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Published: April 18th 2018
"Travel is the only thing you buy that makes you richer"
Destinations conjure up a myriad of fascinating thoughts. Enchanting, exciting and exhilarating places and countries. Mystery, and often the great unknown. But all destinations have one common denominator and that is one has to travel there by some mode. A few centuries ago the journey would have been undertaken by ship and on departure to wherever, it was a given that it would take “weeks” or possibly “months”. If you got to your destination you were generally a lucky sod in the knowledge that the ship hadn’t ended up on the bottom of some remote ocean.
Today we are spoilt for choice and air travel puts us within reach of all corners of the globe in next to no time. It’s convenient, comfortable and supposedly “seamless”. But, is it the doddle it’s made out to be?
On the face of it air travel should be dead easy and incredibly relaxing and pleasant.
Thinking it through, the steps are reasonably straight forward. Buy your ticket, pitch up at the right airport on the right day. Check in, wait a bit, board your flight and then relax as you recline in a metal tube that streaks across the sky and delivers you hours later to your destination.
Reality is a little different and some interesting curved balls are encountered along this flight path.
An Irish airline company, Ryanair, a good few years ago decided to “reinvent” the flying experience by introducing incredibly low fares to their range of destinations. You were able to purchase a ticket for next to nothing and just when you thought you had scooped the deal of the century, reality kicked in. Ryanair then emptied your wallet by adding charges for your seat on the plane, your baggage, hand baggage, food, drinks and probably a carbon tax for simply breathing on board.
It took a while for the airline industry to realize what this Irish upstart company had in fact done and in a flash this “reinvention” became the mantra.
So, what’s the relevance may be the key question at this point? Well, I had ticked the first box by purchasing international tickets on SAA to get us to our chosen destination. Simple stuff! Then SAA started their subtle extortion game. Did I want to pre-select my seat? Absolutely, if I can secure the best seat in the house. Click, click and then empty the wallet of R1500 for this simple request. It didn’t end there. Two days before flight departure, SAA invited me to join in an auction for an upgrade to business class. Wow! Not for me.
South African Airways. A business model that continues to defy gravity. Long suffering tax payers have, I imagine, largely resigned themselves to the fact that there is absolutely no logic in keeping this hopelessly bankrupt airline flying. Consider the basic facts. A new CEO and Board is appointed just about every year and each team arrives with their “turnaround strategy”. Keep in mind that each of these CEO’S has zero airline industry experience (the current guy was CEO of MTN). The financials are so horrible that each year they choose not to publish them until compelled to do so by Parliament. And each year, tax payers, not Government, bails SAA out with a cash injection of roughly R5billion. Einstein’s definition of insanity sums this situation up perfectly “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results”.
So, purchasing an airline ticket has some interesting twists. Got the ticket, then proceed to OR Tambo airport. On arrival at the check in queue, it is clear the “seamless” thing is a myth. Never mind that SAA has four check-in desks processing four international flights and a single queue. I kid you not! A thought crosses my mind. Maybe they have started downsizing to survive? Pandemonium as a frantic agent pulls people out of the queue who are waiting to check in for the London flight which is clearly getting ready to charge down the runway. Eventually with boarding pass in hand one proceeds to Passport Control. Keep in mind this is early evening and the absolute busiest time for international flights out of Johannesburg. Again, never mind that only 6 out of 15 Passport Control stations are actually manned. Pandemonium as the queue extends as far as the eye can see. The Passport Control guys reaction? Complete disinterest. Foreigners darting about desperately trying to get through and avoid missing their flights. A good thirty minutes later the chaos is over and we enter the Departures Hall.
I find a Bureau de Change and decide to offload some surplus local currency for US Dollars. Well, never mind that they are generously selling US Dollars at R12.95 on a day when the official rate is about R12.00. And then they throw in the FICA thing and demand a proof of residence document, Really! Who the hell sets off overseas with utility documents in their travel folder?
And the point of all this you may ask? Irrefutable and compelling evidence that flying is peppered with challenging moments that will test the patience and nerve of many of the 8 million people who fly globally every single day.
If the airlines are paying any attention, then one has to ask the question. What are those marketing geeks at Ryanair and other innovative airlines dreaming up to get the “competitive edge” and thereby seduce their long suffering passengers to choose their product? I have some ideas for them. Develop a “utopia” flight which would involve a check in and Passport Control process guaranteed to last no longer than ten minutes. Immediate boarding and then the passenger has a choice of injections to be self administered and which sets one off into blissful slumberland. Forget the meals and other stuff. No airline will ever get this part right as the nuking process renders any food eaten at altitude tasteless and anaemic looking. And then you arrive at your destination refreshed and thankful that this “utopian” option was available. Sounds far fetched? Maybe not.
Somewhere along the search for a “ seamless” flying experience the thrill of travel has been sidelined.
It’s the destination that counts! In this case flight SA203 has an enthralling, exhilarating end destination.
New York! New York!
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Barrie Irons
non-member comment
Great Blogg
Loved the read as usual. The air ticket price advertised is merely an indication of the starting point! Have a great holiday.