a time to pray

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I woke up yesterday morning ready to continue my travels through Switzerland when i read my emails. One of my sorority sisters was brutally murdered over night. It still doesnt seem real. She was 18... just a freshman, found shot in the street just off campus. I firmly believe that unless you are greek or go to a school like Auburn, you are likely to shurg and write this off as another case of bad things happening to good people. If you are greek and go to a school like Auburn then you can understand what a devastating thing this is for me and for my school. Auburn is with out a doubt the safest place I have ever lived. Things like this dont just happen there. I know that bad things can happen anywhere, but at Auburn we are a family and a community and we rally around each other, not have murders.

She was shot not far from where I lived last year. I have friends whole live in the hill where her car was found burned out. I want them to be safe I wanted her to be safe. I would never wish this on anyone let alone of my sisters.

Im mad. Im mad at the person who is respocible, I am mad at myself for not being there, Im mad because Im selfishly backpacking in Europe while my sister died and I cant be there to support my friends and they cant be here to support me. I am alone. There isnt anyone who understands here, or who knew lauren, or how Auburn is, there is no support. Ill i can do is cry myself to sleep, which only reminds me of how alone I really am.

I cry because Im selfish for feeling this way.

I went to church today to pray, for Lauren, for her family, for my Auburn family, for myself. Im angry, i am greiving, I want to believe that God had a higher purpose for all this, but I am losing faith. Faith is something so fickle, espically in times of trial and tribulation.

She was 18... it just doenst seem fair.

I know God doesnt give you anything you arent prepared to deal with, but in the past two years Ive had to burry 7 friends, classmates, and relatives. Im not sure how much more I can take.

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Comments

[Asa]

Wow...
I am sorry to hear of your friend, may god bless her... Asa