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Published: March 30th 2009
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Emily and the Blokes
"You really want to make him jealous?" “I learned my lesson with Australian men,” said Emily, referring to her fling in Japan.
When Xavier, Ryan, Ben and Cameron arrived at the SAS office, she knew they were rowdy. Xavier had just lost his credit card; Ryan already lost two of those in the month they’d been traveling.
All four of them were hungover.
“It’s good to have a sobering experience for once on this travel,” said Xavier. “We’ve been pissed this whole trip, pretty much.”
They’re all characters: Ryan is the wittiest, Xavier is close behind him yet easier to pick on (the short one), Cameron is the tall, quiet one and Ben is the most responsible with a Government job back in Melbourne.
On the trek, they stick together: four best friends in their mid-twenties seeing the world together. Xavier and Ryan quit their jobs to do this. Ryan had been working in London for a year and a half and missed his friends. He also wanted adventure.
“After all that time in London I reckon I can’t remember much of what I did,” he said. “Must’ve been bored.”
The four blokes are the types of friends you know you have, wish you had or are dying to see again.
After the trek, the four blokes go white water rafting. Level 5, I might add. All but Ben, that is. He’s staying in Cusco where Evelyn is going to meet up with him for a shag or two.
“Women are always better on holiday,” he said during a break on the trek while putting on his poncho.
After loads of valium, cigarettes, booze, booze, coke and I’m not even sure of, the four blokes were tenacious on the trail, usually finishing the hikes behind “Holland” and “Mexico” for the lead. And, for them, this is just one bump on the long world tour. Nice choice, mates. These hardcore Aussies also looked at the journey as a way to detox from the previous travels.
“This is the healthiest thing we’ve done in a bit,” said Xavier.
More than anything else, it is their humor that keeps them going strong—their friendly bashes like Ryan’s to Cameron: “If we run into head-shrinkers on this trek, I reckon Cameron will look normal.”
And the teasing that ensued when we passed a swamp: “Hey, Ryan, I reckon that’s where your mother lives,” joked Xavier.
“She’s Shrekkin’ it,” added Ben.
Playing “Asshole” with them at Winaywayna made me realize even more how tight their friendships were and how accepting they are to bring another into their circle. Not only were we similar in age, but we shared the humor of impersonating Arnold and joking about the G.I. Joe parody public service announcements (
).
“Give him the stick! Don’t give him the stick!” yelled Xavier, bringing me back to the dorm days at IU.
At Machu Picchu, the four blokes were like celebrities. When we reached Intihuatana the Peruvian girls treated them like stars: Ryan with his “Brokeback Mountain” cowboy hat, Bald Ben, tall and dark Cameron and the short, blond, rugged Xavier. Gringos almighty. One by one, teenage Peruvian girls jumped into the photos with smiles and giggles. The blokes were stunned, but they enjoyed every snap.
“I feel a little violated,” said Ryan. “They took advantage of us.”
Emily, wanting to make her boyfriend jealous, joined in on it.
“You really want to make your boyfriend jealous?” said Ben. “We’ll hold you up!”
That’s just what they did.
She laughed nervously and awkwardly. I waited a little while before snapping to add to the awkwardness and the anticipation.
Surely when Jake sees the picture it’ll stir him up a bit, but he should know Emily is crazy about him. She wouldn’t do him wrong even in a wretched frame of mind. Luckily she’d learned her lesson about Australian men.
The four blokes are the type of friends you know you have, wish you had or are dying to see again. Personally, I think the Inca Trail experience is made for four good friends with nothing to lose and a passion for travel. Having these guys on the trip made it more fun, more entertaining and even more unforgettable.
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