Crimes Against Humanity

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We prepared our visa applications last night. I forgot the silly questions that they ask. I've already mentioned the one where they try to trick you in to revealing that you're a terrorist. I didn't mention that there is also a question where they want you to let them know (in an off hand casual kind of way) whether or not you have ever committed genocide or crimes against humanity. I'm really not kidding. It's right there. Much more subtle is the paragraph where they tell you that you can't ever have this visa if you've already had it before, followed by a question where you tell them how many months you have already worked in the UK or if you've held this visa before. This question is made more interesting by the guideline which comes with it that says that answers such as "-", "N/A" or "None" are not acceptable. So, this trick question is really quite tricky. If you answer yes you have held this visa or give a time frame when you worked, you are no longer eligable for the visa. You are forbidden from answering no. This is where diplomacy comes in to play. Since the definition of diplomacy is "The ability to tell someone to go to Hell, in such a way that they look forward to the trip", I wrote a sentance which could be summarised as "-", "N/A" or "None". However, since it was diplomatic (hopefully) it will ok.

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