Goooooaaal

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American sports fans are so lame.

I came to this conclusion shortly after arriving at Maracana Stadium in Rio for a match between two local teams, Fluminense and Flamengo. I'd like to point out that we went to the game with three other Irish people (from Sligo) and guess who was the only one wearing an Ireland jersey? Yep, mise. I think I'll go apply for an Irish passport now.

Anyway, the stands at the stadium were filled and everyone wore their team's colors and knew every word to every team song or chant. No one sat down. They sang, they cried, they danced, they screamed, they waved giant flags, they set off fireworks. There were drums and coordinated taunts about the other team, including complicated hand gestures. And this was an hour before the game even started!

The madness reached a crescendo when Flamengo (our adopted team for the night) scored a goal. High-fives all around. Some giant drunk guy grabbed Peter in a bear hug. The same guy would later scream obscenities at the referee from the very bottom of his hairy ass (most of which I could see because I was standing right behind him). The game wasn't even that good. Neither team was playing well and it was only the middle of the season.

I can't even imagine what it's like during the playoffs. Or the World Cup.

All we have are big fat white guys painted blue and white, jiggling their bloated beer bellies around doing the running man. Where's our Olé, Olé? Where are the samba drums? Where are the giant flags? Are we just a nation of tuneless, rhythmically challenged sports fans capable only of basic manuevers like the wave? I know it's not a white man can't jump/dance issue. Because they sing and dance in Europe too. And they don't even have cheerleaders, who are supposed to...hmmmm...lead cheers?

Of course, all of this passion has its downside. There's something to be said for not fearing for your life at a sporting event. I mean, there was an actual 10 foot wide moat surrounding the football pitch. And we were warned that people often throw cups of urine and dead chickens at the opposing fans.

Brazilian intensity extends past the football stadium into the streets too. This is the country where the drivers actually speed up when they see a pedestrian crossing the street. We also saw a guy with his head split open in the middle of the day near our hotel in Rio. Peter thought it may have had to do with a drug deal gone wrong. He should know, with all his experience with drug dealers.

So, we're sitting in a bar in Salvador do Bahia, enjoying some caiparhinas and live bossa nova. Salvador is fabulous, by the way. We liked it much better than Rio. It's got great music and the best local food. On Tuesdays, the entire old town turns into a giant street party with live bands every 2-3 blocks, roaming drumming groups and food stalls. People wander the streets, drinking $1 beers, dancing, and listening to great music. I would love to come to Salvador for Carnaval.

Anyway, we're in this bar at about 11 pm and this 20-ish looking guy approaches us with a really friendly smile and shakes Peter's hand. Then, the guy, sniffing and in heavily accented English, asks, "You want some?" He taps the side of his nostril and nods for emphasis. Peter is just sitting there, smiling and nodding his head. You know, like you do when you have no idea what the person is saying and you don´t want to be rude. The guy again taps his nostril, sniffs and asks, "you want some." Peter still has no idea what he's saying. Finally, I lean over and tell Peter, "He´s asking you if you want some blow."

And I´m the sheltered one?

Peter's innocence was again in evidence as we were walking around Rio's party district, Lapa, or as Peter likes to call it, Lapa-dancia. We walked past a beautiful Brazilian wearing 4 inch stilletos, a thong, and what looked like a dress crocheted from doilies that ended about a millimeter past the crotch. Peter was agog. I leaned over and told him, "It's a boy." He was crushed.

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Comments

[Brett]

Hilarious
Dinh, you are too funny. :) Glad to hear ya'll are having a great time!

[Mimi]

waiting for the memoirs
haven't read your blog in a while. maybe since peru. anyways. always reading about your adventures and world travels with smiles, laughs, and mouth agape. beautiful photographs (the ones you still have!). will buy your memoirs when you publish them, which is a must at this point! young couple quits jobs, travels the world for seven months. jealous but not jealous at the same time. amazing and amusing tales! maybe a miniseries? comedy series? something!