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Published: January 13th 2008
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El Bolson and the Alien Mountain
The mountain that calls to all the aliens! Ok, so I have been a bit delinquent in my postings, but I can assure you it has not been without reason,……, and for the most part that reason has been Trout with a capital T. The good news is that I have plenty to write about now.
As you may have gathered we spent the better part of the last month in a small town called El Bolson. Aside from having some great waffles, chicken sandwiches, and a decent beer selection, the town had a few quirks that are definitely worth sharing..
For starters, the first quirk I learned about had to do with the mountain to the east of town. It is supposedly one of the mystical energy centers of the earth and it serves as an interstellar beacon, attracting any nearby alien craft. (I like to think of it as a giant blue light bug zapper for UFOs ….. except with out the zapping part.) SO…… needless to say the hippies in town end up reporting a high number of UFO sightings.
For those of you who know me, and my unfounded phobia of aliens, you can probably imagine that I was a bit un-easy
Evidence
Obviously the aliens landed near by, have 3 toes, and burn the ground they walk on!!!! about this - but I figured that as long as they stay in the sky all would be ok……. Unfortunately, over dinner on New Years Eve I came to find out that this is not the case…..
It was during this festive social gathering that I was informed about the local alien landing sight called “The Table Rock” located in the woods about a two day hike from town. There have been MULTIPLE reports of alien craft touching down in this location. In fact, the sight is such an interstellar parking lot that no plant life can grow in the immediate area surrounding the site. …………. I am definitely going to have to mount another expedition down here to see if we can catch one of the lil´buggers next time they touch down, At least I hope they are little & easy to catch. ……. On second thought, I may have to head out there & set up some electronic sensing equipment, & then spend my time eating chicken sandwiches and fishing while letting technology do the work.
The large round-table discussion over dinner on new years proved to be quite informative on other subjects as well. In
The Gnome Forest
I thought I heard something scurrying around so I started taking pictures......... You never know what you might catch when your camera goes click! addition to the alien landing sight our hosts were kind enough to fill us in on the history and habits of the local gnome population. --- Prior to this dinner I had been aware that there were rumored to be gnomes living in the forest surrounding El Bolson. The couple from Montana had a close encounter with a gnome that they were kind enough to share with us. ……
They had been camping in a camp ground on the opposite side of town from us. One morning, while cooking breakfast, they were summoned by the camp host to the side of their tent. The camp host was overly excited and was pointing at a small collection of chalk-white objects, similar in size and shape to bon bons, and neatly piled next to the stake that held down their rain fly. The camp host explained that this was a rare but not un-heard of event…….. One of the local gnomes had pooped. ----- Dude, talk about an event to behold & a blessing in disguise.
Anyway, like I was saying, over New Years Eve dinner we were discussing the finer points of Gnomage in a beautiful broken english/spanish
conversation. It turns out that there is a rather large Gnome colony living in the forest around El Bolson. The Gnomes are strictly nocturnal. Most of the Gnomes are rather shy but a few are quite bold and are recognized by name by the locals in town. By day they sleep in hidden spaces in the woods amongst the bamboo and ferns. When night falls they all gather in a clearing, begin drinking, smoking marijuana, and blaring loud techno music….. This partying goes on all night, every night, till the sun comes up. On occasion a gnome or small group of gnomes will have too much fun during the night’s festivities and wander into town where they are occasionally discovered passed out in the park or on your lawn ….. Or as in the previous account above they just stop long enough to leave some “evidence” of their trip into town.
In addition to the close encounters of the 3rd kind and the roaming bands of stoned elves with bad sanitary habits, El Bolson is also situated in close proximity to Largo Epuen, a large cold-water lake with a plesiosaur roaming its depths. According to our waitress at el resteraunte Martin Sheffield - a culinary gem named in honor of the discoverer of the towns local Nessy - Martin Sheffield helped put El Bolson on the map with his sighting of the giant prehistoric creature.
Apparently Mr. Sheffield came to Patagonia to look for gold and to try to catch Butch & Sundance for the reward denero. Unfortunately, his efforts as a prospector failed & he ended up befriending Butch and Sundance - so he couldn’t really turn them in. Just when it looked like Martin had struck out in his efforts to gain fame and fortune form his travels around Patagonia he was lucky enough to spot a plesiosaur swimming in the icy waters of Lake Epuen. Realizing that this was a monumental discovery Mr. Sheffield wrote a letter to the head of the national zoo in Buenos Aires urging him to send an expedition down to El Bolson to further study the creature.
The news of this event spread rapidly and folks flooded into the region hoping to be the first to capture the beast. Martin became famous and managed to make a small chunk of change off of the whole deal.
Luckily no one caught the monster, so you can still come down here and see it today!
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Reuben
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Bring me a gnome please
Just read your latest crazy post. It's been fun traveling vicariously through your blog. Makes Angela and I want to travel too! With so many opportunities for souvenirs, you have to bring back something cool, like a gnome or an alien, or Nessy droppings or something. Come to think of it, maybe it was a gnome that ran off with your first couple cameras. Or, maybe an alien, and now they have photographic evidence of what you look like. I'm sure they'll be coming back for you, so keep on your guard!