Along the Banks of the River Hooghly

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It's a good thing we started our Indian Immersion in Kolkata.

1. Kolkata is simply the craziest thing I have ever seen. A family friend, upon hearing that I was flying to this city, said that I was in for a heavy dose of humanity. He was dead-on. Kolkata is people--people everywhere jostling and shouting, and sounding like they're shouting even when they aren't because most of the city is at least partially deaf from all the noise (fact). The smells are impossible to ignore: underneath the waves of spice, incense, and perfume are strong currents of human feces and urine and garbage. Bengalis pack themselves into this patch of reclaimed wetlands and then treat it like a garbage dump; litter and rubble and human waste are scattered everywhere. Ancient trees seem to sprout from the centers of streets and buildings, preserved as religious shrines. Even the busiest streets are like tent cities for the hundreds of thousands of homeless beggars. Watching the traffic is like watching a war between ants, and if you wanna cross the road, you better start now.

2. This is the most impoverished place in India and it is also the cultural center of India. Massive political demonstrations are regular occurences here, and the Tollygunge studio area is crowded with filmmakers eager to channel that energy into their next political documentary or art film. Those beggars I mentioned will follow you for blocks, not bumming money for beer, but entreating you to buy some nutritionally enhanced porridge mix for their children. The potholed streets are lined with crumbling buildings, but the grafitti on the walls reminds you not to urinate there (and don't forget to support the Communist Party). The city has been home to five Nobel Prize laureates, including hometown hero Radindranath Tegore for Literature (a poet and university-founder, busts and statues of him are everywhere), the literal Saint--Mother Theresa--for Peace (whose quiet mission lies on the edge of a steaming Muslim slum), and economist Amartya Sen, for his work on welfare economics. The nation's greatest museum, a magnificient collection of academic cinemas, famous architectural remnants of the British--all are nestled amongst the smog and grime and humanity of Kolkata.

3. We had a great host. Vijay Sharma is a whirlwind (impossible to follow in a crowd, and don't bother waiting to get a word in when you catch him, because he's doing all the talking), but there was probably no better person to introduce us to this place. A small entrepreneur in a city finally recovering from decades of economic stagnation, Vijay is also locked-in to that famous Kolkata cultural-elite. His friends ranged from a religiously devout and incredibly-eloquent former Indian Army Colonel to a film artist so passionate in his rants and rampages that I could only understand every third word. Vijay helped us find the best hidden restaurants, gave us tours of the important cultural sights, introduced us to "Tollywood" movers and shakers, and made sure we didn't have too much trouble getting around. He's got even more plans for us when we come back, but who knows when Chelly will let me return...

4. It makes everywhere else in India look fantastic. Don't get me wrong, I loved Kolkata, but India is definitely a third-world country and the extremes of this city prepared us for what was to come like nothing else could have. After Kolkata, every city seems warm and clean. After Kolkata, we can sleep through the loudest traffic and parties and most any other noise. After Kolkata, we are innoculated to the often-puzzling inquisitiveness and argumentativeness of many Indians. After Kolkata, we don't bother planning too intensely or trying to hurry anywhere. After all, visiting India is like riding on an Elephant: it's big and lumbering and steadily on the move--get used to the smell and to the noise and just enjoy the ride.

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Comments

[fuck]

