Journey To The End Of The Earth

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Hi all. Happy Friday or, if you´re reading this another day, Happy whatever day it is.

Back when I was planning this trip, a few people expressed an interest in joining me for various parts of the trip. As several of these conversations took place late at night in pubs after adult beverages had been consumed, I disregarded most of them. One or two people, however, have followed up their interest and actually booked a flight to join me on my mad adventure.

So it was that I found myself at Santiago airport one Thursday morning waiting for an old work pal, Philip, to join me for a couple of weeks in Chile. I don´t think Philip will mind me saying that he´s had a tough few months recently so he was heading out here for a once in a lifetime trip to somewhere he has always wanted to go. It was my job to ensure that he enjoyed himself.

We had a couple of days in Santiago to start with. Chile is very much like Diet South America or South America Lite. It seems much more organised and civilised than a lot of the places I have been to in Latin America. So whilst it´s nice and safe and comfortable, it perhaps lacks a little of the pizazz that other countries have.

Possibly our favourite feature of Santiago was something that Philip found in his guide book. I can only describe it as a porno coffee shop. Rather than comfy sofas and armchairs like an average Starbucks has, the Santiago coffee shops were standing room only where you were served at a bar. We wondered why the place was filled with bored looking businessmen and soon discovered why. The waitresses were exceedingly tall woman with tight short lycra mini skirts and mountains of make-up. They were all in their 40s and absolutely did not mind that their sole reason for being there was so that middle aged men could come and stare at them as they sup their morning coffees. As you know, I like to join in local traditions so I felt it was only right that we had a coffe there. Maybe a younger shift of girls in their 20s would arrive later on. Sadly not. It was a bizarre place.

From there, we made our way to the Santiago Museum of Pre-Colombian history. A fine museum. I was particularly interested in the section about sitting in ancient times. There were cabinets full of various chairs from bygone days. There was also an explanation. Apparently, it was thought that deities and people in high political office should spend their time sitting. If they were disturbed and left their chairs, it was thought they may rise and kill someone or even destroy the earth! That´s why you should never disturb anyone who looks like they are enjoying a good sit - even in the office - because you never know what the consequences might be.

Anyway, I have a lot more to tell you next time such as how me and Phil may have saved the earth but you have been reading my musings for a few weeks now. Wouldn´t you like to hear from a guest blogger? I´m sure you would so (and I have no idea what he´s going to say) are some of Philip´s thoughts on the trip so far.

Joff


Hi blog readers! Phil here! Now the daunting prospect of fitting, temporarily, into the witty shoes of El Joffo, especially when post several coffees with dodgy Colombian combinations.

Joff gave you a good intro to his part of the trip with me in tow, so I´ll dive in there, i.e., day 2 of my trip on Friday, 2nd. One of my must sees was the Mercardo Central, famous for its fresh fish. After walking around, sampling the heady aromas of various dead and drying animals, we girded our loins and decided to run the gauntlet! You remember Gladiators? They had it easy! Every two feet, another waiter would pounce with promises of fishy delights, some cheaper than others, some extremely insistent until we settled for a kindly chap in a corner. As promised, the fish was excellent. Then we had to leave, only to have to run the guantlet again! Quite why they thought that pressing their business cards into our reluctant hands would result in our return to run the gauntlet again, I don´t know, certainly not without the help of at least Jet and Wolf!

Stepping out from the dingy market led us into the full afternoon sun when I realised how strong the sun was in Santiago in March. Did you know Santiago is the same latitude as Tel Aviv or Casablanca? As we were some distance from the Liberatador on Bernardo O´Higgins (a subject I will come back to in a moment) tried to find a cap in the market. Not being enticed by brushed off bird poo, we had to head back whilst my pate got nice and crispy.

Yes, so, Señor O´Higgins was the son of an Irish immigrant (hence the surprising name) and a Chilean mother and led the revolution that ousted the Spanish. He is everywhere in Chile, there isn´t a town or a part of Santiagio that doesn´t have his name displayed somewhere as streets or squares. He has a particular fascination for the Irishman, Brian Keenan, who, along with his English mate John McCarthy, was a hostage in Beirut and it was their book, Between Extremes, on their travels in Chile to look into their dreams of a yak farm in Patagonia, that was the inspiration for my trip.

