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Published: August 25th 2007
We had one last day in San Pedro before heading south to La Serena. As the weather was hot we went looking for a pool. The only place we found that would have us, was a rather posh hotel. And they only let us use their facilities if we spent at least 7 pound each. So Gemma spent the afternoon drinking wine, sunbathing by the pool with the girls. As Tom was the only bloke in the group and didn’t think much of the ‘bikini wax chat’, he spent 3 hours sitting in the Jacuzzi (the pool was so cold when you jumped in it made your body jolt) drinking beers. A merry afternoon was had by all.
San Pedro was a strange little town. Walking around it felt like being in a western. The roads and buildings are a reddish brown from the mud and none of the buildings seemed more than one storey tall. If aliens were to land here they’d probably think dogs ruled the earth as gangs of wild canine strut around the city like they own it. People drive around them if they’re lying in the road and if a car gets too close, 4
or 5 dogs will chase it, barking madly.
In fact most of the dogs in Chile are a little loco. In only a week we’ve seen three dogs trying to get it ‘on’ at once, two dogs getting it ‘on’ in the middle lane of a busy three lane motorway, another dog chasing cars on the same motorway and dogs of such contrasting sizes, that they really shouldn’t be trying to get it ‘on’ in the first place. We’ve seen enough dogs shagging to last us a lifetime.
La Serena is a beach resort half way down Chile’s coast and an 18 hour overnight coach ride from San Pedro. Whilst asleep on the coach, both Tom and Gemma had a dream about McD’s. Tom’s dream was very specific about McD’s being located in a large shopping centre while Gemma blamed hers on the malaria tablets that had caused her nightmares before. The next day when looking for the beach, which apparently was only a twenty minute walk from the hotel (if your names roadrunner and the only two words you can say are ‘beep beep’), we came across a very large American style shopping centre. Much to Gemma’s
Gem and Nick
at Concha Y Toro(and Tom’s delight) they had a McD’s. You can guess what happened next!!!
We had an evening out in La Serena and were fortunate enough to meet the local mentalist, who we thought was friendly at first but got scarier as the evening went on. Luckily a local got rid of him for us. Outside the tourist trap of San Pedro, beers and wine were a lot cheaper so we made the most of it. We spent one afternoon in a Japanese Garden (which is a beautiful little oasis in the middle of the city) with a couple of people from our GAP group. The other visitors were fortunate enough to come across 5 sozzled Brits surrounded by a picnic of wine and Cadburys chocolate (the girls got through nearly 2kg of chocolate….although it was the first time they’d had proper Cadbury’s in a couple of months).
The next day we had another 7 hour coach journey to Santiago. As the GAP group’s coach would have meant we missed the champs league final, Tom, Gem and a few others got up at 5.45 to make sure they saw the match. To keep us company we brought along a
Chilean Lager - Kunstmann
Despite tasting like toilet water, Tom never got bored of ordering a Kunstmann!!! few beers. By the time we got to Santiago we’d polished off the beers (except a couple of snid’s for the cab to the pub) and Tom was hammered (1pm local time). When the Coach’s steward came to collect the rubbish, he just laughed when Tom handed him his bag of empties (Clink, Clink, Clink)
At the Irish pub we found to watch the game, Tom made the Irish look sober and was in full voice supporting Liverpool. It was only at the end that Tom remembered what Liverpool did to West Ham in the cup final 12 months earlier and watching the scousers cry brought a big smile on his face, it was better than therapy seeing their tears!!!
We were in Santiago for about 5 days but it seemed a lot shorter. It was nice to be in a proper city where everybody was busy and hard at work. If you stand around looking at buildings like a rubber neck tourist, the locals will barge past you and mutter something under their breath. This combined with an overcrowded tube network made us feel like we were back in London. In fact Santiago’s tube makes London’s look
empty. They employ people at rush hour to push more passengers onto the trains before closing the doors. Tom literally had to take three people out (shoulder down and barging them) to get off the tube at his stop. Although they didn’t seem to mind and just smiled as way of congratulations.
Gemma spent a morning visiting a Vineyard called Concha y Toro and learnt about the production of Casilbelio Diablo. The highlight was obviously the tasting and for some reason Gemma’s pallet was more finely tuned to the cheaper varieties, probably caused by over 6 years of Soave abuse. The wine (Casilbelio Diablo) got its name, which means Cave of the Devil, from the fact the vineyard owner spread a rumour that there was a devil in the cellars of vineyard, to stop the locals stealing his produce.
In the afternoon while Gemma was sleeping off the wine testing, Tom went looking for a club that was supposed to play dnb that night called Junglist Soldiers. Armed with just an address and a very narrow Spanish vocabulary, Tom went looking for the club. He came out of the tube station that had the same name as the
street the club was on and was relieved to find the road he was looking for. The only problem was that he needed 2088 Irarrazaval and he was standing outside No. 1 (a bit like the scene in Annie).
