Advertisement
Published: March 11th 2007
Edit Blog Post
It is Sunday morning and I sit before this computer absolutely exhausted. For yesterday you see, I went shopping. Twice. And (with apologies to Dickens) it was the best of capitalism, it was the worst of capitalism. Truly a tale of two cities.
In the morning I accompanied Marie (a French girl whom I met here at the guesthouse) to Siam Square, home of the undisputed heavyweight malls of Bangkok. Marie does not speak much english, and I am sure you are all aware of my abilities to speak french. So needless to say there has not been a lot of conversation between us. And I need to remember that simply by speaking english in a "Pepe-le-phew" will not magically make her understand me either. Ah well, after almost a week here on my own it was simply nice to have some company and not be the only whitey on the Skytrain. Once we got to Siam Square we split up and wne tour seperate ways. I went the Paragon mall, an air conditioned oasis that caters to the future rulers of Bangkok. The mall was full of European designer boutiques, expensive jewellery shops (I kept my eye open for
my tuk-tuk driver, but no sign of him in the end), and the Ferrari store. Yes, thats right, the Ferrari store. I bet you are thinking to yourself, there isn't anything odd about a store like that. After all, they have these shops all over the world where you can buy officially licensed Ferrari products like shirts, hats, posters. Only this place actually had Ferraris for sale. Literally. On the 4th floor of the MALL! And what was next top the Ferrari shop you ask? The Lamborghini shop. Duh! Not quite the Rideau Centre, that is for sure. And what did I buy while I was there you ask? What did I buy in this temple to consumerism? After checking my cash flow situation I realized I may not have enough for a Ferrari, so I bought a book (but not from the Ferrari shop.) Yes, your hero is a nerd. Then again, not really a shocking revelation for any of you is it? And then, just like Keyser Soze, I was gone.
Gone to Chatuchak (sp?) market. This market is something else entirely. It is an open air market at the north end of the Skytrain that consists
of an estimated 15,000 stalls, most of them no bigger than about 8 by 10 feet. On any given Saturday or Sunday, an estimated 200,000 people pass through it to bargain for whatever it is they may need. Designer clothing? They got it. Fake Gucci handbags? They got it. Salt and pepper shakers? They got it. Dalmatian dogs? They got it. Wicker chairs? They got it. Deep fried cockroaches and maggots? They got it! Anyways you get the picture. It is an experience in itself. It seems to be where (the other) half of Thailand comes to do its shopping. And oddly enough, even though I hate crowds, I enjoyed walking around, despite the heat, the smells, and the unidentifiable stuff that was stuck to the bottom of my flip-flops. Trust me, I dont think you want to know what it was. I dont even want to know what it was.
Needless to say, I went to the market in the hopes of making a purchase. I badly need a new pair of shorts these days as I have been losing weight since I got here. The heat and walking have combined to bring me in on the scales at a very svelte 215 lbs. After an hour or so of walking I managed to find some shorts that I liked and proceeded to ask "where can I try these on?" Nothing. The woman looks at me and points to the price and puts out her hand. I say once again, "No, no, where can I try these on?" Once again the hand comes out and asks for money. I am reminded by the line from Cool Hand Luke, "What we've got here is failure to communicate..." I try one more time and get the same result, so instead I just say to her "Bumblebee tuna? Bumblebee tuna?" and start to laugh. Next thing you know she is smiling and laughing so I just start saying "Bumblebee tuna, Bumblebee tuna" to everyone in the markets stalls around me. Before you know it they are all smiling at one another, and then one of them starts saying to the others "Bumblebee tuna" in this Thai accent and in seconds they are all on the floor with laughter. In the end the shorts didnt fit an I left to a chorus of "Bumblebee tuna" in the background.
I did manage to get my haircut though, and it cost me all of a whopping $2. Which I though was a bargain, as based on the quality of the cut I would say it was definitely worth at least $3.
My last point of note is the alarming presence of 7-11's over here. They are literally everywhere. On the 5 minute walk from my guesthouse to the Skytrain I pass nine 7-11's, which seems a bit like overkill, 'cos seriously, just how many Slurpees do you really need in 5 minuts. So I started thinking about it a bit. And I think I know why. It is really pretty obvious when you think about it. Have you figured it out yet? No? Well, it is my contention that 7-11 plans to takeover Thailand. Think about it. The average temperature here is probably mid 30s. If 7-11 were to monopolize the corner store market, think of the profits. With that kind of heat, and with only Slurpees for sale they could make a fortune. Of course there is an alternative theory. Thailand is the land of designer fakes, so I suppose there is always a chance that some of these 7-11's are fake. In fact, if I were to follow that line of thought I suppose there is a greater question that could be raised. I may not even be in Bangkok. Bangkok may not even exist. Perhaps, and this is just a theory at the moment, but just perhaps, Bangkok is really a 'fake' Singapore. Hmmmm, I think I will investigate some more....
Advertisement
Tot: 0.101s; Tpl: 0.011s; cc: 6; qc: 43; dbt: 0.0777s; 1; m:domysql w:travelblog (10.17.0.13); sld: 1;
; mem: 1.1mb
anonymous
non-member comment
Bangkok is the real and original one. Singapore is new and fake. Bangkok and the Thai people have been like this for so long, long before the birth of a tiny new city state called Singapore.