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Published: March 22nd 2018
Day 25: Mossburn to Bluff, 137km. All’s well that ends well.
The Donkey did not have a good night sleep at the Railway Hotel in Mossburn. As soon as he put his tired head on his pillow he heard a loud noise coming from the room next door which he identified as a snoring pig. He was sure it was a pig as the snoring was loud, very loud. The Donkey bonked on the wall with his hoof but the snoring became even louder. He put earplugs in but could still hear it; he put his pillow over his head rather than under it but that did not help much either, He must have fallen asleep at some stage as when was woken at 5 a.m. by the snoring next door he remembered that he had a bad dream about chainsaws. The Donkey got up, made himself a strong coffee and did some administration, had breakfast and got ready to hit the road one last time, which he did at first light around 7.30. It was cold, bloody cold, and good old Drizzle was out there keeping Cold company. The Donkey had four layers of clothing on, three layers of
cycling pants as well as gloves, a balaclava and his ridiculous looking helmet hat to keep his head dry. It was all to no avail, after half an hour he was frozen to the bone. He stopped and swung his arms around and stamped his hoofs to get the blood flowing through his four limbs. He got back on the bike and the drizzle slowly eased and patches of blue sky appeared overhead and the temperature went from zero to more tolerable and the Donkey could feel his hoofs again and started to make progress.
Headwind was only light, the Donkey wondered if he was tired from all the work he had done the previous day and needed a rest. Best of all was that there was mainly asphalt roads and no hills anywhere to be seen. This was serious aerobar country. The Donkey likes to use his aerobars when he can and today he could use them all day. The Donkey reached Winton, the halfway mark, just before midday and he stopped and had some bacon and eggs on toast. Just after Winton Showpony made a surprise appearance and joined the Donkey for the last stretch to Bluff, which made the Donkey very happy as they had started together and now they were going to finish together, something had gone wrong somewhere in between but that did not matter now anymore. The two friends arrived at Stirling Point, just South of Buff, their end destination, at 4 p.m. It was an emotional time for the Donkey and Showpony and Showpony’s missus, who was there as well, and they shook hoofs and there were hugs and general celebrations.
Spot was quietly observing proceedings and did not join in as bikes have little emotion, except when someone comments on the size of their tires. Spot is of course the real hero of the story as The Donkey realised that he could not have done it without Spot who had never missed a beat except for the day that he let his front tire and thereby the Donkey down, not once but twice, but that was because his master had made an insensitive remark about the size of his tires, but they both got over it and Spot carried on doing the best for his master for the remaining days.
The Donkey was interviewed by the assembled press, had his picture taken with all and sundry, signed hundreds if not thousands of autographs and received congratulatory calls from Princess Jacinda, Putin (the Russian Bear), the Queen of England and the King of Holland. Donald, the arrogant rooster from America was also waiting on line but the Donkey did not want to speak with him. What did the rooster think, with a name like Donald he should be a duck. The Donkey decided not to speak with Donald till he changed his plumage
Let’s bike back to Christchurch, the Donkey suggested to Showpony with a serious look on his face. Showpony’s eyes went twice their normal size and his nostrils went pale till he realised his friend was having him on and they had a good laugh. In reality the Donkey knew that if he would do one more pedal stroke he could well have a heart attack and die.
The Donkey promised Spot that he would bring him to a good therapist to get checked out. Showpony and the Donkey are planning to go to pasture, at least for a while, and live happily ever after, which is bullshit of course, as the Donkey had learned through experience that there is always a crisis lurking around the corner, but for the moment he quite liked the idea, so they all lived happily ever after (mostly).
Tot: 0.807s; Tpl: 0.051s; cc: 13; qc: 48; dbt: 0.0271s; 1; m:saturn w:www (22.214.171.124); sld: 2;
; mem: 1.3mb