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Published: January 31st 2010
welcome to El Chalten
after 32 hours this is what we looked like... me sporting my hot long johns. thank you costco.Well... Hannah and I had a wonderful ride south towards Patagonia (please insert sarcasm here). We got on the bus at 11:30 pm at night, assuming that like all other buses in Argentina, ours would be nice. We were mistaken. This could compete for a high class school bus, but not the sort you want to spend 14 hours on. There was basically no leg room and the seats did not recline. Thankfully there was no one behind us so I took those two seats, but I was freezing my ass off and so uncomfortable that I couldn’t sleep.
Then... things went from bad to shittier... literally. Similar to the Oil Kings bus - there is a “no pooing in the toilet bus” rule down in South America. I believe this is because the tanks aren’t very big and everything stays there for the remainder of the ride. Unfortunately, nobody follows this rule, especially on a gringo bus full of travellers where someone is guaranteed to have tummy troubles.
Well, in the morning Hannah was waiting for the toilet for 15 minutes. Finally a guy bolted from the bathroom (shutting the door very quickly) and hurried back
Trekking Wear - fabulous
this is a view of a glacier, some mountains, and my wet see-through pants and fat ass... yes I have a bit of a wedgie. to his seat. When Hannah came out the next time, the door opened and out came the most horrendous smell. The last 6 rows of the bus were blasted with what I can only describe as a worst diarrhoea nightmare. She announced “I would just like to point out that I didn’t do that.”
For the next three hours every time someone went into pee and they opened or closed the doors we were gassed with the worst waft ever. At one point it was so bad that I turned around and burst out laughing - I couldn’t stop for the next 20 minutes. The Aussie girl behind me was trying to sleep while plugging her nose, the couple next to her had their eye masks pulled down over their noses - looking like bandits, and everyone else behind them were holding their noses and laughing with me.
We then had a 4 hour layover in the middle of nowhere, and then another 13 hour bus to El Chalten - home to the famous Fitz Roy mountain range. Apparently a climber’s paradise, we took the day easy by walking around town and I went to a
one windy 12 dollar boat ride
sailing towards the massive Perito Merino glaciar - my highlight of Patagonia yoga class. I had also split my only pants too many times and had been hanging out in long johns and hiking boots... very hot. I finally resorted to buying the only pair of trekking pants I could that would fit me (I am currently 15 pounds overweight and buying clothes is the shits here... I just hide it from all of you by not selecting any photos of me where I have multiple chins.
Of course the only pants that would fit were in cream colour - great for dirt, and unfortunately slightly see through. The next day when we decided to hike it started pouring rain on us and my cream pants became completely see-through, much to the amusement of Hannah. I also found out that Hannah (with a chest infection) walks way faster than me and is like a freaking pack horse. Slightly intimidating and made me feel like a lazy, fat, see-through pant wearing slacker.
Our itinerary had to be spot on in Patagonia because Hannah has a flight from the south on the 30th, and I want to be back to Buenos Aires to shop, eat, and party in the hot
massive
60 meters high - 5 hm wide- 50 km long - advances 2 meters everyday weather. We left El Chalten and had an early morning bus to El Calafate. We checked into the hostel and then jumped on a bus out to the famous Perito Moreno glacier. I have been burning through money in Patagonia, and going to the glacier was killer. $20 for the 90 minute bus to the glacier, $20 to get into the glacier, and then $12 for the boat ride up the river to see one of the worlds’s only remaining advancing glaciers.
Definitely a highlight of Argentina! The glacier is 60 meters high, 5 km wide and something like 60 km long. After the boat ride where we got pretty damn close and got to realize just how massive the damn thing is, we went up to the observation area and spent 4 hours watching massive chunks (some the size of a house) fall off and crash into the water. The noise was incredible, and we had met an American to keep us entertained in the windy weather.
When we got back at 10 pm we were hungry and a number of animals being grilled in the windows of the restaurants had us hungry. Having already
blown our budget for the day we all said what the hell and went for the all you can eat grilled meat restaurant (13 dollars... but still a lot of money for us). We made a brief visit to the salad bar and then plate after plate of grilled lamb, beef, and chicken visited our tables and into our bellies. The whole experience was hilarious - especially when people from surrounding tables were glaring at us when we were picking the meat off the bones - apparently a no-no or something because people were disgusted with us. Poor Ryan from Indiana thought he was a man, which was until Hannah out-ate him and called him a pussy for leaving two bites on his plate.
The next morning we had a six-hour bus ride over to Pt. Natales in Chile... which meant another 2 hours of my life stuck at border crossing ready to pull my hair out. We had time to drop our bags at our kickass hostel - the Erratic Rock - and then head next door for their daily seminar on hiking the Torres Del Paine national park. Then next 7 hours were a blur of
pretending I drink beer
again... look at how massive that sucker is booking buses out of Pt. Natales, renting a tent, sleeping bag, mat, trekking poles, cooking gear, buying fuel, getting groceries for a five day hike, showering, and then packing our bags. Our plan was to do the tail and the famous W section of the trail inside the park.
