Palmists and Puke

---

---

We were packed and on the road by 0900 hours. Previously I had picked up a brochure about the Riccarton Markets that are held every Sunday and are the biggest in NZ. Riccarton just happens to be on our way so we decided to stop for an hour or so. An older man sitting in his tent advertising palm readings caught my eye so I went in for a 20 minute reading. "you're a very keen traveller, but despite your adventures you lead a very mundane life at home," he prophetised. "your IQ is high and you work well in an office and on computers, but I should give it all up to persue my creative side," he went on to say. What can I say, but I think he was right on the money. I KNOW I have an extremely high IQ, but no one else seems to get that, especially my husband. Well, the soothsayer might be giving my ego a bit of a well needed boost there, but he is pretty much well spot on with the rest of his mutterings. After I'd finished I caught hubby checking out someone else's trash, I mean tools. Some of the palmist insticts have rubbed off to me because I could foretell he was devising ways of how he could get some of this stuff back to oz. I divert his attention to the icecream van and it worked. Unfortunately, we didn't get time to delve too deeply into the markets as we had the Whale Watching tour booked in Kaikoura for 1530 hours which is a two hour drive away.

The drive is very pretty with loads of quaint cafes along the way and caravans selling coffee. The roads get a bit scary with heaps of bends to negotiate in the heavy rain at times with heaps of over confident drivers right on my tail. I'm not exactly going slow either. Being the only route the the north part of the island, I am expecting this road to be like a major highway, but in reality it is just a small secondary road. Upon arriving in Kaikoura we arrive at our accommodation at the Alpine View Lodge. It is very cosy with all of us in just one room and there is definitely no alpine view. I wondered if we'd ever see any mountains while we're here due to the inclement weather. We have a bit of time to spare so go for a drive and discover a seal colony. I am dying to take some photos but the weather is bad and we are running out of time. We can always go back in the morning.

At the Whale Watching Centre we check in and are given a sea sickness warning. Full of first day holiday naive excitement I chose to ignore it and I assume we wouldn't get a full refund of the money (that could've been used to wipe out a small 3rd world countries debt) anyway. Hind sight is a wonderful thing, and I really SHOULD'VE at least asked. However, Mark Twain also said "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." I bet he didn't have to worry about a 6 metre swell just to see some whales that I could've seen on a perfectly nice day back in my home town of Albany, Western Australia. Well the boys don't get to see any whales, just a lot of vomit. I, on the other hand, see a bit of both. Refusing to give in to the rising bile, I intersperse the experience by standing out on the desk trying not to miss the crucial breach that has to be caught by my camera, and then running back inside and lunging for the puke bag while the rest of my pathetic family lie about in the foetal position waiting for someone to end their life. I am never going to be employed by National Geographic without a picture of one of these whales in my portfolio. I'm still waiting for their call.

The puke boat returned to harbour and everyone soberly just manages to get their sea legs to go up the bus steps for the 10 minute trip back into town. It is a VERY quite trip. Even quieter when we get back to the office, akin to the quiet before the storm. Husband announces he's lost the car keys. At this point, I am very tired, very weak, exceptionally emotional, and EXTREMELY angry. I envisage the end of trip before it has even began. He is still in the foetal position and can't even be bothered to make amends to fix the problem so it was left up to me to sort it all out. The office workers who are about to leave for the day can't get hold of the guy who is meant to be locking up at the marina, so one of them ends up driving there. I remember how I didn't even tell him where we were sitting and he didn't have our mobile number either. Hubby says he thinks it fell out while he was getting his Ipod out ('to make me feel better' he said, so he couldn't have been THAT sick). I felt like ramming his f*%#@*g Ipod right where it probably didn't fit. If he wasn't so addicted to that thing, this would never have happened.

The man came back with keys in hand and I could've kissed him but I don't think he would've appreciated my puky breath. Needless to say, the rest of the evening was a very quiet one until my fury had managed to subside by the next morning.....until the forgotten groceries incident.

---

Photos

Humpback Whale
I like this photo despite the lack of real interest. A massive tail sticking out of the water on a bright clear day with water dripping of it would've been a bit more interesting! © Adrianne Yzerman

Breaching Humpback Whale
Won't quite make it to the cover of National Geographic. © Adrianne Yzerman

6 Metre Swell
As the title suggests. This was the reason for the puke fest. © Adrianne Yzerman

Riccarton Markets
Men inspecting the tools at Riccarton Markets. © Adrianne Yzerman