And Then There Were Four

---

Since we last wrote, we´re afraid too much has happened but we shall spare you all the gruelling details and just summarise some key funny/interesting moments of the last few weeks. Sadly the Uruguayan turtles needed no help since they had buggered off to warmer pastures, and so we made like them and left Uruguay pretty swiftly to meet Stephanie in Buenos Aires.


1. Endless bus journeys cheered up by a certain big-busted idiot and her autobiography, I quote: “Fake hair, fake-boobed me”. Answers on the back of a postcard, please.
2. Steph being snogged by a scary dandruff/sugar doughnut selling old man.
3. In North Argentina, Laura falling in love with cacti, Heloise chasing live llamas, Jack and Steph enjoying the dead ones (on a plate).
4. Finding out that 100km in Bolivia takes 7 hours on a bone-shaker of a bus.
5. If one happens to be peeing half way up a mountain (Heloise and Steph) your bus will definitely not wait for you, unless you have a Laura to storm down the aisle knocking over an old lady in her wake in order to scream at the driver (Jack seemed nonchalant).


Currently we are under siege in Sucre (Bolivia) by angry students who have blocked all roads with a pathetic amount of pebbles which they will throw at your bus when you attempt to break through their barricade. Help with this war of attrition is needed urgently - Jack and Steph are mostly worried about the food situation: soon they will be driven to munching on the herbivores. If you want to save two innocent (but tasty) vegetarians from two raving carnivores, send food packages now (no bread, and not by bus).

On a more serious note, Argentina was awesome - all you can eat buffets and many rocks of many colours (stunning canyons, hair-raising vertical drops far too near to the wheels of our shoddy buses and did we mention the buffets?). Finally we are approaching sun goddess status, and are adept at eating once a day (they have all you can eat buffets in Argentina, you know, and you can get 26 oranges for 50p). We spent a lot of time in quaint mountain-top villages and exploring the colourful markets and surrounds. It seems wherever we go we attract stray dogs (Paolo, Carlos, Bob, Fivel, Lassie, Spot the Shit (not the best-looking one) to name a few…). Obviously we give off a needy vibe and they feel compelled to attack anyone who comes near us, even little children.

As soon as we escape the siege, we shall let you know our thoughts on Bolivia.

---