Los Angeles - 'Hell-A'

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Tuesday October 9th - Hell-A

We arrived in LA early in the morning, after another perfectly smooth LAN Peru flight. It was an 1 ½ taxi ride to the Best Western on Sunset Boulevard, and luckily they let us check in early, ( we arrived at the hotel at 9am ). They even let us go for breakfast that morning. The hotel is actually really nice, the room is spacious and there is free wi-fi. The pool area is in a nice courtyard at the rear.

We dropped our bags, had some breakfast and set off toward Hollywood. LA is a sprawling mass. Absolutely no-one walks anywhere, the car is defiantly king here. In some place it is actually impossible to walk as there are no pavements or crossings - and you really dont want to try and cross some of these roads without a crossing! After twenty minutes walking, we realised that we were walking in the wrong direction, so an about turn and another hour and a half brought us out at the Chinese Theatre, home of the Academy awards. We walked along to the end of the walk of stars where we are sure we saw Harrison Ford’s and Bing Crosby’s names twice, in two different locations??? We walked to the end of Hollywood Boulevard so we could see the Hollywood sign in the hills beyond.

There are a lot of rich, good looking people around. There are Ferrari’s, Lamborghinis, Bentleys and Rolls Royce’ everywhere. I have never seen so many expensive cars on the road at any one time. The odd thing is, LA itself is a bit of a dump. It’s unkempt, untidy and generally looks a bit rough around the edges. Most places have that temporary look about them that most large US cities seem to suffer from. There are no nice red-brick buildings around here. It’s flat roofs and concrete walls.

We walked back and spent a nice afternoon snoozing in the sun around the pool. The weather is perfect, around 28c, no wind, clear blue skies and not too humid. Perfect.

We checked out the Saddle Ranch chop house over the road from our hotel for dinner. It was like an old western saloon, and very popular. Again, the place was awash with trendy young rich folk with snazzy clothes and silicone breasts. The food was really cheap, very nice and massive portions. I had a kettle of Chillie which cast about £4 and was the size of a washing up bowl. I struggled to finish it, but managed. Emma asked for the ‘petite’ option for her dish of grilled salmon, and it was still a hearty serving. In the middle of the restaurant was a bucking bull machine, but unfortunately it was not working - good job really, as the busty waitress was a bit too keen on me having a go. I didn’t really fancy it with a belly full of chillie, not unless the onlookers wanted a taste of it.

Wednesday morning we took a cab to Universal Studios. This is more like it, the place is very polished and very exciting. We were there for about 9:30 and the gates opened at 10. It wasn’t busy at all and we didn’t have to queue for anything all day! We started on the original tour, a long tram that wound through the back lot, where all the sets are. Some things we couldn’t go passed as they were actually filming! We did see the Bates Motel, the plane crash set from War of the Worlds, Some of the houses from Desperate Housewives, A place called little Europe where they have filmed stacks of movies in the same small area. There was a place called ‘6 points’ which was an old Western set where in the hay day they could simultaneously shoot up to 6 movies at once on the same set. Remarkable considering the size of these sets. They are very small and unremarkable in the flesh. There were also a couple of interactive attractions on the tram. We drove passed Amity Island and a rubber Jaws jumped out right next to the tram. We went into a subway and suddenly there was an earthquake. The roof caved in and a tanker came crashing into the tram side and exploded, then a subway train piled in and crashed, then the place flooded! All this is within inches of the side of the tram - you are right in the middle of it, and it is very well done indeed.

After the tour we headed for the Jurassic Park ride, which again was really good. It was basically a huge log flume, but went through Jurassic Park, with animatronic dinosaurs etc. It was very well done, and you did feel like you were in the film. The drop was ace and I got totally soaked. From there we checked out the Mummy ride, which was an indoor rollercoaster and was pretty standard fare as they go. After the rides, we checked out the Backdraft attraction. This was awesome. You went into a sound stage where they showed some films on how backdraft the movie was made, then you went into a huge chemical warehouse set. There was a small fire in the office, which then exploded and soon you were in the middle of an enormous inferno, gangways crashing down infornt of you and barrels exploding and shooting off. You could really feel the heat from the flames, It was very loud and very convincing. There were a few other things we checked out before lunch, like the special effect attraction - which was so/so.

