Part 6: Coromandel & Hot Water Beach

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Woke up slightly sunburnt from our trip to waiheke island, and I finally needed to pull some money out of a Westpac bank (no service fees, which is important given I'm a cheapskate). We easily made our way out of Auckland due to my superior skills as a navigator (though Alison was a pretty solid driver). We stopped to get some supplies and steal McDonald's wifi for the 5th time of this trip. A very helpful local hooked us up with a map and sent us on our way to Coromandel town in the Coromandel Peninsula.



Then. All hell broke loose.



If you've ever driven through the Rockies on a road trip to BC, you may have some idea of how windy roads can get. Especially in winter, driving to Fairmont can be quite a challenge. Comparing driving through the Rockies to driving the Coromandel peninsula is like comparing driving a go kart to driving a racecar...impossibly different.



First you are on the left side of the road. You never truly get comfortable doing this (maybe in a few months time you do). It goes from being insane, to terrifying, to disconcerting, then back to terrifying, then to nervousness...it never really goes below that. Add that to the fact that the Coromandel highways are single lane, through massive mountain regions mixed with dense rainforest canopy (which conveniently blocks your view around sharp corners), while the speed limit changes from 40 to 80 then back to 40 over the course of 100 m, as massive semis containing milk (we started counting....we passed approximately 24 dairy trucks in a single day of driving...in a tiny mountain roadway), as insane cyclists barrel down the mountain and weave into your lane, while your massive camper van threatens to tip on every sharp corner...let's just say it's pretty insane.



As Alison was who the vehicle was registered to, she had to drive. And she killed it. She did incredibly well, even when she had a million different things making it fairly impossible to drive. Good job Alison, as I probably would have sent us off a cliff.



We made it to Coromandel and had some oysters and scallops for the first time in our lives. Very delicious, but the town itself was incredibly boring so we quickly moved on to Hot Water Beach. When we made it, we spent a few hours enjoying the sun, I drove the van a bit (shh don't tell), and we booked a campervan site at a little holiday park. Now onto a little geology lesson...



Hot Water Beach is so named because it has a fairly incredible little geological oddity that defines it. During low tide, you can walk out onto the beach and dig a shallow hole. Water beneath the sand seeps up into the hole you've created...but not just regular ocean water. This water filters up from two underground fissures located close to each other, where it is heated by volcanic rocks. The temperature can reach as hot as 64 degrees Celsius. However, low tide can happen at some pretty random times and we learned that we wouldn't be able to dig a hole until around midnight. We decided to go to nearby Hahei Beach to do the Cathedral Cove wlalk before going out for supper.



The Cove walk took about an hour, but it was so worth it. The walk itself goes through some tropical forest and reminded me of being on the tv show LOST. If you are a LOST fan, you'll know what I am talking about. We made it to the Cove, which is a little beach next to these ancient-looking rocks that have been shaped over millions of years to look kind of like a cathedral wall. To get to the hidden beach, you have to race around a corner of a massive cliff before the tide comes in and slams you into the cliff wall. It took Al a few tries before she got around the corner in time. On the hidden side, people from hundreds of different cities and nations write their name and country of origin in limestone on the cliff wall. We wrote our names and took some pictures then walked back to the car.



We then ate the most incredible meal of the entire trip, so far. Hot Water Beach only has one cafe/restaurant, run by a family. We ordered a vegetarian burrito and beef nachos (I know, doesn't sound delicious)...but they were classy nachos. The most insanely good nachos either of us have had. We decided it was time to treat yo self (for any Parks and Rec fans) and buy some desserts. We ordered cookie and cream cheese cake, and a apple & date cake. They were what the french call a certain je ne sais pas. Incredible.



When we made it back to our camper van, Al proceeded to pass out (as did I, but not before setting an alarm). Wehn the alarm woke me up, I could not rouse Alison enough to get her to come to the beach (too cold she said), so I walked there myself.



And thus began my incredible hot water adventure.



I walked down the street in the general direction of the beach, having no clue where I was supposed to dig a hole. No streetlights. Half moon and stars were my only source of light beyond the tiny LED flashlight I brought. Nothing more terrifying than walking down an abandoned street at night as you hear crickets and waves. Or so I thought.



Upon making it to the beach I read a map and releaized I was nowhere near I needed to be. A massive river feeding into the ocean blocked me from simply walking over to the part of the beach I neeeded, so I had to back track and look for a bridge. Thinking I found one, I walked through a field before realizing I had simply taken an extremely long way back to the exact same spot. Damn.



So I walked back again, my resolve starting to weaken as I grew colder. But I came to hot water beach to bathe in hot water and I wasn't going to let some stupid river stop me. So I kept walking until I found...the path. (Cue tense, dramatic music). A sign pointed me towards a Maori Pa walkway....a traditional Maori tribal village/defense centre that is completely terrifying at night. Picture the deepest, darkest forest you can. Now add crashing waves, wind rustling the leaves, spider webs all over, and the knowledge that the spirit of Maori natives still haunt their Pa sites (or so I had been told). I don't know what kept me going, but I eventually made it through this massive forest path and it opened out onto the beach. I finally heard other people's voices, so I walked towards them. I realized my light would probably annoy everyone so I clicked it off, and stumbled semi-blind towards the sound of the voices. I eventually realized I was standing right beside a massive hole that about 15 people had dug out. It appeared they had all come together and pooled their resources to dig out one big hot pool, rather than make several smaller ones. So I whipped off my hoodie and stepped in without a word to anyone, assuming they would be cool with me joining.



It took my eyes about 2 minutes to adjust to the darkness. Once they finally did, I finally came to a realization that probably should not have taken so long.



Everybody was naked.



Every person was rocking birthday suits, from the middle aged Swedish couple across from me, to the numerous hippies on my right. It became clear that I was the only one wearing a swimsuit. But at that point I felt self conscious not about going anked, but about getting back out just to take it off (because I was too unobservant to realize that was basic protocol). I tried to make conversation with the group next to me so I asked the girl beside if there was a quicker way to get off the beach and back to the holiday park. She giggled then asked if I was from Caaaanaaddaa. I confirmed it and she laughed again, then turned away. I came to my second realization (also an insanely slow one to make), that all of the hippies were incredibly high. Including their leader, the hairiest, most dreadlocked human being I have ever seen.



When everyone starting packing it in, I hopped out and slunk away, embarassed at being the only clothed human in a several kilometer range. And thuse ends my hot water beach adventure...fully clothed, hauling ass back through the scary forest to escape the hippies.

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