Prime Meridian: The Origins

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We watched ¨Wolverine: The Origins¨in Buenos Aires for 20 pesos (2 quid each) which got me thinking of all the millions that Logan has made from selling the movies rights to his life and wondered what Prime Meridian´s might fetch...

NAME: PRIME MERIDIAN

BIRTHPLACE: Hammersmith, London

BIRTHPLACE OF POWER: Greenwich Observatory, 00.00.01 past the Autumn Equinnox in 2004 after an alignment of stars so secret it has been continously protected by a line of great conquerors and explorers... Erik the Red, Constantine the Great, Christopher Columbus, Neil Armstrong and Michael Palin

SUPERPOWERS:
Ability to stop a stop watch on 00.00.01
Ability to locate Due North
Ability to read alternative time e.g. knowing how long things will really take in foreign countries
Ability to survive jet lag
Ability to fly

ACHILLES HEAL:
Altitude sickness renders ability to fly useless

LOVE INTEREST:
Harlequins RFC

ENEMIES:
Arch nemesis is the evil and mysterious intergallatical force called MOMENTUM, who does everything he can to stop Prime Meridian...
Momentum´s side kick, TUK-TUK, is an angry dwarf from Bangkok. Aka SHORT-CHANGE

Prime Meridian´s TOP FIVE battles with Momentum:

1. Arriving at Heathrow airport and being temporarily refused boading due to some confusion over (not having purchased) visas. Could have been the shortest ever ´year travelling´
2. Greasing up PM´s flipflops so that as he ran to help small Indian children (some actually orphans) who were stuck under a collapsed marquee, he tripped over his own feet and tore the ligaments in his toes
3. Repeatedly hiding a Laos Airline office in the same Chang Mai street as their address. Included creation of protests-riots at Bangkok airport as further distraction
4. Humilation at a Buenos Aires Tango lesson. It´s hard to master eight steps when you´ve Momentum out to thwart you
5. 96 icy switchbacks on the last major descent of Kepler Track. Blisters on the bottom to match those on the feet

And on the subject of not very good film moments we caught the last 40 mins of the third Lord of the Rings movie in an empty pub yesterday evening so here are my TOP FIVE worst LOTR moments that happen to all be in the last 40 mins of the third film and why a perfectly good El Calafate pub was empty on a Saturday night:

1. The hobbits-on-a-bed-jumping-laughing-wetting-moment when Frodo awakes from his ring ordel
2. Crying Sam rescues a semi naked and spiderweb bound Frodo. Get a room
3. The Eagles. It might not have made it a triology but why did someone not think of sending Frodo to Mt Doom with the eagles in the first place?!?
4. The ghost army is one of the best bits in the book and poorest bits of the film, where clearly Peter Jackson was starting to run out of time, money, will, etc. Or maybe so it was he could have more Sam and Frodo moments
5. Bilbo´s departure with the elves is the worst ¨small child with old man´s wig¨ hobbit and human body shot of the film

However Patagonia Amber Lager is a fine pint.

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Comments

[Momentum]

Biggest Lord ever
There's only one thing gay-er than LOTR and that's Prime Meridian.