The Relational Level #1 - Family Dynamics

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Here we are, day five in Quito! Even though we’ve only been here less than a week, I’ve already learned and experienced so much about Ecuador and its people! Yesterday we went to the equator at Mitad del Mundo, which was definitely a highlight – we experienced the magnetic pull of the northern and southern hemispheres when we attempted to walk along the equator line and couldn’t move our feet forward in a straight line. We also got to experience the view at the top of the monument, which was breathtaking.

Along with these amazing highlights, I have also experienced some odd or even confusing moments that made me really question the similarities and differences in our cultural backgrounds. A few nights ago, my host mama and roommate Lauren and I went out to eat for lunch. About halfway through our meal, Lauren and I noticed what appeared to be a family seated at the table a few yards away directly in our line of sight – a father sitting by his daughter, and a mother directly across. Typical, right? Well, what captured our attention was the interaction between the father and daughter. They were seated very close to each other, and often she would rest her head against his shoulder. They would also kiss each other’s cheeks quite regularly. Once or twice we even saw him grab her butt. My American brain didn’t realize what was going on at first, and I tried to mold what I was witnessing into a way that would better fit my cultural background: I thought that perhaps she was just his younger wife. While a bit scandalous, this would have been more logical to me than a father feeling up his daughter in a public place. However, a quick glance revealed the father and mother holding hands, and both were wearing wedding rings. The daughter noticed me staring and made eye contact, as did the father. Neither of them looked ashamed, and after I glanced away in embarrassment, they continued on laughing and chatting and kissing. I felt sick to my stomach watching the father daughter interaction, and I couldn’t get it out of my mind as we continued our day walking around the streets.

That father daughter interaction was very different than any I’ve ever seen or probably will see back in the States. In America, our cultural background is so different than Ecuadorians in terms of family. Their family culture is very collective, while ours is very individualistic. According to Leading with Cultural Intelligence, individualism is the emphasis on individual goals and rights, while collectivism focuses more on group goals and personal relationships. Latin America falls into that category (Livermore 102). Therefore, it’s very common for fathers to be emotionally close with their daughters and to be very involved in their lives. Back in the states, fathers are involved in their daughters’ lives, but more at a distance. Since our culture focuses more on individuality, we are close with our families, but I’d say we’re not that close. We tend to sometimes keep feelings to ourselves instead of being open, and with the #MeToo movement sweeping across America, I can’t imagine any fathers feeling up their daughters in public places anytime soon. While this may just have been a random family doing their own thing, the interaction definitely got me thinking and questioning things about our opposing cultures. I hope to be challenged to think about our cultural norms more as we continue to explore Quito.

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Photos

Equator
Contrary to popular belief, you really can be in two places at one time.

Breathtaking View
The view from the monument located at the equator is gorgeous and shows miles of mountains.