The Adventures of Tun Tun in "The Mandalay Controversy"

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I enthusiastically patted the seat next to me, grunted reassuringly and nodded as eagerly as I could, hoping desperately that this act alone would put off anyone thinking about sitting next to such an unsavoury character...

Now I wouldn't normally be this ungracious but I was still recovering from the previous bus ride, where my co-seatee had intermittently leant over me, spitting half of his betelnut juice out of the window, and the other half in my lap. Ignoring my contained revulsion, the scarlet-mouthed bandit dropped his duffel bag on the floor and hopped nonchalantly off the bus at the next set of lights. I'm not sure why I was the only one who thought this was odd.

But yes, despite my best impersonation of an escaped convict, a young man took up the adjacent seat for what was to become a 20 hour bus ride to Mandalay. What the heck, I thought, turning to him and giving him my best "Minglaba" (hello). He didn't answer but looked shyly at his feet. I looked too, but his feet were quite unremarkable. Hmmph... I put on my headphones and turned my attention outside the window.

Fifteen minutes later, I felt a gentle tug on my elbow. Shyboy is offering me a stick of gum and I accept, being easily bought. He couldn't really speak any English, but I managed to work out that his name was Tun Tun, and at 21, he was the youngest of nine kids, and lived in Namsanh, a mountainous town in Shan State that Lonely Planet described as "The Switzerland of Myanmar". After a few hours of impromptu Pictionary, he invited me to stay with him, which I became quite excited about, especially after he drew his house perched loftily amongst a rather pathetic looking set of trees. I drew him the floor plan of my Canberra flat but he didn't seem too excited by the circa 1976 corner buffet.

Tun Tun and I quickly became great mates, although he developed the annoying habit of carrying my bag. The only problem is that after a day and a half in Mandalay, it became apparent that he didn't have any idea what he was doing. He liked to smoke and drink 3-in-1 instant coffee, but seemingly couldn't find his way around Mandalay, or work out how to get back to Namsanh, as hard as he tried. He wasn't alone, I often had taxi and sai-car (trishaw) riders snatch the map off me and argue over directions, not realising that they were examining the map of a completely different town. I didn't have the heart to take over the crusade and just book the tickets for him. To save face, I eventually made a phone call and feigned having to return to Yangon the following day, and bade my new friend farewell. He implored me to have one final attempt, so we caught a pick-up to the outskirts of town to find a booking office which didn't exist. After some more time wringing our hands, I reminded him that we were due to check out of the guesthouse in twenty minutes. Precious money and time poorly spent, he looked at me and shrugged his shoulders. Smoke and Coffee?

Memorable moments from Mandalay
Asking around for an English-Burmese dictionary, I was invited to step behind the vendor's counter. Not understanding the need for his furtiveness, I complied a little apprehensively. A worn ledger was extracted from some secret compartment and opened to reveal.... a porn rag that must have come from the 70s. There were many such head-shaking moments in Mandalay, a town that I really didn't warm to. People are quite aggressively after your money and there are far fewer genuine people than there are in Yangon, it seems at first glance. But I was only there a short while. Off to Bagan!

From a waif in London still...

Nice one mate! Good to see you having fun and wtf is Catriona
Rowntree?

Anyway I do have one problem with your blog; you mention you
were given a keyboard and an ensuite bathroom but you neglect to
mention what type of keyboard it is. Is it a board with some
hooks on the wall where you put your keys or is it a board
describing the construction and cadential progression of the
diatonic and/or quartertone scales?

I'm confused.

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Photos

Brothers in Arms
Showing remarkable restraint, I have avoided photographing monks until today.

A Fistful of Kyat
Gripping on for dear life on pick-ups is a fun way to get around town. The number of people they stack on the roof is extraordinary.

Obligatory local kid shot
This kid's toys were either the circular piece of stainless steel, or his mother's feet.

Comments

[TinNiE]

Exotic!
Burma! Someday =)