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Published: June 17th 2008
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Baracuda and I
Turns out I'm an amazing fisherman. Last weekend we went to Barranquilla to bid farewell to the saintly Chris Davies. He will be missed, and not just by the under aged underprivileged youth of the BQ. Saturday I went to pick up the esteemed Timothy Healy from the airport, I was of course late (transportation strike or something) and had failed to give Tim any information such as local address, phone number, etc. This gave him ample time to stew over the possibility that he had flown into the wrong airport. I left my cell phone on the bus, making it like #8 I’ve lost in my time here or something equally ridiculous. Sunday we got up early and went fishing on the boat of one of the families from the school. Something went terribly awesomely wrong and we ended up on the yachts of the richest* families in the city hobnobbing with the influential.** I did catch a fish (see photo) which we then had to beat to death in the boat with a little bat specifically designed for beating fish to death or gangsters if you are a curly headed Sean Penn.*** We ended up hauling in 8 or 9 fish, the barracuda, a few
albacore tuna and some dolphin fish. Before being impressed, it was trolling fishing meaning you have fishing rods hanging off the side of the boat and when something catches it you reel it in. I hear there can be a fight involved but there certainly wasn’t with mine. So while they say I caught the fish, really the boat caught the fish and it was my turn to reel it in. Other highlights of the week include the school year ending, some beach, a little Minca, and further exploitation of a belief system that holds my skin tone and light eyes in higher regard than others. Adam Kostecki makes the best popcorn I’ve ever tasted. I’ve decided in an effort to better the lot of the poor, downtrodden, marginalized of the city I should start teaching them phrases in English that will actually attract gringos who they are peddling their wares to. I could teach them, “good restaurant, delicious food” but it’s pretty apparent that they are trying to corral you into a restaurant so I think I’d go with something guaranteed to get at least a smile such as “Do you like mustache?” “The cooks wash their hands” “You
Having a beer at the police station
They look like army men but that's just how the cops dress here. won’t die of dysentery like on Oregon Trail” or random movie quotes unrelated to anything. Just something to know I’m helping out the little guy. Having Tim in was awesome, although I maybe wasn’t the best host in the world he did get the opportunity to see how the majority of the world lives, which is not well, and I think that’s the most important part of traveling abroad and why Europe kind of doesn’t count. Giant V’s of Pelicans frequently buzz the tower (fly past my balcony) at a proximity that is unacceptable to Tom Skerrit but really awesome to me. It’s truly an amazing thing to witness and I’m blessed enough to witness it a few times a day. Funniest invented word answer on one of my final tests. “I didn’t bork it.” I don’t know what bork means, but it sounds hilarious. Maybe it means to sweep the leg. I don’t bork the elderly unless they get lippy. Thank everything that is holy I’m leaving on a trip I’m excited about because if not all the waiting in line yesterday in various temples to inefficiency might have killed me. I remain optimistically undaunted by the experience. I
Playa Blanca
This is about as active as we got at the beach that day. The chair in front of Tim is where the lady sat to give him a foot massage. do need to get out of this town for a bit though. I realize that taking a vacation isn’t going to turn an ass into a horse but hopefully I’ll be better able to focus on the horse-like features of my ass of a town. It’s the expectation of competence that gets me in trouble so it’s my own fault really. The Colombians in line don’t have that expectation and don’t get angry when faced with its absence. Tim on the way home stole a Colombian police officer hat and was on the plane with Carlos Valderrama (world famous soccer player). I’m leaving from Bogota today, I’ll try and write on the road but we’ll see.
Traveling Music: Old Crow Medicine show, kind of old style folk, by some traveling troubadours.
Traveling Books: Other than the guide book I’m bringing Moby Dick and Darkness at Noon.
Traveling Movies: I have Rome season one, some office episodes, and the FOTC movie.
Traveler’s Diarrhea: Defined as three or more unformed stools in 24 hours, commonly accompanied by abdominal cramps, nausea, and bloating.
Getting lost for a while,
~ T
A good traveler has no fixed plans,
Our Superhero Team
Erin (Adam's HS prom date) aka Patch, Tim aka Beard, Jors aka Bulge, Gail (not really part of the team) Me aka Neck Hair, Adam aka The Sleeper. and is not intent on arriving. ~ Lao Tzu
You don’t call retarded people retards. It’s bad taste. You call your friends retards… when they’re acting retarded. ~ The Office.
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness. ~ Mark Twain
*All clean money I’m sure
** Related to crooked public officials
*** Carlito’s Way reference.****
**** Carlito is incidentally the name of the comic strip Peanuts here in Colombia.*****
*****The footnote within a footnote format has been kindly plagerized by OTLeage.
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Pfunk
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kids say the darndest things
So here I am in the good old midwest, which according to the mormons is where good ol Joe and Mary lived back in biblical times. Silly old testament. It's been unbearably hot only a couple of times. In my karate summer camp one 10 year old told a 4 year old he was gonna "freakin kill you". Good times. Tomorrow me and the Mrs. are gonna get down with a bottle of Tennessee Jack, drop the little rugrats into a bit with a wild grizzley bear, a knife, and ladder that only one man can use. 10 children enter, maybe one leaves. Darwin would be proud I think. I find myself thinking more about the ol hockey days recently. I heart hockey. I told my wife that if I saw red helmet fuck walking an old lady across the street, I'd run him and the old lady down. She was mildly distrubed(read-restraining order and living at her mother's). If you haven't seen Kung Fu Panda, please do. Much like Muppet's in Space, I will go see this in a theater by myself. I am currently creating my own "self defense moves" for my 4th degree black belt. Like Al, I fully expect you all to refer to me by my official title at that time. Master McDaniel. You could use Master Kenobi if you like. My moves I like to view a little bit more like assualt rather than defense. I plan on testing them out at the next star trek convention. I'm planning on naming one "Joel of Doom". It's like I get 45 of my very own fatality moves. Lemme know if you want anything more than a swift kick to the ribs and name calling in "Joel of Doom". I heart Joel and everyone that hearts him as well. I also heart WAM, just though that would be a good one to let you know 10 years after we were roomies.