I´m not a celebrity...but please get me out of here!

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So, after being bumped up to business class (or should I say Clase Exectivo...which quite honestly sounds so much grander!) on the San Jose to Quito flight (ha ha...just like in the movies: "I´m sorry the flight is full so I´m going to have to upgrade you"...wahooooo!), spending some very busy days in the coolest capital in the world (so far atleast) and a very messy game of ring of fire (I´m sure I spent the entire game with my nose on the table....stupid rules!!!!), we headed off to start our volunteering in the jungle. Wow...long sentence!

We are living in a Shuar community (famed as fearless warriors who made shrunken heads of their enemies) somewhere between the towns of Puyo and Macas on the edge of the Amazon basin, near the Rio Pastaza (for all you geography buffs). When I say community, I really mean the extended family of Ernesto (the "Dad") who at present count has 23 children of various ages - the youngest is a few months old, oldest must be pushing 30. Poor wife I hear you thinking, but in actual fact he has 2 of them so they´ve shared the burden. The marriages aren´t legal so they can have as many of them as they like really. Basically the family all live in the same area, with the older kids living in separate houses with their "wives/husbands/kids". And this makes up the little community.

All the volunteers live together in our own little house. Bedrooms are upstairs (avec bat shit on your mossie net in the morning and a welcome visit from a tarantula on the first night), communal area downstairs (avec a collection of dead and live snakes courtesy of Dave who is currently compiling a species list of reptiles and amphibians in the region) and a little bathroom hut (with resident giant grasshopper "Lou") and kitchen hut where we eat all our meals. The community school is next door, and there is a tree nursery and vegetable garden near by (sustainable living and all that!) and a lovely muddy swamp behind the house.

As our work goes, it rains a lot, so we do a lot of sitting around talking...but this has meant we´ve learnt a lot about the local culture and customs and some rather interesting folklore. For example, one day two Shuar men were strolling along the jungle having a bit of a chat about the different animals. In the course of this information swapping, the one Shuar man informs the other of this one species of frog that has a very unique call...a "Car-car" kind of sound (if you have seen Road Trip, imagine Tom Green doing his bird calls). Apparantly should you come across this frog in the jungle, you should chop off your...erm...manhood as it will grow back bigger!! Not entirely sure of the logic of this but there we go. Anywho...I guess the two men go home, have some chicha (a Shuar alcoholic drink made by Shuar women chewing up and spitting out yuca - its actually very delicious...especially when served with peanuts) and do other Shuar things. A few days later the second man is once again walking through the jungle and hears the "Car-car" sound. Obviously, he cuts off his manhood in the hope it will grow back bigger (Men! They will believe anything!). However, instead of growing back bigger (there´s a suprise!), the aforementioned amputated item falls into the river and turns into an Anaconda. And so that is how anacondas came into existence. But wait....there´s more. Apparantly, women are not permitted to bathe naked in the river or at the waterfalls or springs for fear that the anaconda-penis will impregnate them with anaconda babies. Men however can be as naked as the day they were born (good job this isnt in Bristol eh?!). Looking forward to hearing some more of these gems before we leave!

We have done some work though...we´re now skilled in the arts of machete (I know...its a bloddy scary image...Kay avec a machete) which we have used to blaze trails in the rainforest, weed medicinal gardens and save trees from being swamped by stupid vegetation (our contribution to reforestation). We´ve also built a house for a baby armadillo, some benches for the volunteer house and an entire volleyball court for the kids. During our first week there was a fiesta in the next village, and as part of the community we got to join in the celebrations and take part in some parades (that was 2 days worth of work...we think they doubt that gringos have much stomach for hard work!). I have also learnt how to play poker, hopefully will be taught how to make chicha next week and have attempted to understand the difference in english-english and american/canadian-english of the words biscuit, cracker and cookie. No mean feat I can tell thee!

We escaped last weekend for a trip to a spa town, Baños. So nice to have a hot shower, food that wasnt rice, yuca or banana, and to wake up at the butt crack of dawn to enjoy the sacred waters at the local baths, watching the sun rise over the most amazing backdrop of mountains.

Right....been on the internet for a good 3 hours and 40 minutes...my eyes are starting to go wonky and I´m starving! On the hunt for pizza and some cold beers now as we decided to take the 1.5 hour long bus journey to the nearest town to use the internet today (saturday) as eveyone else has left for the weekend.

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