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Published: November 29th 2007
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I've crossed my share of international borders in my life. I've crossed from the United States into Mexico ten times alone, both by air and by road. In my experience I have found American road borders to be no hassle at all. Then again, before this trip I had never been to Canada.
I actually think it is a little strange that it took 25 years for me to make it to Canada for the first time. I have lived most of my life in states that border Canada - Minnesota and Wisconsin. Aside from a few summers I spent in Arizona during college living with my parents I have never lived more than about 300 miles from Canada, and still I never went. I guess I never really had a reason to go. Now, at the age of 25, I had a trip planned to Seattle, and I this time I took advantage of my proximity to Canada and made the three hour drive from Seattle to Vancouver.
So, this trip really began when I pulled into the line to cross the border from the United States into Canada. It took all of about 2 minutes to make
to the front of the line as I guess not too many people were eager to cross into Canada the day I was there. Anyway, I pulled up to the immigration official at the border and handed her my American passport. This is when the train came off the tracks, so to speak. The following is more or less a transcript of our exchange.
Canadian Border Guard - "Hello"
Me - "Hello"
I hand her my American passport.
Canadian Border Guard - "What state are you from?"
Me - "Wisconsin."
Canadian Border Guard - "Then what are those? Utah license plates?" - Spoken while squinting at a TV monitor in her drive up guard booth.
Me - "I don't know, its a rental car."
Border guard now looks over at an even grumpier looking woman - apparently her supervisor. Supervisor looks back at her. Both look at me.
Canadian Border Guard - "Is the purpose of your visit to Canada business or pleasure?"
Me - "Business I suppose. I am touring a facility that my company owns in Canada this afternoon. After that I am staying overnight to see Vancouver."
Canadian Border Guard - "What
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Me - "Its a factory that makes flavored syrups for coffee shops."
Canadian Border Guard - "What is the name of this factory?"
Me - "I don't think it really has a name. The company is named . Its and Irish company."
Canadian Border Guard - "?"
Me - "That's right,
."
Canadain Border Guard - "What is the address of this factory?"
Me - "I don't know. "
Canadian Border Guard - "Then how do you plan on getting there?"
Me - "I know it is in Delta on the corner of . I wrote down directions."
Canadian Border Guard - "Give them to me."
Me - "What? The directions?"
Canadain Border Guard - "Yes, the directions."
Now I start looking through my bag, I find the directions. I hand the directions to the guard. She doesn't even look at them. She hands them back.
Canadian Border Guard - "What are you going to be doing at this factory?"
Me - "Taking a tour and meeting the people who work there."
Now the border guard glances at the supervisor again. The supervisor glances back.
Canadian Border Guard - "Do you have any firearms in the car?"
Me - "No."
More nervous glances between guard and supervisor. Guard begins to write something on an official looking form. Another glance between guard and supervisor. Guard hands me official looking form containing cryptic message written with Sharpie and my passport.
Canadian Border Guard - "Pull ahead and park you car. Go in the building to the left and ask to speak to an immigration official."
I pull ahead, supervisor follows my car and waits for me to exit once I have parked. I turn to notice every other car crossing the border here seems to be having no hassles whatsoever. Meanwhile, I am going to speak to an immigration official. I walk to the immigration building and enter. An armed official with a badge and without a smile motions for me to come to his podium. I go.
Canadian Border Guard II - "Hello."
Me - "Hello."
I hand him my passport and the official looking form from the original border guard containing the cryptic message. Border guard II studies the form and looks into my eyes.
Canadian Border Guard II - "What is
the purpose of your visit to Canada?"
Me - "I am going to Delta to visit a facility that my company owns. I am going to take a tour and then most likely sit at a table and respond to emails."
Canadian Border Guard II - "What kind of facility is this."
Me - "It is a syrup factory."
Canadian Border Guard II - "What will you be doing specifically?"
Me - "I don't really know, I've never been there before. I think I am going to be given a tour of the production line. Then I'll probably sit at a desk for a few hours."
Canadian Border Guard II - "And how long are you planning on staying?"
Me - "I'm staying in Vancouver tonight and driving back tomorrow morning."
Canadian Border Guard II now begins to study my passport. He looks at every page and all the stamps I have collected. Now, he holds the passport up along side my face. He looks at the passport. He looks at my face. He looks at the passport.
Canadian Border Guard II - "So you are saying this is yourself?"
Me - "What?"
Canadian Border Guard II -
What?
You can only find this nonsense in Canada. "This is yourself?"
Now I am tempted to correct this Canadian's grammar as the question "this is yourself?" doesn't really make sense. I think for a split second and decide not to say anything.
Me - "Yes, that's me."
Canadian Border Guard II now studies the passport again and looks back into my eyes.
Canadian Border Guard II - "Take off your glasses."
I take of my glasses.
Canadian Border Guard II - "When did you cut your hair?"
Me - "I don't know, that picture is five years old. I have cut my hair a bunch of times."
Canadian Border Guard II stares into my eyes again.
Canadian Border Guard II - "What crimes have you been convicted of?"
Me - "None."
Canadian Border Guard II - "What about just misdameanors?"
Me - "None."
Canadian Border Guard II - "Alright, that's it."
Me - "What?"
Canadian Border Guard II - "That's it."
He hands me the passport back.
Me - "I can go?"
Canadian Border Guard II - "Yup."
I consider now asking for a stamp in my passport, given the hassle I just endured, but I think
What?
More Canadian nonsense better of it and just walk out the door.
Me - (outloud to myself) "Canada sucks."
I get back in the car and continue north to Vancouver.
I spend the afternoon working in the Vancouver suburbs and as the sun is setting I make my way to my hotel downtown in Vancouver. I was surprised how big Vancouver is, and how impressive the skyline is. I decide to do a little walking but it is cold and rainy (it is Vancouver after all) so I decide I'd better drive. So, I drive around the city a bit and find a lively bar/restaurant. I talk to the bartender and marvel at the distinctive sound of the Canadian accent.
Now I begin to notice that the people in Canada look slightly different than Americans. This is strange to me and I can't quite put my finger on what makes them different, is it the hairstyles? The clothes? Is it just the accents? Who knows, but it is a very real phenomenon.
I make it a pretty early night after walking around for a few hours and in the morning make my way back to America. The line
to America was much longer than the line to Canada, and the border guards were much more pleasant and seemingly more effective as well, given the length of the line to get into the land of the free and the home of the brave.
Of everywhere I've ever been, I have never been as happy to be home as I was when I left Canada. And by the way, the back of the Canadian $5 bill has a scene depicting a hockey game on it. Which is at the same time both awesome and ridiculous. Oh, Canada!
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Michael
non-member comment
You have got to be kidding me, you are basing your opinion of Canada and Canadians on a small incident at the border! And yes I say small because my husband and I have gotten a lot more of a hassle than that crossing the border into the United States, and I have American citizenship. If I were to make assumptions on the United States based on some select experiences I have had there I would think that Americans are ignorant of other countries because they think Vancouver and Toronto are the only cities in Canada or that all Canadians love beer, beavers, and hockey. Fortunately I am not a narrow minded person and I travelled the States enough (yes more an a trip for a few hours to one city) to know that these things are simply not true. You might want to think about how your comments poorly reflect American citizens and reinforce stereotypes about Americans being egocentric and arrogant.