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Published: November 4th 2007
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Crazy storm cloud
There's been really bad flooding, the city's poor are worse than they've been in over a decade. One thing I don’t like about the English language is the term left handed makes them sound as if they are different but equal to right-handed when we all know this isn’t true. Spanish improves on this with the word zurdo, which makes it sound more like the handicap and indicator of a malevolent soul that it really is. "Don’t trust that zurdo son of a b." Or "Of course he cheated on his wife, he’s a zurdo." This rhymes with sordo, which is also an affliction, deaf. The question portion of the show: Why is it that every work meeting I have turns into a pre-Festivus airing of the grievances? Is there anything sketchier than a military non-competitive government contract? Like fine wine, does Bon Jovi keep getting better? Did anyone else recently discover that Chuck Norris grew up in Prairie Village (suburb of Kansas City) where I also spent a summer of my life living with my father and ex-step mother? This probably helps explain why I’m such a BA. Domicilio (home delivery) is the best thing ever. They deliver absolutely everything you could ever want here, usually for free. If you can buy it in this country, you
High School Musical
Doing a dance routine in Halloween gear. can have it delivered and it’s great. Pharmacy is the funniest, you can have prescription drugs for which you have no prescription delivered to your door free of charge. I use this for rehydrating drinks (pedialyte, etc.) when I ingest something that disagrees with my gringo digestive system. It was my maid’s birthday and none of you called her. Real cool. My birthday present was a day free of physical or verbal abuse for not ironing my boxers exactly the way I like them. I started making my kids call me Mr. Joely but they have to sing it to the tune of Ozzy´s Mr. Crowley. When you indicate how tall someone is here you put your hand meaty part down like you’re karate chopping their head. If you put it palm down as we do in the US it means they are an animal. "My dog is -hand signal- tall." I think this is ridiculous that they have different symbols for two reasons. 1. We are animals biologically and it seems really insecure to make up different hand signals for animals and humans. 2. The meaty part of your hand isn’t flat. Are they as tall as the tip
Bandeja Paisa
Traditional Colombian health food with protein from chicken, pig (2), cow, and vegetable (2). of the pinky or the curvy meat part? My dog is pregnant. There are more pleasant things than watching two dogs do it and I had no idea that they got "pegado" or stuck together for 15 minutes during the process. I do commend boy dogs on the flexibility of their "situation." My shower head/water heater broke and has become a serious electrocution risk. The sad thing is that the decision of whether to risk it or take a cold shower is not an easy one. Nothing sucks like bye week. We have long weekends the next two weeks, which is good since I think you should have vacation at least twice a month. However, after that stretch we have to work two whole weeks before another long weekend, then two MORE weeks before our 3-week paid Christmas break (with a half month’s pay bonus). Not gonna be easy, but I’ll push through. I heard Bill Murray won the Nobel Peace Prize for his work bringing recognition to the global ghost problem or something like that. It is stunning to think that some people believe it doesn’t really exist. I failed the governor’s son, which may or may not end badly for me. Not my fault he doesn’t work. I hope he doesn’t read this. So sometimes if you have a maid 6 days a week you always wear the same two shirts because the shirt you just wore the day before is the one that she washed while you were at work and is on top of the pile. If you’re curious what little Colombian’s say while celebrating the Catholic holiday Halloween they say, Tricky trick Halloween, I want candy para mi, and if you don’t give them to me, I hope your nose grows. That’s a loose translation. Para mi means for me, I left that part Spanish so you could see how it rhymes. There’s a student at my school named Johnny Walker. It brings to mind the Brazilian footballer Argelico Fucks. Which after a trade to Benfica led to the memorable newspaper headline “Argel Fucks off to Benfica.” Congrats to my big brother Mark on finally becoming a father.
Music of the week: Major Lodge Victory by the Gin Blossoms. First album in over 10 years and it’s excellent. Come on Hard is my current favorite.
Spanish quirk of the week: The verb for fighting and discussing is the same in Spanish, discutir. This may explain some Latin temperaments; they’ve never learned to distinguish between the two.
Book of the week: Charles Bukowski Selected Letters. Vol. 1. It’s enormously entertaining to read the letters of this poet/postal worker. He complains a lot and well, which I enjoy.
Movie of the week: I finally saw Midnight Express, apparently it came out 20 something years ago. The real story is more interesting, as is the history of the actor.
Pitching from down under like Dan Quisenberry,
~T
"Queering doesn’t make the world work" - Warrior. Formerly Jim Hellwig and once known as The Ultimate Warrior he had his name changed. He is now an anti-liberal motivational speaker.
“You know how when Homer is in a meeting and thinking of donuts, that’s how I feel in math class.” ~Anonymous (for his own protection) 5th grade student in his English journal.
“Kindness is just about the best you can do.” ~Charles Bukowski
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gloria marce
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An English Quirk
Though the english language is extremely accurate, we can notice how for some couples sometimes is hard to express their feelings without blowing what they have. In spanish there are two different words to express love, one of them more serious then the other. When we say "te amo" the correct translation would be "I love You", which is a serious thing to say. But when we want to express what we feel without scaring our couple away or going to a dead-end alley we juat say "te quiero". The literal translation would be "Iwant you", which would end up being something weird, or kinky, to say. It's more like showing your infatuation, more or less.