you
1. "India is such a poor country. I feel so fortunate." Just want to make sure "Indians" dont feel that they are "unfortunate". "You" think they are unfortunate. Even the kids in orphanage are happy and optimistic about their life. That is India. 2. "I see so many beggars, cows,dogs, monkeys in the road" I see so many doctors, engineers, programmers, civil servants. Now you will come running and say what about percentage. EXACTLY. You got the point. How much percentage are the beggars? Unlike the so called "civilized" world(lasvegas,nyc,france) where they forcibly remove homeless(note they dont use the word beggars in developed countries), India on the other hand does not treat them like shit. They are part of India and they work hard for their money. India is a truly "free" country, everyone has the right to do what they want and they usually do. People go up in life. They dont just remain in the streets. Also here is a data from UN. The definition for poverty is the same all over the world. According to that, India has 24% people in poverty and US has 14% in poverty. Now i know in absolute numbers that is huge in India. But again With such a population you will have this numbers. 3. "India is so dirty and smelly. They dont use trash" The garbage in India is "organic". Very less plastic and more biodegradable foods. It is far better than "developed" countries where plastic fills the land fills and which takes 1000s of years to degrade. And also a couple of papers lying in the road doesn't make a "country" "dirty". And also your cheese smells bad to Indians. And we dont complain about your "smell". So shut it. 4. "Touts and Beggars" Dont think "everyone" is out to get you. Some want to cheat you and some just want to help you. Dont be constantly paranoid like you are in your country. In New york City thy dont try to con you. They just "shoot" you if you dont give money. Indians are just trying to con you. And they know, you know they are trying to con you. It is just a game. And also it is not just "you" foreigners for whom the price is raised. It is also for the locals. Nobody thinks they are being cheated. Every single Indian goes through what you go through. It is just a way of life. People raise the price, and you haggle. The more skilled you are the better offer you get. And also remember there are equal number of honest people who dont try to cheat you. So dont be constantly paranoid. 5. Toilets. Indians wipe with their hand. First Indians dont "wipe" with their left hand. They "wash" with their left hand. And they use "soap" to clean up after. So dont just wash and not use soap. Use soap if you dont get a TP. Otherwise you will get diarrhea. 6. Toilets in Trains Dont expect a hilton level toilet when you pay 50 cents for a 500 km journey. If you want good bathrooms get tickets in first class or AC compartments. The bathrooms in first class/ac are good. In India you get what you pay for. So for better conditions pay more money. And dont use a quotation for class like this, 'class'. After all, the flight that you took also have 'executive/business class'. The classes are for people who have money and want better conditions just like any other country. 7. Hotels/Hostels Again dont be complaining about bathrooms or rooms when you pay 1$/night. If you want better conditions go to better hotels. I understand you backpackers are on a shoestring budget. If that is the case don't "complain" and tell everyone Indian hotels are disgusting. In India, services are there for people with different amounts of money(just like any other country). So if you want better conditions like your country pay like you do in your country. 8. "I stayed in my friends house and it was small" You don't need a palace to "feel" like a king. All you need is a loving family to feel like a king. 9. Women This is for all you bra burners. Indian women are not "marginalized" any more than your counterparts in your country. Just because you dont see a woman walking in your street doesn't mean they are in the house cooking and washing.First talk to "Indian" women from different walks of life (rich/middle class/poor) and then make "judgements". Just to put it into perspective we had a woman prime minister in the "1960s". SHAME ON YOU AMERICANS. And yes there are some marginilized women. I know that. They are also in plenty in your country. So open your eyes and think. And showing your boobs on Girls Gone Wild or fighting in Jerry Springer Show doesn't make you "liberated". Indians consider "that" marginalized. 10. Arranged Marriages There is another preconcieved notion that bride and groom "meet" on the day of their marriage. They "meet" and know each other at least a minimum of 3 months or a maximum of 1 year before marrying. And also only a few "women" are "forced". Like i said "above" talk to an "Indian" woman from all walks of life(rich/middle class/poor) and then make judgements. 11. "I am surprised to see a mall, with girls in mini skirts and boyfriends". Welcome to the land of contradictions. Whatever you see the opposite is "equally" true. 12. "I see cows and elephants on the road" Who told you the roads are only for humans. And who said cows dont "belong"in roads. 13. "India has bad roads with potholes" Dont blame India if you dont want to take the Golden quadrilateral road for your trips. 14. "Men hold hands" Well Indians dont have to prove that they are "men" by screwing 10 different girls and bragging about it to their friends. Indians dont see that as a big deal. Although some may also be gay couples. And we dont treat them with contempt like Americans do in their country. 15. "India is a conservative country and you should not kiss in public" First visit some malls. Second even if that is true the law applies only to Indians. not you foreigners. And nobody is going to throw stones at you for kissing(this does not apply to temples). 