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Published: August 10th 2010
So. We are 19 days away from leaving for Madrid. Given the luxury nature of travel today it should be a pleasant journey. I've seen the ads on TV. On airplanes everyone smiles, eats lovely food and drinks champagne. They arrive at their destinations refreshed, invigorated and ready to holiday.
In the past we have seemed to have missed these planes. We have not missed long queues, rude officials, constant searches, crappy food, lack of alcohol, cramped conditions or unbelievably smelly toilets. We have not missed arriving at our destinations totally knackered, grumpy and generally pissed off with humanity in general.
This time it will be different! This time we will get the treatment we deserve. I see it like this. We will arrive at the sumptious Perth airport and walk directly to the Air Asia counter where we will be greeted by courteous staff. Two minutes later, bags and boarding passes all sorted, we will go upstairs and find a pleasant bar and eatery where we will wait for the others to arrive. After a tasty snack washed down by an excellent but remarkably cheap cocktail the six of us will walk to the customs area and immediately enter the departure lounge. We will barely be seated when we will be called to board our aircraft.
Our newly refurbished, almost empty airplane will take off on time and swiftly fly us to Kuala Lumpur. During the flight we will be feted by friendly staff and arrive in the early evening ready for a break. We will go immediately to our Transit Hotel, have a refreshing shower and then head into the terminal building for a cheap, nourishing and satisfying meal followed by a nap in our room. At 2.00 that morning we will leave KL after rapidly boarding our Qatar Airways flight to Dohar. We will sleep deeply for the entire seven hour flight.
After a brief toilet break in the Dohar Terminal - renowned as being as good as Dubai but without the amenities - we will board our final 7 hour flight to Madrid. Again we will sleep most of the way, waking only to partake in a wonderful meal before landing. Within 15 minutes of landing we will be whisked to our luxury apartment - exactly as described on it's webpage - and begin our wonderful adventure.
This is what we have planned for for 2 years and we WILL get it! I'll let you know if the plan has any inherent weaknesses after we put it to the test.........
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