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Published: February 3rd 2007
"I'm Bon"
The condom I received with my movie ticket to the new James Bond film. And just because I know you're dying to know, the lime-green background is my couch.They recently opened a movie theater at the bottom of my building and Thursdays are half-price, which means 30 RMB instead of 60 RMB for a new movie. (I can buy a bowl of noodles for 5 RMB, so that gives you some idea of how expensive going to the movies is here -- especially when you can buy illegal copies of new movies for 12 RMB.) I saw the sign go up for the new James Bond movie and waited anxiously for weeks for it to arrive in Chinese theaters. I even went into the theater, pointed at the sign and said, "When?" in Chinese. Finally, it has arrived, and so tonight three of us went to watch James defeat the bad guys.
We went up to the ticket counter and asked for three tickets. After picking our seats (I'm of mixed opinion about whether assigned seating in a movie theater is better than a free-for-all or not), the wonderfully helpful ticket people handed us our tickets, a coupon for a local tea house, and three condoms. No, you didn't misread that. The condoms were packaged nicely as part of a larger flyer, and at first we weren't sure
Where I live
The movie theater on bottom and my building on top. what they were, because although they looked like condoms, we were convinced that they weren't. April took hers and said, "What is th...OH MY GOODNESS!" when she opened the little envelope hiding what was underneath. This, of course, resulted in giggles from the ticket people who obviously weren't sure whether they should be amused or embarrassed. On the front of the package, it said, "I'm Bon." Bon is the Chinese version of Bond. (Actually, Bon De is the Chinese version of Bond, but the famous line is translated in Chinese as "Wo shi Bon." (And actually, the correct pinyin spelling is Ban, but it is pronounced more like Bon.))
Needless to say, we were quite confused. China is quite frank about the need for population control and condoms are readily available and, in fact, prominently displayed at every store from Wal-Mart to 7-11, but this seemed a bit beyond normal condom-pushing. Why in the world did we get condoms with our movie ticket? Had movie make-out sessions progressed beyond necking in this city? Did they give condoms to all the customers or just to us foreigners (who most Chinese assume are ultra-promiscuous, having wild crazy sex with a different
Everybody loves 007
In China, most people know James Bond as simply "007." Except, instead of "Double-Oh Seven," they say "Zero-Zero-Seven." partner every night)? What in the world was going on?
Everything finally became clear to us during the previews. After enjoying a few previews of films I hope will come to the theater located conveniently at my doorstep (literally - when you come out the theater exit, you're two steps from my lobby) a commercial came on. James Bondish music was playing, a James Bondish background flashed on the screen, but instead of James Bond, out came a walking condom wearing sunglasses and carrying a gun. I'm not kidding. And then, the condom points the gun at the audience and says (in Chinese), "I'm Bon...Jissbon." Sure enough, the condoms we had received with our movie tickets were Jissbon brand.
You're jealous, I know...
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Cori
non-member comment
Of Course I am jealous
I love Bond, too. Nice lime couch!