 2
Biked down the worlds most dangerous road, gringofied ourselves (i bought a poncho - you can't be unhappy in a poncho), went out a lot, drank more PG tips.

Copacabana
Visited the 'Isla del sol' - very pretty beaches but the treck was a bit boring and pedros kept popping up trying to scam us into paying them to use the path or to see rocks. Long cold boat ride to get there and back. Sang 'Copacabana' by Barry Manilow and ate trout.

Puno and the floaters
Ate guinea pig, mine was really skinny and crap, virtually no meat on it and very expensive. Corbetts was better but still a bit shit and ridiculously overpriced. Went on a tour of floating islands (made of straw-like stuff and literally floating in the middle of the lake). Rowed a boat between islands and paid an old peruvian man to let us take photos of us with him. They showed us how the islands are made etc and some history about them.

Cusco
Hung around for a few days, got pestered by restaurant and massage people. Went on a 4 day treck (inc 1 day moutain biking). Got eaten alive by mosquitoes. Climbed up to Machu Picchu, visited the ruins, then continued up to the summit of the mountain (Machu Picchu not Wagna Picchu) at an altitude of 3060m, which was absolutely amazing - possibly the highlight of this holiday. Came back to Cusco, met some friends, went to an internet cafe and started writing this.

Lima
Did we do anything here?? Am adding this later on so can't really remember. Pretty sure there was a the hugest McDonalds I've ever seen there and probably some other stuff. Also a plane and some valium may have been involved at some point cause next thing we know we're in London.

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Comments

[Corbett and Holden]

Late...
If anyone is wondering why they just got an email about a three year late travel update then I honestly can't remember why the last two were never published but I'm just going to go ahead and throw out the idea that it's probably almost definitely 100% Corbett's fault and given that his memory is even worse than mine then I can't see him having any defense against this proposition