The End

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I headed out in the morning to get a post-Inca Trail massage. Expecting some kind of deep tissue or sports massage, I was surprised that the women started dramatically throwing her hands up towards the sun and chasing "energy" out of my body. Apparently, it´s very much part of Indigenous culture, and was "a sign" of things to come. You can´t possibly travel without some kind of corresponding "inward journey" right?! Yah. Well here comes the compulsory self-indulgence, with an ample measure of watered down attempts at profundity. What a treat for you all!

For better or worse, my urge to travel, experience and understand the world doesn´t stop at Earth, and gets me into ridiculous situations. I'm incapable of going to another country without stumbling across some kind of mad mystic, so when I walked past a sign saying "Shaman Centre", the moth went to the flame. I've already been scared to death by two men I met in different areas of India who somehow knew details about my life and told me about my future as they see it (the same future... oooh!) Sounds cliche I know, but when it actually happens to you it's hard not to to think (a) "maybe there's something to this stuff after all" and (b) "I am SUCH a mug!" The rational side of my brain doesn´t like to be out of control, and finds a scientific explanation of how these guys knew stuff about me, or predicted future events. I mean Derren Brown typed stuff, like the power of suggestion. But the illogical side really wants to believe that something more intelligent than us dithering humans is pressing on some system-control buttons in the sky; and that the world is a warm, fuzzy place with rhyme and reason.

Anyway, I´ve heard of Shamanism before but don´t know much at all, so went into the place to have a browse and figure out what it was. A guy said hello though, and asked me to sit down, explaining that his school of thought is Septronism which, in traditional Native American style, focuses on the laws of nature, and ultimately thinks all religions can be equally good or bad. This sounded non-mental to me, but then he swiftly asked me if I minded sitting still and relaxing for a minute, because he wanted to "contact my soul". This guy was called Kush, but let´s call him F for short. F for Freak.

R: "What?!"

He raised his eyebrows and smirked.

R: "So I just have to sit here, I won´t feel anything"

F: "Yes, I´m just going to talk to you, but in a different way"

R: "Errr ok. But stop if I don´t like it."

After a few minutes:

F: "You have a warm view of the world and the people in it, but deep down you feel confused and anxious, and sometimes a bit sad and lost"

R: "Ummmmmmm"

F: "You don´t know what death is"

R: "What?!"

F: "You don´t know what death is. You don´t know if there´s an afterlife. It´s a question you´ve been faced with a lot. Especially recently, you´ve experienced a lot of death."

R: "No one knows if there´s an afterlife. And I haven´t experienced that much in comparison to lots of my friends."

He looked at me to go on.

R: "In the last few years, 3 good friends have had really tragic, untimely losses. I just had four old, ill people die close together this year."

F: "What happens to your friends will affect you to, and when you experience loss or fear of loss yourself, you want to believe in something. Are you a Christian Rosalyn? Because you´ve got to have faith."

This cannot be happening. The wise man is channeling George Michael! God, if you're out there; please, please tell this guy to start dancing around to 'Faith'!

R: "I don´t like religion, at least not for myself. Really they´re all the same. I think it should come from the individual and what life tells them to believe, rather than out of a book."

F: "You´re too open minded, so you see everything as equally good and bad and can´t make decisions for yourself."

Pause...

F: "You don´t know what life is"

R: "What?!"

F: "What do you think your life means?"

R: "Not a lot"

He gave me a little smile

F: "When you know what your life is for, you won´t be worried about death or pressure yourself into trying to experience everything. You´ll be able to pick your path without feeling anxious that you´re chosing wrong, or missing out on something else. You´ll be able to committ to what you want and what you believe. Yes, this is what you need to do, you need to know what is life."

What helpful, specific and practical advice! Although, hmmm, it might just be a little inciteful...

He then grabbed three books and a pile of numbers, asking me to pick one. I rifled through, wondering how I was meant to know what number to pick, grabbed number 2 and (literally) threw it at him, before starting to doubt if it was the one I really wanted to pick. He opened the book at the second passage: "La Deçision", and started translating the bits he thought were relevent to me; about committing to decisions and following through, knowing what you want and being free from doubt. In the second book I got "Compromiso" which translates to ´committment´ (although for me committment often feels like a compromise!) The third was about humans being born with hands that want to grab everything from the world, even though we all know we´ll die with empty hands.

He chuckled to himself smugly about how relevent all of my choices were. I wondered if anything could be irrelevent to someone who´s just been diagnosed with "not knowing what life is"! He asked me to go to a "healing session" with them the next day, handing me a leaflet. I got up quickly, nodding agreeably while thinking "no chance, freakshow"; and shoved a couple of quid in the donation box on my way out.

The next morning I woke up, went to the bathroom to brush my teeth, wondering why my right eye wouldn´t open, and discovered that the Inca Trail had also induced a humongous spot just above my eyelid. Traumatic visions of returning home looking like a monster took over; so, proving that I really am incapable of sticking to a decision, notions of a free facial motivated me to pursue enlightenment. Deep. I had nothing better to do, and anyway, if Dawn Porter can do this stuff, why can´t I?!

Before long, I was in a truck with Freak (let´s call him Kush now), a Canadian girl, two Peruvian men and two girls living in Spain. The "sweat lodge" is essentially a hole in the ground covered over. In the middle sit local hot rocks with a few herbs and spices scattered over the top, eucalyptus leaves are scattered all over the floor and everyone (obviously) sits in a circle in their t-shirts and shorts. After Kush (obviously) treated us to some suspect singing, it all felt fairly normal. The conversation (obviously) went straight to the big stuff. There was a lot of chat about Karma and different energy frequencies attracting or repelling to create your life course. I thought this sounded very Indian, but was interestingly told that the actual Indians as well as the Native Americans came to the same conclusions from different continents.

Kush boiled the stock answers down to:

Don´t fear, you only fear what you misunderstand.

Don´t misunderstand, this is what causes anger.

Don´t be angry; always have compassion (i.e. accurate understanding) both for yourself and for others.

Sounds familiar, simple and impossible. Although, to be fair, Kush admitted that religion (or faith, or morality, or the principles of how to be happy, or whatever) are never difficult to understand, it´s just difficult to do.

And that was it! Not too freaky or life-altering. Plus Kush's wife and little girl greeted us with free lunch! Bonus!

In the interests of coming back to life and committing to stuff, I caught the bus to my last destination (Lima) to interview Save the Children´s Director of Peru in the morning, as she had very kindly replied to my email. She explained all that Save the Children do in Peru, which mostly comes down to trying to lessen the disadvantage facing Indigenous people (that´s 45% of the population), particularly those who speak the native language (Quechua) in their homes and Spanish at school. The Post-Colonial government still doesn´t think in terms of trying to understand the barriers these people might face, instead depicting them as backwards, ignorant and difficult.

Lima doesn´t seem like the most exciting city in the world, and I have a problem with the lack of christmas songs that this continent has to offer. It´s December 15th and I still haven´t heard The Pogues! That must mean it´s time to go home. A taxi is about to take me to the airport, before my much anticipated stopover at Miami and arrival home to familiar, lovely faces. This place is amazing and I´ve loved every second; but I guess now it´s time to go home, find a job, grow up, settle down, breed, go on a few holidays to Cornwall and then die. Maybe I´m ok with that now...!

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Photos

Popular (with some) cartoon in Bolivia and Peru
Translation: "Get back you did fuck all"

The Christmas decorations are going up in Cusco
Christmas isn´t such a big deal here. Although most people take hot chocolate up to poor children who live in the mountains. Sweet!