To Hell and Back- A Venezuealan Nightmare

yeah, see...
...see, NOW I'm gonna kick your ass for you. :) Here's me, in Chi, thinking you're safely in L.A. til YESTERDAY, and meanwhile you've been wacketed all over hell-and-f*ck-all. Ya butthead. So THAT was a travel nightmare for the record-books. You had to have ONE on this trip, right? And monster? Remember in college, the things we were gonna get for your key-ring, the thing that beeps so you can find them?? Might wanna get one of those for your ATM card. (And what kind of f*ckwad bank are you dealing with, anyway, that charges $75 to replace an ATM card???? Good lord, woman.) And even though it was a freakin' nightmare, keep this in mind: you paid $500 to find out it was benign instead of $5000. So you got your good news at a 90% discount. (Seriously, I am so happy to hear it's not serious. Because if I was gonna be down a monster? I would have REALLY kicked your ass--even if I had to fly to Venezuela on a broke-ass plane to do it.)

Oh my god!
Tana you are one strong woman, I think I would have just crawled into a ball and died! Don't worry about the money situation though, whenever I go travelling I never have as much money as I need (or want) and yet somehow things work out. It'll all be okay. And just think, you got through this nightmare everything else should be a breeze. Rob xoxo

Congrats
Hey sweety, I am so glad that you're fine. And you know, in those times when we are stripped down to nothing, we find that we have the biggest treasure inside that takes us exactly where we need to go!! Just take a look inside, honey, it's there for you!!! By the way, Patches wants to get on the computer right now and say "HI" (meow) Love ya!!!!

holy moly
Tana Tana, sheesh!! has anyone asked you for the film rights yet????? I say, enjoy the hell out of the rest of your trip and have fun telling your stories again and again!!! deb