The Waterworld stunt show was good, a twenty minute feature with people falling from heights into the water and lots of chasing around and jumps on jet ski’s, the finale being a huge plane crashing in form nowhere, and for the second time that day - we got drenched!

After lunch, ( in another Saddle Bar chop house ), we did the Terminator 2 3D atraction. We didn’t hold out much hope for a 3D show, but this was incredible. You sat in a small cinema and the show was part live action, part move - the two seeming to blend together. The 3D parts were staggering, you really did feel like you could reach out and touch things, and were constantly wincing and jumping as things came out of the screen. We were very impressed, so much so that we did the Shrek 3D afterword.

The last thing we had left to do on the park was the House of Horrors. This was pretty good too, it was the usual haunted house affair, follow the corridors along and now and again someone in a mummy suit would jump out at you. It was good though, there was a reconstruction of Frankenstein lab, with a crazed scientist running around shouting at you and banging an iron bar against the railings. You walked through a corridor with clear body bags hung from the ceiling, you had to move the bodies out of the way to get through, at the end a guy dressed as Leatherface jumped out with a chainsaw - it was great fun, ( Emma jumped many times ).

We were shattered after that, so managed to find a bus to the subway station, did our usual trick of going the wrong way on the subway, then finally managed to get home after one bus, two trains and a short taxi.

Thursday was a total washout. We got up early with the intention of going to the Getty museum. It’s only about 8 miles away - no problem. Unfortunately, Taxi’s in LA are ridiculously expensive, so that was out. It was too far to walk and the bus option required three different busses. We went for the busses. The problem with the busses here is this:- you don’t know which one you want as they all have the same number, you don’t know where they are going and you don’t know when they are coming! The worst part is, you get on to ask if it’s the right bus, but they have set off before they tell you it’s the wrong one! Three times that happened! They let you one, you ask them if it’s the bus to so-and-so, they set off then tell you it isn’t and you have to wait till the next stop to get off, ( which could be round the corner, on another street or the other side of a freeway). It was ridicules. It took us three buses of trial and error, plus a taxi to eventually get there - and over two hours! To top it all, I thought the Getty museum was rubbish, the exhibits were good but the building was cold, stark and sterile. It was high on a hill with views over LA and Beverly Hills. We waited outside for over an hour for a bus back, and once again the driver set off before he told us we were on the wrong one! What is it with these people!. We managed to get home eventually on a couple of different busses and promptly crashed out in the hotel for a couple of hours.

We have talked to a few people whilst we have been here, mainly Armenian taxi drivers, or bus passengers - all having one thing in common, they ALL hate living in LA.

Friday, and it’s our last day. We don’t leave until 9pm tonight, so have best part of the day to explore more. We walked to a local, ( 30 minute walk ), mall and got cut-off on the way by the police responding to a robbery, so we had to wait a while until we could pass. The mall was a crashing disappointment anyway, so we got a bus back, ( this time a nice bus driver, and the right bus - whahay. ) I hit the fitness centre in the hotel whilst Emma chilled out around the pool. We nipped out for a late lunch and piled into taxi bound for LAX.

With the exception of Universal Studios, LA has been pretty rubbish. It’s not a nice place by any means. It would be way better if you had a car so you can get out and see more, but general exploring on foot and the poor public transport leave you a bit stuck. Still, it’s been good just to stay in one place for a few days after the hectic schedule in Peru. I’m sat in the departure gate at LAX typing this up, passing the time until we board our 12 ½ flight to New Zealand.

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Photos

'Premiere'
The Chinese Theatre - Hollywood, where the big movies are premiered.

The Hollywood sign
( way off in the hills behind )

Back to the Future.
The estate gates from Back to the Future at Universal Studios back lot.

Comments

[Yuri]

LA
I never liked LA neither. Our sales HQ is in LA, and thought about moving there last year, but that thought did not go very far!