Fried Green Fairies

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After Cuzco...we travelled past the Nazca lines. Unfortunately my budget didn't extend to a fly over..how ever I did climb up a tower for 20 pence and have a quick look. Couldn't really see much..but fascinating none the less! We drove through a couple of towns on our way to Lima. saw plenty of Mummies and graves...really really interesting! There is a frozen corpse in Arequipa of a young Inca girl who was a sacrifice for the volcano. It was something special to see. The artifacts that they had preserved in the museum were also intriguing. It was another huge party in Arequipa which ended with Jess and I at a club..Jess on a couch falling asleep..and me with my coat in my hand for 3 hours trying to leave. eventually I woke the sleeping grizzly up..before her snoring woke her up and made our merry way home. It was munchies time..so we stopped off for Jess where I did what I thought was a lovely gesture by ordering her a chicken burger..which was lovely by the way..however the mutt actually wanted a hot dog. I don't think she´s yet to forgive me. so we ventured to another vendor to get me a beef burger which looked suspiciously like a llama guinea pig burger. At this point Jess decided that actually beef was not part of her vegetarian diet and tried to launch herself at my burger. Luckily I have reflexes of a cat..and fended off her advances! We now had to go find her a hot dog..luckily the streets are awash with ladies willing to sell us their dog meat at very affordable prices. Its an adrenaline junkies heaven eating on the street..the risk of it all..will you be spilling your guts the next morning or not?! Long story short..we got her a hot dog and made it home unharmed!

I'm skipping heaps here..as these things are too long! I would never bother reading them (I suspect that most of you don't)! So after surviving Arequipa..we made our way into the desert for final goodbyes and final parties! Oh how I love parties! The desert was sooo much fun. We all clambered into dune buggies for a thrilling ride! When you go over some of the dunes..you cant see where you are going, so you literally feel like you are about to head off the edge of a ´cliff´! well fun! Jess and I screamed like babies! Loved it! We stopped off at various dunes where we could hop onto a sand board and head down the dunes. I tried and tried to do it standing..but i mostly just fell off..rolled down the hill a little..got sand in every crevice..and basically looked like an idiot! I was pleased to reach the end..where a lovely lady handed us some pisco sours in the cutest little cups you ever did see! They were like shot glasses..and thus should be treated as such! I managed to be triple parked with the little guys..but somehow managed to rope Jess into holding one for me as well (such a giver)! We all sat around the camp fire in the desert, talking shit and generally getting as drunk as possible! I managed to fall off my chair numerous times until eventually I just didn't bother getting up. Jess and Kate buried my feet for me and I lay there in a semi comatose state..before Jess found me in a heap..burrowing at the sand..trying to hide the evidence that I had clearly drank far too much! (I still blame the cute little cups)! Jess managed to pick up the wreck that was her friend and drag me up the dune a little..where I could have some ´special time´. I tried to persuade her to leave me alone..however I was in severe danger of passing out somewhere in the dark by myself. Next thing I knew..i awoke under a truck in my sleeping bag and on my sleeping mat! very confusing!! this is the only time I will be nice to Jess..and actually say that she fulfilled the role of care taker superbly..holding my hair back..then tying it up..which to my dismay was a little on the high side (I wasn't really in any position to argue though)!! We all awoke the next day a little worse for wear..some more than others!

From there it was straight into Lima where we were to begin our solo journey. We were looked after by some of Jess´s connections..they were great. Even the uncle at the rooster fighting whom took a real shine to Jess! My protective side came out..and its normally against my sweet nature to drop kick an old man..however he was crossing some boundaries! Luckily the rooster fighting..and the clear death of one of the roosters (Jess..his insides were splattered over the table)..and the addition of chicken on the menu..we managed to enjoy most of the evening Barr the odd molestation.

We managed to hitch a ride with the tour bus to Quito..(not quite willing to part with our own personal tour guide and Spanish translators)..we thought..hey..never been there..why not check it out! We stopped off at a lovely resort called Mancora..which was party town. We got excited about doing some surfing..however the water was like glass..didn't matter though.it was just great to be lying down on sandy beach..having beer brought to us..and warm water to dip into! We had a couple of big nights..the hangovers were not pleasant! Jess and I managed to not stone to death the local bungies (hippie traveller folk who ruined a pleasant evening with their own little rendition of stomp! why must they bang their drums! Amongst the bungies was a crazy git trying desperately to juggle..man it was funny...she should just stick to bungie things..like smoking weed and not changing her clothes)! We decided to have a huge night before we caught the truck into Quito..not such a bright idea again..the hangover was not good! (Again..for any of you whom thought that Jess and I were here to experience the culture of the local south American countries..well..we are..just mostly with a huge amount of pisco sours in us...)! The drive was long...a long time to be hung over and stuck in a bus! Once we arrived..there was no room nor manger for us to stay..so we scored another free night sleeping in the truck. I normally don't mind..however we were all treated to the symphonic snores of the Farley... (she woke herself up with one particularly loud snort)..in unison with the new bus driver spewing his guts out! Lovely!! I was most pleased when Jess and I were shown to the Matrimonial sweet..many an hour were passed lying down watching satellite TV! Yeah..go around the world and end up doing the same thing as back home..hey..don't judge us! Its hard work out here!

So yeah..finally we were sent on our way..no translator..and no guide! What were we to do! It was great..we managed to catch a bus all by ourselves! We managed to sit at the front..parallel to the door..without any seat belts..and for me..nothing to stop me from making my merry way out the bus when our ..I´m sure very competent (whatever) driver slammed on the brakes! It was a surreal moment when cruising along the highway we overtook another bus with a man climbing on top of the bus adjusting the luggage..I shook my head and giggled..only in south America..and Africa for that matter. It was all good though..we made it to Banos..a sleepy town next to a very active Volcano..where we could find all the adventure sports we desired. we opted for one day of sleeping and eating (I tell you..bus rides can really take it out if you)! The next we went for a little cycle..the Jess was a brave mouse..did well! At the end we were treated with a short lecture from an American hippie..with the longest toenails in the world (I mock charged a little)..but hey..got to love the Free spirits that roam this world! And today (oh yes..I'm up to date) we went canyoning. it was great! No photos I'm afraid...the guides were a little preoccupied with their very own photo shoot..hey..we´re just the paying customer! It was brilliant though...I managed to jump off a rock..and narrowly miss it! Think Jess had a Little moment..as did I when i finally surfaced from the swirl of the waterfall..and perhaps a wee drop of water in my lungs! (yes..my daring..and stoic traits can get me into trouble sometimes)! I´m a donkey on the edge! The last 20m waterfall was great! Nothing below our feet..Jess had a giggle at me when my feet were dangling below me (was not expecting it at all)! Surviving this has given Jess the idea that maybe hurling ourselves off a bridge may not be such a bad idea...at this point I resist..however I have been known to give in to relentless persuasion!Depends how Charming the person is!


Right..I´m drawing the line..and this is it! I'm finished... however this is not as short as expected..apologies!!

again..love to most of you!

x x x

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