Christmas in Chile

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Merry Christmas to everyone and best wishes for 2008.

Our first stop in Chile was San Pedro de Atacama, a sleepy tourist town whose mud brick buildings and dusty streets are crammed with craft shops, restaurants and bars. It is a good place just to kick back a bit and relax, as there isn´t much to do other than wander aimlessly, chill out in the sun with a glass of something cold or at night gaze at the stars in the sky (it is a great place to do this as the sky is very clear and there is practically no artificial light).

On our first night in San Pedro, we went out to the town's finest restaurant / only nightclub. The evening was enlivened by watching the arrival of several members of the group returning back to the campsite pissed on a number of bottles of Chile's finest. One guy borrowed a lighter as he didn´t have a torch and confidently strode off into the night to find his tent. We saw him half a minute later coming back in the opposite direction and then moments later we heard his tent buddy shout "put it out, don´t you know I´m scared of fire!", as he tried to get into the tent with the flame still alight. Another girl had significant difficulty locating the entrance to her sleeping bag before confidentally shouting out that she would sleep naked in the near freezing temperature - thankfully she has a patient and understanding tent buddy who helped her out.

My first day in San Pedro was a bit of a wash out as I spent 12 hours of it cooking, shopping and then cooking again for the group (we operate a team rota system and it is just luck of the draw as to how crap it is). Thankfully, no-one was left under any illusions about how much of a sacrifice it was for me to do - spending several hours in a shopping centre with women who have money to spend and shoes to buy. No guy should be made to do that whilst he´s on holiday AND isn't in a relationship.

The next morning, we had a 4am start to visit some local geysers. Most of the group assembled on time and in a reasonable state, apart from Jules who had been out with a number of the group in town, and then subsequently at a house party. Still pissed, we were treated to the unusual sight of Jules dressed in his Andean hat, scud (cross between a scarf and a hood), and sun glasses leaning against the wall mumbling incoherent sentences to it, which were meant for us but were unintelligable.

That night marked another shift in the group dynamics, as a couple of the guys got off with girls from one of the other tour groups that shadow us all the way around South America as far as Rio. Charmingly, this activity has been given the term "offshore drilling" by the group (which I think you´ll agree is an apt description), but as yet, I haven't put out to sea.

Anyway, the geysers themselves were worth the sacrifice of getting up early on a Sunday in the freezing cold. On the way there I managed to sleep through an earthquake that registered 6.7 on the Richter scale (look, I was tired!). The geysers are formed where trapped river water sits on top of a rock bed that is heated by lava beneath it and the resulting steam is forced upwards and out through small vents. Although smaller than similar geysers elsewhere in the world they were impressive enough. Afterwards, we stopped off for a dip in a natural thermal bath although the water was only just warm enough to prevent hyperthermia. We finished with a tour of the local wildlife (flamingos, llamas, wild rabbits) but we were so knackered we could barely raise our cameras to take the obligatory photos.

After chilling out in San Pedro for a couple of hours, we travelled in a bigger group to the valley of the moon to watch the sun set over the sand dunes and mountains (about our third "Valley of the Moon" tour so far this trip - if I ever go to the moon I´ll probably be severely dissappointed as I´ll have seen it already). Nonetheless, the valley was impressive, full of jagged rock formations and huge sand dunes that were jealously protected by the one security guard who rigorously enforced the no sliding down them rule. Jules and I finished the night by putting the world to rights (has anyone notice the difference since?) over a bottle of wine.

It is getting to the point on tour where I am having dangerous amounts of thinking time. No longer can I get away with pondering what my next meal, drink or activity will be but I'm starting to have to think about serious things like what I'm going to do with my life after this holiday. Naturally, I trying to put off this difficult conversation with myself for as long as possible...

The next day was a long travel day along straight, unforgiving roads through the Atacama desert, to La Serena, which is a coastal resort. I was invited to sit in the front of the truck to entertain Luke the driver and Jo the tour leader. Naturally, after 20 minutes of my company, Jo was fast asleep in the truck for the first time all tour, and Luke looked like he might give in at any moment. I was substituted at the next pee stop. The only interesting thing to come out of those couple of hours in terms of the journey was the highway signs. Clearly, the people of the road sign section of the Chilean highway agency are underemployed, as even on a 15 degree bend in the road there would be a massive warning sign informing us on the dangers ahead. I worry that Chilean drivers fresh to England would have nightmares about our roads.

La Serena struck me as being like many of the seaside resorts in Spain that were hastily developed for the package holiday tourist boom. A pleasant enough town and natural beach / harbour, it is now surrounded by high rise holiday homes and beach front appartments, whilst new bars and restaurants seem to be springing up everywhere. Wandering past all these developments leaves you a bit underwhelmed.