16 "Holy cow" PETA hates India because India is one of the biggest leather manufacturer. Take a guess on how leather is made. Cow skin hides. Yes Indians slaughter cows like there is no tomorrow. Yes, Indians are as hypocrites as any other race/culture. 17. I see slums and poor people I see big buildings and malls. "You SEE what you LOOK/SEARCH for". 18. Houses are on top of each other Yeah, that is called an apartment. 19. "The streets are dirty" Again a couple of news paper flying doesnt make a country "dirty". 20. Varanasi Ok, this going to be long. This is from an Indian perspective. Varanasi is filled with the following Bums pretending to be sadhus- 60% Priests-20% Tourists-20% (Includes Indians) I said bums because these group of people ran away from their family so they could escape difficulties in life and just lead a poor albeit easy going life just by begging in varanasi or touting. They do not represent "hinduism" or "hindus". Also not "all" Hindus go to varanasi and throw their bodies in ganges. Only the poor illiterates do that. We have crematoriums all over the different cities. 2000 years ago varanasi was a center of culture. Right now it is anything but. Varanasi does not represent Hinduism right now. It is just old glory. Like the British Empire. It is good to look back. But right now it is just a city full of lazy bums who want to beg. 21. "This city is modern, and educated"/"Only a few people are educated. Many dont know English". Just because they speak "english" doesn't mean they are educated. Many poeple are educated in their native toungues and "that" also means "modern" and "educated". People dont have to learn english to become modern, look at the japanese. We have our own languages to do that. Lets talk about literacy data, Under 35 years of age the literacy rate in India is comparable to developed countries(90%). As a whole population the literacy level reduces because the old people were not allowed to go to school before independence. Take a look at UN Human development index for "Facts". It will corroborate what i say. And in one blog an idiot traveler wrote girls are not allowed to go to school in India. That is just plain ignorant. Again I repeat talk to women from different walks of life(rich/middle class/poor) before making judgements. That doesnt mean talking to one person and making a judgement about 1 billion people. 22. "This is a modern city, they have pizza and pasta and girls wear skirts and jeans" Excuse me!!!. That is so condscending. Indians love their food and their culture. And remember you are in India. Sarees and salwars are modern too according to Indians. 23. "It is so crowded" Indian population is 1.1 billion and thats how it will be. If you dont like crowds dont come to India. 24. "This is a British Hill Station, French colony, Portuguese colony, Dutch colony" Yes we remember you screwed us really well, but it is "WAS" people. "WAS". 25. "The internet is slow. They dont have usb ports" There are high fi internet centers in big buildings and malls. Again the price would be higher. So don't complain. Dont go to a shack with a coputer and complain about no USB. That computer was meant for poor people who cant afford to pay more. So if you want your usb,webcam,mike speaker, and any other idiotic gadgetry go to big buildings and malls. 26. Caste Caste categories(not caste) are used in only "one" place. When applying for government colleges and jobs for reservation(affirmative action). No Indian discusses about his "caste" unless you shoot him with too many questions.There are "NO" untouchables. The word untouchables is illegal in India from 1947. So dont be poking about castes. And caste is not based on color of the skin. That is a misconception of westerners. 27. "Indians eat with their hands" So do YOU. How do you think you eat your sandwich with mayo dripping,pizza,burgers,fries,subs,burritos,tacos,bbq, wings, bread,cake, cookies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. So suddenly eating rice with hands is sooooooooooooooooo "uncivilised" and dramatic for you??????? 28. "In India i have to haggle for everything. Back home it is so easy". Yes India is not like a episode of Stepford wives, where nobody questions. Everything in India is questioned, Indians dont like to be told what to do and what to pay. So they haggle. Thank you, and come again. Remember, You will see what you look/search for. So tourists, what are you looking/searching for?. It would bo good to come with an open mind, not with prejudices or preconcieved notions. And also since westerners use every single instance to prove Indians are uncivilised. I take this opportunity to tell what things are uncivilised according to Indians 1. Male and Female circumcision. If male and female are equal then both are evil. 2. Invading another country for oil and in the process 500,000 iraqis dying. This is definitely uncivilised. 3. Showing your boobs in Girls Gone Wild 4. Appearing on Maury and Jerry Springer shows to find out who your father is. 5. Not knowing who the father of your baby is. 6. Using booster seats for safety of kids but living with different step mom and step dads. 7. Using Paper to clean your body instead of water. 8. Half cooked meat like steak. Only animals eat that way. Eating with fork doesn't make it civilised. 9. Trying to find what is different instead of finding what is common between us. 10. Not having a vegetarian dish other than broccoli, and carrot even after so many years of "civilisation". 11. Having sex with 10 different people but claiming it is about love. NO, it is about sex. 12. Paying $30 for a drink back home. But complaining about $1 increase in fare for autos because of white skin. 13.