The next morning we had a kick-ass breakfast before jumping on the 2 hour bus to the park (another $30 entrance) and then another hour to our starting point. Day one was 17 km (5 hours) with our 30+ pound packs up the tail section and paid $9 to camp at Paine Grande (aka the fancy camp/Refugio). The first night was so windy I was convinced we were going to have a Dorothy moment and find out tent somewhere in Oz - or Bolivia. Hannah’s side of the tent was shit and she got soaked. At 4 am while I was awake because I had to pee and refused to go out in the rain - Hannah was saying we needed to grow a penis in th next 24 hours so we could just hang a leak out the tent or pee in a bottle. I said - you're
sitting time
chilling out for hours while we waited for chucks bigger than the Honda to fall off and crash into the water. the sound was amazing! a damn nurse, couldn't you bring a cathater or something for me... wishing she had one - Hannah was ready to collect her urine for the next five days and throw it on the women who rented us the leaky tent.
Day two we got up early, left our tent up and did a quick 7 hour- 22 km hike up to see Glacier Grey where we could see the Patagonian ice field - third largest in the world. Fun times - minus the massive wind storm that had me convinced we were all going to fly away. Having completed the first leg of the W - we grabbed our packs and went another 2.5 hours (7.6 km) to the free Italiano campsite.
Day three Hannah had us up at 6 am so we could rip up the middle of the W towards the French Valley - we had an incredible of another glacier and because it was early in the morning we had the whole place to ourselves. We completed the 15 km in 5 hours - grabbed our bags and headed 2 hours (5.5km) to Los Cuernos - the worst paid campsite ever! They
All you can eat Meat
um... more please. This was what they looked like before we attacked the grill with dirty fingers. had no shelter for us to cook outside and they kicked us out of the Refugio/hostel at 7 pm when we didn’t want to have their $20 dinner.
Since Hannah is a speed machine she had got to the campsite early and picked out a sweet spot. Well... when we got kicked out during dinnertime she jumped in the tent to find her side in 4 inches of water. We were smack in the middle of a puddle and everything was wet - and all the shitty spots left were taken. We moved a picnic table and wedged ourselves in between two bushes - slightly soaked and a little cranky. Hannah had to spoon me to not get wetter - very entertaining night.
Day four we had Danielle with us (who I hung out with in Santiago), and we all set off to our last campsite. It was supposed to be a 7.5 hour hike with our bags, but we managed to find the shortcut straight up a MASSIVE F’ING HILL. I was the slow poke of the group and managed the shortcut in just less than 5 hours, followed by nap time.
On
Day one of the W hike
Actually... we didn't get to the W part until we did the first 5 hours of the tail with our uber heavy packs on. the last morning we were supposed to get up at 4 am to climb the last 45 minutes to the lookout to see the towers - the most famous site of the park. Well... it started pissing rain at 2 am and we decided not to get up in the dark. Instead we went up at 7 am and were treated to snow and absolutely no view of the towers. What a treat. We hauled ass back to where the shuttle would pick us up, making it in 2 hours. It was wet and muddy and I bailed pretty hard - my wet see-through pants now covered in mud.
All in all it was pretty funny, mostly because Hannah is one of the funniest people I have met on this trip. At times I was sure I was going to pee my pants. By the end of it everything I had was wet and smelled like BO - including my rain jacket (not even sure how that happens). It was a treat to shower last night after 5 days, and after some serious conditioner I got rid of the rat’s nest my hair had turned into.
glacier grey
looking at the 3rd largest ice field in the world - I was getting blown away... it looks fun but was sort of scary. Patagonia was nice - saw some great things but come one... how impressed can I really be when we live so close to the rockies. It was painful to blow money that fast when I was freezing my ass off... but now back to Buenos Aires where I've treated myself to a 3 hour flight instead of a 30 plus hour bus ride... woo hoo!
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Kristine
non-member comment
Torres del Paine... aka Towers of Pain
Your hike looks amazing! We did it last year at the end of April and were absolutely freezing our asses off in our tent at night, but at least there weren't many people... We didn't find any shortcuts tho - and I don't think Elliott managed to get a single photo with me smiling ;) Also, we don't have hiking boots, and couldn't fit any of the rental ones, so we did it Old School: In trainers! We also saw the Perito Moreno glacier, only in pouring rain. We spent most of our day there drinking hot cocoa very slowly to avoid having to be outside! Didn't even know there was a mountain behind it as I can now see from your photos that there is :) You're very lucky, princess, to see it with such an amazing blue sky!!