The highlight of my time strolling along the beach front were the Tsunami evacuation signs that directed beach goers along the nearest road in the opposite direction to the sea. It made me wonder whether Chile, as the most European of all the South American countries, has the same pedantic health and safety culture as we do in Britain, as surely most right minded people, if faced with the awful sight of 20m waves rushing towards them, would run in the opposite direction to the water along the most accessible route available without stopping for directions. Still, there are probably some American tourists who welcome the helpful advice on offer.

Apart from a quick look around town, we spent most of our time at the campsite or on the beach. The first night we stayed up late at the campsite, drinking red wine, discussing the merits of the imaginative terms contained in the Profanasorus, whilst precariously resting on a wobbly picnic table. At 3am, having realised we had been talking crap for hours, the other five members of my table got up at the same time, thereby tipping me onto the floor and the whole contents of the table on top of me. Thankfully, it wasn´t too embarrassing as there were only five witnesses and the whole group knew by breakfast the next day.

We finally managed, after several weeks of trying, to locate a rugby ball, which we threw around on the beach, as well as several unsuccessful attempts at frisbie. Jules and I ended up playing touch rugby against Tour Leader Jo and a girl called Kylie, who had an excellent knowledge of but very inconsistent application of the rules. I was punished for holding on the floor (the ball not the girls) and Jules was sent 10m back to avoid being offside (on a 8m length pitch), whilst Kylie and Jo threw the ball end to end, ignoring the forward pass rule. Naturally, Jules and I loved having two bikini-clad ladies jumping all over us... The other highlight of our time on the beach was observing our resident ginger passenger, Billy, put on his Carrot suncream and still go bright red by the end of the day.

Another relatively boring drive day into Santiago was made slightly more interesting as we passed through some of Chile's vineyards and listened to a specially compiled playlist for one of the guys, Pindy, who left the tour a couple of days later - it celebrated his repeated success with the local women, his drunken dancing and his well worn refrain that "it's not fair" in a drawn out Brummie accent.

It seemed to me that Santiago could be like one of the older American cities, as it is a modern, bustling city full of a shopping malls and congested roads / streets, with skyscrappers towering over old, historic buildings, and where people take refuge from it all in the city parks, shops and cafes. It was enjoyable to walk around with a number of main buildings either imported from Europe or based on European designs. Particular highlights included the park built on a mountain right in the city centre and the old central markets, originally designed and built in England.

Our first night we had a leaving do for seven of our group in a fancy restaurant (anywhere's fancy after we've cooked for 36 people on our camping stoves but this placed served meat dishes with chocolate!) in a suburb called Bellavista, which is full of quiet treelined boulevards, outdoor restaurants and cafes, and art galleries. Whilst I retired early, a number of people carried on till 7am in true South American party spirit.

We picked up another 8 people in Santiago giving us our full complement of 34 on the truck again and bringing some much needed fresh blood into the group - after 2 months on the road some tensions have (understandably) grown in the group. Ultimately, people need their own space, which is why the free days we get are so precious - it's possible just to pack a bag and leave everyone behind for the day.

So far my early impressions of Chile are very mixed. Whilst some of the scenery is stunning and we welcome the European comforts, it seems to have a lot less character than the other South American countries we have visited. I think the problem is that we haven't been exposed to much Chilean culture. The side we've seen so far is too familar to us - fast food, shopping malls, tourist towns etc. Or maybe I'm just much more shallow than all that and the problem is that the people aren't as beautiful as in Argentina (which is true).

Chile is also a lot more expensive that the other countries, as we are genuinely paying the same prices as back home. In fact, the Chileans seem to be more focused on money than the counterparts, despite the fact they have it. A couple of times people tried to scam me - the taxi driver pretending not to have change and a market holder agreeing a price with me then trying to short change me (fortunately I was paying attention), whilst the restaurants routinely add a 10% service charge, rather than leaving people to tip.

That said, I met some nice people whilst I was walking around. A couple of students trying to raise money to pay their university fees (or was this another scam?), chatted to me for a while describing the best places to go in Santiago and the must see sights. They were amazed at how limited my Spanish was once I described to them that Í've now been in South America for 2 months. I then tried to impress them with the few words I do know but that only seemed to make things look worse.

I ended my time in Santiago by finally taking Liz out on our date. Way back at the start of the tour (see Northern Peru blog), I had bet Liz that she could not successfully complete her one month long diet. Despite being proved convincingly right in said matter (I renamed it the "No chips diet", as it seemed to be the only thing she gave up), we still agreed to go out. We spent a pleasant evening drinking wine in the outdoor cafes in Barrio Brasil, a trendy quarter of Santiago. Returning home, we faked a passionate embrace for the benefit of Liz's long sufferring room mate, May.

The drive from Santiago to Pucon was nice despite the heat, as we stopped off to have lunch by a waterfall. Again, Chile showed it's commercial side as there was an entire holiday village built alongside it, which spoilt the experience somewhat. The rest of the journey was like travelling through an Alpine country with rolling grass fields, quaint villages and mountains.

