A Southern Hemispherical Tale - Part 1

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Out for a Sunday Drive

Hey Guys

Well, I know ive been neglecting the blog, but its all been rather hectic since my last tales were bestowed upon those unfortunate enough to be able to access the internet.
I think I had come back from Queenstown the last time I wrote, as a young man (well, relatively speaking), with a head full of dreams but with pockets full of holes i had been invigorated by the south island scenery, this was soon knocked out of me after a couple of weeks back in Auckland (or after several beer soaked leaving dos - I cant quite remember which came first), but I was soon to find myself in the thick of it once more.

Two weekends after my Queenstown Adventure, it was the New Zealand Leg of the WRC (World Rally Championship for those not initiated). It was a rainy Saturday morning when me and my fellow chums jumped into the rolla (Toyota Co-rolla), at some ungodly hour (way before 9am anyway) with our provisions (an umbrella, some maps I’d nicked off the internet, half a bottle of L&P and a brace of steak’n cheese pies). After picking Kingsley up inside the A&E department at North Shore General Hospital - don’t ask me why (he was actually supposed to meet us outside) we headed back across the Auckland Harbour Bridge and down to the Waikato to an uncertain destination, uncertain as although we’d got the rally route maps, we’d neglected to get any maps that directed us to the maps I’d nicked, right then.. nice one!.

After blame had been laid, some well chosen curse words had been espoused, a lot of head scratching and a bacon and cheese ‘topper’ at the Service Station, we managed find our way to the first stage which we eventually reached at speeds *in excess* of 70km per hour. It wasn’t until I spotted headlights in my rearview mirror, the like of which would have had even industrial light & magic impressed, that I realised that we were between stages of the rally. Although the ‘professional’ driver behind clearly had no idea of the immense power that i could unleash, just by merely feathering the throttle in my late 87 model,1498cc, 230000km ‘se’ corolla’ sedan, with overdrive, I thought I’d give the young whippersnapper a break and waved him past.

So, as anyone who has been to a rally knows, after parking up , the first 10 minutes is usually spent diving over fences only to be submerged knee high in muddy pools of water, in a quest to find a decent vantage point. Saturday wasn’t any different in this respect, the only saving grace being that we got to be in the presence of both Valentino Rossi and Petter Solberg as they were inspecting their cars, and removing sections of bodywork from there vehicles that had become partially unattached at the last speed bump. Tsk, foreign cars eh?

We were as close to them as I am to this computer, but daren’t ask for a cheesy photo. There was almost no-one else there, this is New Zealand and its just great like that, you seem to fall over celebrities even whilst taking the recycling out. I spotted Helen Clarke, PM in the local foodtown supermarket the other night, I’d just popped in to buy some coromandel green-lipped mussels, she’d popped in for some cask wine, nothing wrong with that.

So anyway, after containing our adoration we spent the day driving around the sodden waikato countryside, taking refuge for lunch at the legendary Rangiriri Hotel on State Highway 1 which serves up hearty meals on plates the size tractor hub caps. After lunch, we managed to our credit to find the longest possible route to reach the next stage. It was a bit more commercial than the early morning stage, they had even arranged catering by way of the local cocky’s (farmers) wife handing out mean looking sausages and sauce from a converted horsebox, yep- it was all a bit flash!

But it was a good day, and if I hadn’t of hurt my knee jumping over a fence for some free programmes, I could say it all went without ointment, I mean… incident. We retired to Galbraiths Alehouse on Mt Eden Rd that evening for a few jars, but we were all bit shattered.

The weekend after, I’d kept an eye on the weather and headed up north in the direction of Hokianga harbour, stopping for a good sunburning opportunity at Mangawhai Heads on the way up (an area of spectacular coastline) which is currently being subdivided for new luxury housing development for Wealthy Aucklanders-Great. I continued up to Whangarei and detoured via the backroads inland to the three bridges highway up to Kaikohe, a real taste of backcountry New Zealand. The weather was fantastic, and they even have drystone walling up north, squint a bit and you could have been in the pennines (on a good day). The road is lined with run-down out-of-the-way places, and pretty little churches seemingly located a long way form their congregations.

I made it to the ferry at Rawene that crosses Hokianga harbour for about 5.30, the other traffic being mostly farmers utes and 4x4s, you always look conspicuous in these parts driving anything else. Managed to get the last bed at the tree-house backpackers, I had stayed here before some years ago, and nothing had changed apart from the hens had been removed from the garage which I remember previously had laid eggs in every conceivable place. Had a very relaxing evening watching possums dart across the roofs and chatting with some girls from Auckland. In the morning I headed back to civilisation via some real back-roads, it was another scorcher,

The next weekend, Me, Dave and a couple of guys from work had arranged some kayaking on the Mahurangi River at Warkworth which was great, another beautiful day. We were directed to an old mill dam for a swim, it was freezing-but crystal clear, meanwhile we’d left our kayaks on the bank and the tide had come in, which prompted a swift rescue of a couple of them from down river on our return, it was real Last of the Summer Wine Stuff, although no men in tin bathtubs were involved!. This was also the weekend when, as you’ll remember, England was doing quite well in the second test at Adelaide, but we’ll say no more about that!.

In the meantime, I had been arranging my departure from my current abode, without going into detail, a number of housemates had left, or were leaving which would have left us in a bit of a pickle over xmas, so we decided to cut our losses and each find somewhere new to live. We had to have a leaving party though, and apart from other entertainments which cannot be elaborated on in this forum, someone bless them, had brought singstar for the playstation along, as no stranger either to the microphone or to the dancefloor, some rugs were certainly ‘cut’ that weekend. Needless to say, sunday was very slow, just right for having a few light ales and watching the cricket.

So that takes me up to xmas, as usual, I managed to squeeze two Christmas parties, one of which for those who know me was a ‘bus of events’ version of my infamous ‘train of events’ (I’ll have to provide a glossary at some point). After having dinner in Devonport across the harbour, we were whisked to various hostelries on the north shore, including the Historic Puhoi Tavern. You can imagine the shock of the locals as a bus load of drunken planners descended on them!. I’m sure along the way I saw the driver in a few of the bars, but I tried to put it to the back of my mind (it was a bit of a jolly boys outing). A very drunken occasion all around, a few casualties but nobody died so all was well.

This was topped off by a Departmental drinks fest at the town hall the week after, where our bar staff just kept filling the fridges. I did however contribute more than just my guzzling abilities though over the festive season, I was one of the ACE carol singers on the last day of work, giving everyone within our building and the local cafes a good blast of Christmas cheer, I know you all wish you could have been there.

Well, that brings me up to the start of my last adventures, which are not too far away. Come back soon, I’ll have even added photos.

Glossary:

ACE - Auckland City Environments, my employer

L&P - Lemon & Paeroa, a fizzy lemon drink traditionally accompanying fish&chips

Topper - A kind of hash brown, but more soggy, normally potato, corn and some other unidentified substances included

Cask Wine - Whats left after they’ve siphoned off the cheap stuff.

Singstar - Home Karaoke

Train of Events - Annual-ish train based pub crawl, previous years have included Manchester-Sheffield, Manchester Sheffield via Penistone and Barnsley, and Manchester-Leeds…at least interregional if not international

The Jolly Boys Outing - Infamous Only Fools and Horses Special, trip to Margate-Classic stuff

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Comments

[AL]

hey hey
nice one steve - just read this at 7am - brightened my day right up!