30 minutes later he found the address but the shutters were down and he hadn’t seen any flyers on route. No problem, Tom went into the shop next door and asked the little old lady if she knew of the night. They digressed, her in Spanish and Tom in English, neither understanding a word the other was saying. Tom, not wanting to blame his non existent Spanish for the confusion, thanked the lady (Gracias…one of 4 words Tom knows). Outside he tried again with a couple of young lads…but again was met with blank faces and a barrage of Spanish he didn’t understand. We never made it to the dnb night but Tom did get to see parts of the city most tourists don’t (ie car dealerships and an industrial estate).
We spent a day walking around the city which is clean, safe and in parts beautiful. Unfortunately we forgot the camera so we have no pictures. Santiago is
Tigre
Buenos Aires (apparently) home to many famous museums, ballets schools and contemporary art galleries, none of which we visited. Our last few days in Santiago were somewhat nocturnal, going to bed at 6am and getting up around dusk, so again we took no pictures. The nightlife was good and most clubs were free to get in. The drink was also cheap with Gemma getting 2 for 1 gin and tonics (as she could split the measure into 2 glasses) and Tom ordering a one pound seventy bottle of Stella that turned out to be a liter big. We really enjoyed Chile and would have liked to have stayed longer if it was a little cheaper.
From Chile we flew to Buenos Aires. The city has been called The Paris of the South, probably due to the massive boulevards and Tango shows. In reality we found it to be a lot nicer. The people are the friendliest you’ll come across, the steaks are superb, it’s cheap and best of all, there is not a French man in sight.
Buenos Aires is a vast city with many very different and very beautiful districts connected by an easy to use and cheap tube
system. We stayed in three hostels located in the Centre, Palermo and San Telmo during our 10 days in BA. We thought mixing it up would make us see more of the city. Unfortunately that meant carting our stuff across the city a few times but it was well worth it.
The buildings in the centre are as grand as the boulevards and Gemma’s favourite was the pink palace in Plaza de Mayo. Our first two days in the city were spent walking around checking it out and deciding what we wanted to do in Argentina. We quickly found out that being spoon fed where to go and when (by GAP) does have its advantages.
We visited a massive graveyard at Recoleta which was like a mini city for the dead, not too dissimilar to Loughton on the Isle of Sheppey. The tombs were of varying design and material. Some were a lot nicer than some of the houses outside its walls. It seemed a bit morbid looking around and taking photos seemed a little wrong. There was also a lot of very mangy cats hanging around that all looked flee bitten and unkempt. These added to the
Irish lot
Ireland vs Pumas, Buenos Aires character of the place and it wouldn’t be too hard to believe that they were the reincarnation of the poor soles buried there
The city has hundreds of shops dedicated to football and Tom made Gemma go into most of them, checking to see if they had a West Ham top (probably the best selling Premiership top in Argentina,…nothing to do with Tevez playing for them, honest) and now thanks to Tom, at the front of every clothes rack. Point to Note, there wasn’t a Spurs shirt in sight.
We visited Tigre, which is an affluent suburb further up the coast and home to a network of islands and waterways where the richer residents of BA hide away. It’s also home to a famous fruit market. Now we knew before we came that the Argies love their meat and don’t have much time for fruit and veg, but someone should tell them that wicker baskets, pan pipes and jewellery aren’t a type of fruit, as this is all they sold at the fruit market. We were going to take the boat tour around the islands but it was getting cold with the winds coming off the Atlantic. Tigre
Irish crew
Ireland vs Pumas, Buenos Aires was probably 50% shut down and is probably best visited in the summer or at the weekend.
On the way back we found a pucker little Supermarket. The Argentines have got their priorities spot on. A kilo of fillet steak cost 2 pound, cheaper than most Veg. Stella Artois is brewed here under license and is cheaper than soft drinks (so drinking the ¨wife beater¨ is as Argentine as going to the Tango....and so cultured!!!). Football is all that matters.
As neither of us had seen a live rugby match before and were unlikely to get the chance to see one for 2 pound a ticket again, we went to see The Pumas (Argentina) play Ireland at rugby. The bus picked us up from the hostel at midday and before we got on it we could smell the booze. On board there was sea of green tops and red faces as we came across 30 odd pissed up paddies on route for the stadium. Now due to the football violence, there is a 10 block no booze zone around and sports events and a blanket ban in the stadium…that is unless you’re Irish. They can smuggle and charm
The pitch
Ireland vs Pumas, Buenos Aires their way around even the most stringent controls.
The game was probably one of the worst ever to be played but it didn’t matter as our new found Irish friends provided us with more than enough entertainment. Standing isolated in the terraces in a group of about 50, there was plenty of friendly banter with the Puma supporters. The 16.0 victory to the Pumas was a bit of a sham as the Irish had a third string team out and the Pumas still felt compelled to punch, whistle and intimidate their way to victory. Even at rugby they're still cheating Argies!!!