So, the next stage (too many porno coffee shops can make you blind you know) was a flight to the end of the world in deepest Southern Patagonia and Punta Arenas. Joff said after so many hot countries, that it would be nice to be cold for a change, so I didn´t want to disappoint him! By the way, Punta Arenas is the same latitude as Watford but as we were to find out, much colder in late Summer. There are no roads between Puerto Montt, 12 hours by bus from Santiago, and the last bit of Chile that is in Patagonia, if you don´t fly, it´s several days by (expensive) boat. We really were taking the plunge.

Arenas (as the locals call it) is a rather grey place. Even the hardy inhabitants look a little grey. Most of the trekkers move straight on north to the tourist spots, so we spent a couple of days checked into the New West Wing (paint still drying) with the locals and went for a walk in the rain. The Crematorium in Arenas is a fascinating place, people from all over the world are buried there, the Brit gravestones naturally translating the place to Sandy Point. The Croatians in particular really have gone to town on their mausolea, the common accommodation seems to a be a 6-birth for the family with nice frilly ecoutrements, mmmmm, nice. Joff and I also took in the obsession with topiary that the authorities have, before deciding to find a bar.

The bar we found was a pleasant place with futbol on the telly. So we made ourselves comfortable in the best seats in the house and settled down to watch the bizarre prospect of Chilean football in the blazing sunshine whilst it lashed it down with sleet outside. Little did we know that we were in the middle of a major local interest match involving a University Derby of Chile v Catholics. Not knowing which to cheer for for fear of physical harm, particularly as us gringos had unknowingly taken the best seats, we waited to see who to cheer for. As soon as Chile came out the place went mad! Apart, that is, from the guy opposite who looked just like the dad off American Pie. At least we knew who to cheer for. Anyway, the match was a rather dull affair and ended goaless. Then, just like any Sunday afternoon in England, the place emptied immediately. American Pie dad managed to eke out his single pint to the very end.

The next day we were 3 hours on the bus to Puerto Natales, the tourism capital of Patagonia. We checked into the Gold Lame Pavillion for one night (a mistake as it turned out, or maybe not). Joff went off to do his Argentina Blog and I set off to find beer in the teeth of a freezing gale. The Austral sign beckoned and I found myself in a Pizza place and noticed on the menu that a full pint (plus a bit) of draught was "shop". I turned to look in the direction of the bar and my mind was instantly read by the delightful bar lady with the cry of "shop"? I was shortly joined by the Joffman and we had found Moe´s Chop Shop.

No time to waste, we set out into the frosty next morning on the bus to the famous Torres del Paine (the latter pronounced ´piney'). We checked into Group HQ in the depths of the south of the park. The place had been taken over by "the group". A bunch of around 20 German types who occupied the dining room backing onto our room making loud plans for world domination that Joff and I were there to foil by our cunning listening activities. Little did we know that they would have their revenge!

The next day was The Trek! We set off in full cold weather gear in a beautiful frosty morning. Only to take everything off again as we scaled a mountain after only an hour of trekking. It was worth it though, with views that cannot be described here readers, the photos need to be seen to be believed! We eventually returned after 10½ hours, desperately in need of a shower, a mixed grill and several beers. The first stage of the Group revenge was enacted when the hot water turned to freezing cold. Then, whilst we waited patiently for service in the dining room, "the group", pinned the waiter in a corner and got him to put in their order. No mixed grills for us then! By now we were holding our throats with our tongues out at the waiter. Wow, that first beer was good, swiftly followed by several more.

Yesterday was back to Natales to find that the Gold Lame Pavillion (which we hadn´t reserved) was full. Eventually, after several times thinking we were going to have to slum it on a bench or pay for the best hotel in town, we were directed to a brand new place. What a find! Cheap, clean, new and an excellent host and restaurant. So it was back to Moe's Chop Shop once more before having an excellent dinner with extra complimentary wine care of our genial host.

Well, I´ve gone on long enough. Next will be Joff´s stories of the trip to the Glaciers and a night at Ruperto´s Music Bar.

Phil

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Comments

[Pa Harvey]

An old Yorkshire Saying
With all the references to sitting, I thought it was time to remind you of the old Yorkshire saying - "There's them as sits and thinks, then there's them as just sits.." Which one are you?

[Daddy K]

Keep Blogging.
Glad to hear you 2 are enjoying the coffee out there. I trust Philip didn't get too sunburnt in the sleet & snow. I do think he needs to practice his blogging a little more before reaching your high standards. Perhaps a little more sitting and a little less shopping is required! We did have a chuckle about you 2 at Chris’s leaving do on Friday (although The Star in is a far cry from Barcelona), and we couldn’t decide who would get the John Wilson tan 1st. My money is on Phillip.