You could mistake Pucon for a town in Switzerland or Austria, as it is full of wooden chalets and European cars, shops and restaurants. It is built next to a large lake with excellent views of the active and snow-covered Villarrica volcano. It is a picture postcard town but a bit souless. We spent our day and a half there just walking along the lake shore or chilling in town. We are also making the most of the long drawn out nights - the sun is setting at about half nine, allowing us to sit out drinking in t-shirts and shorts.

Christmas has crept up on us the tour - there has been no repetitive and spirit crushing Christmas music in the shops, the weather has been 25 degrees with bright blue skies for the past week and just generally we hardly know what day it is as we travel around.

Christmas Eve we had an informal party with some of the people on the other tours. That night I received possibly one of the best put-downs I´ve ever heard when Lizzie, one of the newbies, warned me that "that had better not be sarcasm", having let all of my other comments about her Liverpudlian upbringing go. Firstly, I was being sarcastic (big surprise there) but secondly, it left me wondering if I could hold a conversation for more than five minutes without being sarcastic, patronising or "funny". I didn't think so either.

Christmas day started with breakfast at the campside where we received our Secret Santa present. My Santa, Aussie Jo, had a customed made t-shirt for me printed in Santiago, which has Nkie emblazoned across it (to go with my fake 2 dollar flip flops that Í've been wearing since Quito). A very original and thoughtful present. I also received a 40 track Salsa CD, which could prove to be a Trojan Horse of a gift. I had bought my Secret Santa, Karen, an anti-frizz hair serum, as like all the women on the tour, she has been complaining about the state of her hair - really just because we don't always have access to showers for a few days... Tour Leader Jo also helped me to get her a top - this was possibly my best shopping experience with a women as it was done in 15 minutes, no trying anything on, no difficult questions about how she looked in any clothing, and no sitting around waiting for the world to end. The best gift of all though was reserved for Adam, our only American on tour. His Santa had got him some vasseline and rubber gloves to help him cope with those difficult border crossings!

We spent most of Christmas day at a place called Willie's ranch, about 30 minutes out of Pucon. The place is amazing - it has acres of grassy fields where we just lazed amount in the sun, either in the hammocks, sitting around drinking, playing games, or for the more energetic amongst us, there was horse-riding. Lunch consisted of lamb, pork and beef (whole animals practically) roasted over an outdoor fire followed by about five different desserts. All this was washed down by all the booze we had brought from the local supermarket the day before.

After several hours digesting our plentiful lunch, we had our Sports Day that I had been left in charge of co-organising. By all accounts (and I asked at least three people), it was a good success. However, we were slightly constrained by what we could do as everything we bought had to resemble a normal shop so we could get the money back from the Tour Company. Hence, we were using melons for shot puts. To be fair, when we went to the local El Tit supermarket, we looked a bit funny as we tried out the melons with our best shot put techniques as other people looked for bruising on the peaches.

The first event was an egg and spoon race (you would't think it would take 20 minutes to explain the rules to relatively intelligent people and get them lined up but it did), followed by a melon relay (passing it up and down a line of people). Next came the three-legged race, which my partner and I ended up hopping as the string we were using bit great chunks out of both our ankles.

The fourth event, the melon shot put, didn't go quite to plan. All the melons exploded on the first round of throwing leaving the male representative for each team with nothing to throw. We then improvised the discuss event for them, nearly all of them throwing it out of the five-a-side pitch we were using, thereby making measuring the distances a bit hard. It then descended into a free for all melon fight.

Once order had been restored, we moved on to the Queen Mother Grand National, a simple horse and jockey relay race but with a refreshment stop - slices of apples for the horses, Gin and Tonics for the jockeys (it's what she would have wanted, a day at the races with plenty of booze). We finished with an every man for himself dodgeball competition with water ballons where very few of us emerged without a good soaking (I think there were a few scores to settle). The winners were presented with a bottle of the cheapest sparkling white wine on offer, the losers received nothing (why reward failure?).

What was particularly memorable about the sports day was that we have such a competitive group of people, as the first instinct seemed to be how to cheat or gain an advantage. Nearly all the results were contested and every loop hole exploited. I think this is the kind of spirit we need to foster in school sports days if we are going to be a great sporting nation again - forget everyone's a winner, let's just win at all costs!

As the sun started to draw in we finished the day with a game of five-a-side and later touch rugby, which unfortunately has left about 5 guys with knee problems and Willie's ranch missing about ten planks of wood from his fence. After that, we finished the night playing dice and drinking in front of a massive log fire. All in all, it was a very good Christmas day.

Finally, I thought I would end with a quick summary of some of the interesting products we can buy in South America. Our favourites are Fanny (tuna), Kuntsmann (beer), Bimbo (bread), Fuchs (bread) and Lays (crisps), all of which I´m sure can be bought from El Tit supermarket. Still, my all time favourite foreign product remains the Czech energy drink Erektus (surely a merger with Viagra would be the business deal of 2008?).

A happy new year to you all. Take care. Matthew

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