We had a couple of days more in Buenos Aires before heading off to the Estancia. We spent them in Palermo which had an array of pubs and clubs in the vicinity of our hostel (Casa Esmeralda) and we spent a couple of drunken nights exploring them. It is worth noting that the dog at Casa Esmeralda is probably the fattest in the whole of Argentina and despite its bark, is probably the softest guard dog. It could be distracted with onions or peppers as Tom discovered when cooking. The only thing it wasn’t fond of was
garlic, but it still tasted a little bit.
While waiting for the coach to Gualeguaychu we saw one of the funniest fights. A porter taking luggage off the bus got beaten up by a scary looking Argentine lady who was obviously not happy. She looked like Mongo out of blazing saddles with a Maradona haircut. She also possessed the sweetest left hook and used it on numerous occasions to get her point across. Nobody stepped in to help and the porter must have had a couple of shiners later on.
We got a coach up to Gualeguaychu and spent the night at a cheap hotel before trying to get a taxi to the Estancia, Santa Maria. We couldn’t get hold of the Estancia on their mobile as we were told to and so tried the local taxi firm. They couldn’t be sure of its location so we went to the internet café to try and get more info. It was here that a local stepped in to help us. Even though his English was poor and we’d never met him before, he spent over an hour helping us track it down. He walked over 20 blocks to other
Tom and Gemma
Santa Maria Estancia, Gualeguachu Gualeguachucab offices for us trying to help and was a real trooper. In the end we got through to the Estancia and his help wasn’t needed.
He didn’t want or ask for any money and just did it out of courtesy. His actions were a fair reflection of how nice the Argentines are (excluding sports!!!) and to date it is the only country in South America we’ve visited where, if somebody approaches you and talks to you, you can be pretty sure they’re just being nice/curious rather than wanting something from you (ie money).
The Estancia was about 30km out of town and covered a massive area. It was about 15km from its edge to the building we stayed in at in the centre. We were the only guests for the 3days (2nights) that we stayed there and so had all the facilities to ourselves. The Estancia main business was breeding cattle and horses. When we arrived we had a massive three course lunch before getting straight into the horse riding.
Our Gaucho, Juan, saddled up a couple of horses and we joined the other gauchos in herding up the cattle for their daily wash. Gemma got
One of the many birds we saw
Santa Maria Estancia, Gualeguachu involved straight away, chasing down stray cows and herding them back into the main group. Tom, riding for the first time, stayed pretty much in the same spot. His horse shared some the same personality and personal hygiene traits as he did. Both were lazy and had problem with wind. Both would also have preferred to stay at the estancia and continue eating.
At one point Tom tried to ‘giddy up’ his horse as the others were getting away from them. The horse just sighed, turned its head and gave him a look as if to say “We both know you’ve got no idea how to ride and I aint carrying your fat ass any further”. The horse then refused to move. The gaucho had to drag the stubborn and unwilling horse by a rope. We helped washed the cows for an hour and then rode back to the farm.
We spent the evening eating and sitting by am open fire playing card. At the Estancia we were fed 4 times a day. Lunch and dinner were at least three courses but sometimes 4 and the food was very good. On the second day for lunch, after a
Sunset
Santa Maria Estancia, Gualeguachu mornings riding, we were served
Starter - home made Salami & local cheeses
Second course - Bangers and mash
Third Course - a massive joint of roast beef & veg
Dessert - Red apple pickled in wine
Tom was in his element and made sure we finished it all. While Gemma went riding in the afternoon, Tom had to go and have a lie down, sweating. Like a Boa Constrictor he couldn’t move for a couple of hours as he had to let the food digest.
On the third morning we went riding again. Gemma was starting to build up a rapport with the gaucho, mainly due to her riding skills and ability to speak Spanish to him. The gauchos are highly skilled horseman who work 7 days a week. The cows seemed a bit dippy and one had to be pulled out of a shallow hole that it fell into, by a gaucho. In the evenings the sunsets were stunning. The colours stretched in every direction, not just in the west, and were a variety of deep reds, yellows, browns and oranges.
Gemma loved the three days we spent at the Estancia, especially the riding
Gem herding cattle
Santa Maria Estancia, Gualeguachu and would have liked to have stayed for longer. The only complaint we had was that we were told they spoke English which nobody did. It helped Gemma practice her Spanish though so we didn’t mind too much. After our stay we headed back to BA, Gemma a little sad to be leaving
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biggsy
non-member comment
man that is some funny shit
ahh gem i chuckled all the way through your story....you definitely have a nack of writing some funny and very informative shit!!!! that story of the horse and tom had me in stitches.....the dude on the pc next to me must have thought i was radio rental!! sounds like your having a blinder tho kids.....good for you! peace love and hair grease p.s you must have known i would read this with that little spurs comment! thats right it didnt go un-noticed!