Emotional Day

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Principal, Ecuador
I could not sleep all night because of the pig, and we did not buy it today because its been raining all day.
I was also dreaming of our future house in NY. What am I going to do? If it is less than a year for Jose to return I will wait in U.S. If it is more than a year, I will return to Ecuador. I am very excited or anxious, hopeful, etc. for our future. I imagine a house with a lot of land. Having a swimming pool, chickens, pigs, and cuys. I see the inside of the house full of sunlight, music, and laughter. I see a garden where we grow vegetables. Finally, beginning our life together in a more permanent way.
Part of me wants to stay in NY. Apply for Jose, and then work to get the house ready for him. The other part of me knows that I will be very lonely and will want to fly to Ecuador, but because of the responsibilities of rent, bills, work, etc. Will not be able to. So, I will wait and see what the lawyer says.
It is less than one month until I leave and I am becoming emotional. I don't want to leave.
I was reading La Biblia all day.
Jose has been very emotional today because he hates it in Ecuador and he wants to go back to the U.S. He is scared though that he will never be able to go back and he keeps thinking what will he do in Ecuador. He thinks he will go to college. I told him to be happy because things could be a lot worse. At least we are together, he has family, at least he doesn't live in Iraq where there is a war going on, he lives in a beautiful country where everyone is friendly and happy.
Nothing I said consoled him and we cried and cried and cried together until Jose fell asleep. I hope he is okay when he wakes up. I feel better now and I hope he does too. Usually we are in good moods and laughing, but we are just emotional today, maybe its the rain.
Later:
I'm crying again now because I just went over to Jose's moms and she offered me a dinner of PIGEON, rice, and plantain. I said sorry I can not eat that. Everyone is mad at me, I guess I offended them. I just left and am not going to eat anything. Jose said his mom was freaking out that I wasn't going to eat anything for dinner. I wish there was a restaurant in this town!
It is times like these when I am homesick. Jose came over to check on me and he told me he is putting his pigeon in the garbage because it is disgusting. I said I wasn't going back over there, but he said if I did he would cook me something good. So, I went over and Jose cooked some tomatoes and put it over rice. And I ate.

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Photos

Dinner?
I think not.