Return of the throat testicle


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South America » Peru » Ayacucho » Ayacucho
March 28th 2010
Published: March 28th 2010
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Yes, thats right people. The throat testicle aka my bloody fucker of a throat gland has returned. I have been bed-bound for 3 days feeling miserable for myself and wanting to come home. But Im over it! Thankfully I wise enough to predict such happenings before I left for Peru so had some penicillin. Gradually its going down and I am feeling like my old self again. What is it though about being ill, and wanting to be at home? Lying in a camp bed saturated with my own sweat whilst trying to keep myself cool with a wet vest top I pondered this. I think its because of the sympathy thing. Family members are obliged by blood to care. Frenchies you just meet just arent.
I am slowly picking up Spanish...very slowly...I found a book entitled something along the lines of The Heretics Crash Course in Getting By in Spanish, which appeals to my frame of mind. I dont want perfect grammar I just want to be understood. Some other poor english soul had obviously left it behind at the casa for another lazy cretin like myself who had failed to learn the language before arriving. I am thankfully to this anonymous saviour. So yeah...I learnt for some unknown reason there are two ways to say ´to be´in spanish...just to confuse me further they are both irregular verbs and conjugate into fucking wierd formations. And just as I finally understood, just as my brain accepted that THIS IS THE CASE, the book informs me HOWEVER you do not say I am hungry, in spanish. No you say I have hunger. You do not say I am cold, you say I have cold. I mean what kind of a retarded language....So I had to learn a whole other bloody verb........The frenchies pick up Spanish way faster than others, cos their stupid language is based on the same stupid rules. Masculine and feminine my rectum. Its a FUCKING CHAIR. A CHAIR. It has neither penis nor vagina.
Anyway I digress, on Friday we went into the centre of Ayacucho for the Easter procession which was amazing. I had just started to feel better. I made it until 11pm and then had to go home. Easter, well Good Friday is a big deal here...I assume it was Good Friday...I have literally lost all sense of time since being here.....It was candle lit, and there was a brass brand...if anyone has seen The Godfather Part 2, when Robert De Niro as the Young Don Corleone is following Don Fannucci along the roof tops...well it was exactly like that....If any of you havent seen the Godfather part 2, get a life, now. Better yet get yourself down to Blockbuster pronto.


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29th March 2010

Hey Lorna, I really enjoyed your Peru post. It reminded me of my time there. My blog is looking for some good travel photos, articles, and reviews. If you have the time, check us out at dirty-hippies.blogspot.com Continued fun on your travels, Eric
29th March 2010

I feel for you.
Yes, there are indeed two verbs for 'to be' in Spanish, and to say "I am English" it's "soy inglese". Not the other one. And be sure to say "I have hot" (tengo something or another) and not I am hot (soy something or another) because, if it's anything like French/German/other languages, you'll be telling people you're horny/frigid (for cold). Think I'm going to Canada next week. Woo! xxx
30th March 2010

.......
Oh the lump thoaticle of doom!! Ma cherie I'm pleased to hear you're nearly over it. And Easter is next weekend, in this country anyway (I do NOT get EASTER, why does it move? Stupid). I hope you're having bucket loads of fun! Chris keeps trying to talk to me about the rail replacement bus vs number 30 scenario which is obviously playing heavily on his mind, and it's all I can do to refrain from bludgening him to death with a tea cup. xxxx
31st March 2010

Glad you got there
HI Glad you arrived, sad to hear about the throat testicle, it would be pronounced as male in spanish. Comments made Arthur laugh, who is also suffering from a throat testicle

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