[Nicholas John Nakis]

response
Well, I'm pretty certain that this comment wasn't meant as a reply to MY blog. After all, none of the quotations come from me. In any event, I don't agree with censorship in any form, so I'll let this guy say his piece. For the record, I really dig most of the things about India that he's mentioined--or at least try to understand them--and I really don't like most of the things he's criticized about America. Enjoy his rant. Think he should get a blog of his own?

[Aaron Brown]

how'd you meet your host?

[Nicholas John Nakis]

host
www.couchsurfing.com is the way we met almost all of our hosts in India. I highly reccomend it.

[Sakir]

What the?
Ok what was with that angry guys post? Jerk and probably jealous of America !!

[Ranjan Ray]

An Indian's Point of View
Hellos and Hi! Ever since the best of best British left India after Independence, India has been attracting only the unemployed and poor foreign tourists from the West particularly the Hippies and Backpackers not Carpetbaggers . Before Independence as I read from books and magazines only the elite British officers - Indian Civil Service officers, British Indian Army, Educationists, Professionals used to be sent to India. They had to appear in very difficult competitive exams and also had to belong to good British family backgrounds. They were strictly advised never to appear shabbily in public, and encouraged to display British snobbery. These elite class did not mingle with common Indians unless invited by the elite Indian class such as the Kings and High Indian officials to select functions. The middle class Indians although were against British subjugation and discrimination, were at awe by this high class British - known for their discipline, courage, fairness, great education, etiquette etc. The middle class educated Indians wanted to emulate them, so that they too could fit well in the global scenario. Its this middle class Indians, who although proud of their Indian culture wanted to adopt most of the British legacy. No wonder most aspiring indian parents would like to enroll their children in schools that teach in English medium. The missionary and public schools (not the government run schools except Kendriya Vidyalaya or Central School meant for children of Govt. of India servants) even today. Its the Indians who love to get their higher education in Oxford and cambridge as well as in Havrds, Stanford and MIT. This gives them an opportunity to compete on equal footing with the best of best. The hippy culture and the backpackers who visit India would never earn the respect of the educated Indian middle class, that is why the bcakpacker tourists who visit India have to interact with those Indians who have migrated from villages and live in slums in big cities and towns. These Indian guys with whom they interact such as the taxi or auto drivers, guides, touts, waiters are mostly semi literate in vernacular subjects run in village schools. They are uneducated, unsophisticated, people. Even middle class Indians do not like to interact with them unless necessary or are working in some social organisation for their upliftment. I too have come across many backpacker foreign tourists in dirty clothes smelling horribly who do not take bath for days since they prefer staying in urban slums for One dollar a night and eat in the filthiest of eateries bereft of any sense of hygiene. I have never tried to interact with these cheap western tourists. Only those tourists with proper education, professionals such as Doctors, Software engineers, etc. are welcomed by the middle class Indians, since it gives them an opportunity to learn from them, their proper perspective of the world and that of India. Its unfortunate that tourists in the west have to depend on the lopsided versions of the backpackers who visit India to escape the expensive lifestyle of the home countries to live on a shoe string budget for six months unless their VISA is extended by the Govt. of India, which is usually difficult but not impossible. It was better if the tourists who enjoy cheap and friendly stay in India did not complain so loudly. Do not try to compare Nepal with India. These countries depend on India economically. Frankly the West particularly Britain, France and Germany has always tried to play spoil sports by trying to prove that India could not survive long after gaining independence. They have tried to mislead and misuse USA to pressurise Pakistan to wage war on India, to bleed India but all their clandestine efforts have failed, this is only beacuse Indians who have learnt to tolerate and keep moving inch by inch towards self reliance. No wonder India is a Nuclear Power, a Space Power, self reliant in producing food to feed its billion plus Indians. By the by food is cheap in India compared to that in the West. India is well connected by internet, mobile connections, cheap transport. Indians are not bothered what the uneducated unemployed backpackers think of India. Its the elite people in the West such as Bill Gates, Bill Clinton, George Bush, Henry Kissinger who once called Indians Bastards, today regret his words and keep frequenting to India apologising his myopic statements then during Nixons regime, he is a strong advocate of India today. More and more investments from America and Japan are taking place in India. Only the Europeans, who are too proud of their psedo superiority are hesitating to invest in inmdustry but have no option but to set up their car manufacturing infrastructure in India to keep pace with the world which is eagerly looking at India as a lucrative marketplace. Backpackers although you are always welcome to visit India, and enjoy Indian hospitality but do not try to spread canards and propaganda about India. I agree with most of your observations but that is only a portion not the complete picture. If you put up at seedy places, red light areas, slums etc. do not expect the best of India. remember it was in search of India Vasco da Gama found the sea routes and Columbus accidentaly stubled upon America and called the natives over their mistakenly as Indians. Do you know India is the largest importer of tons of Gold and Diamonds in the world? India is the largest exporter of computer software progtrams in the world. It has the second largest number of English speaking people in the world. India has a middle class population as per American standards who exceeds the whole of the population of Europe including Russia. India is also the largest producer of quality milk in the world. There are many things of India that not many westerners know about or care to learn. Although India is predominantly Hindus, yet it has the second largest number of muslim population in the world far more than any Arab country or Pakistan. It is by and large very peaceful even though India baiters try to terrorise India into submission. It is only in India that the Jews and Parsis sought refuge and was never persecuted till St. Francis Xavier arrived in Goa and started the notorious inquisition resulting in burning of Jews at stake in the Malabar coast. When Americans were bundled as Army conscripts to be sent as cannon fodders in Vietnam , many turned Hippies and sought refuge in India who did not wish to go into an unconclusive war in an alien country. When the poor Bengali muslims in East Pakistan suffered attrocitries by the Pakistan Army under a notorious General Tikka Khan and Generla Yah Yah Khan, the muslims in East Pakistan sought refuge in India. It was the Indian army who helped them to gain their freedom and establish a new nation "Bangladesh". Yet today Bangladeshis hate India more out of Jealously beacuse India continues its march for self reliance. Where do you think Mother Teresa received all the love and help in her missionary, its the Hindus and Bengalis of Calcutta and India, that has made her a household a name and a saint after the formalities are over. So shame on all those who keep playing the same broken record all over and over that speaks ill of India. I tell you Indians are not bothered with such statements from uneducated tourists particularly the West and some third world European and other Western countries. Indians will try to pursue the best part of the Western world and discard which is rotten. Do not think that just because you happen to be a foreign tourist you are swindled by taxi drivers, touts etc. I tell you as a well dresed Indian tourist I too have to face such nuisance, but thats part of tourism. If you can speak local language the prices automatically tumbles down at local rates. I am a Bengali and if I visit south India, and if I do not speak their local language, I'll have to face the same problem of being overcharged, taken to shops to buy thngs so that that they get a commission. Try to understand it is their livelihood, so they will pester you. But mind you the charges are never too exorbidant. Infact if you try to book a car from the hotel you might be overcharged in the form of service charge and taxes levied by good hotels. So as tourists do not complain and make comparisons. Try to enjoy as much of India, you will begin to love the place I tell you guys.