Road To Nowhere

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Cooee Campers,

We've been camping it up all week as Mrs Deane has been telling you all about. We set out to buy the most manly, macho, grandiose tent that money could buy. But as that money only amounted to a fiver we ended up with that red and yellow excuse for a tent. Well, it's still standing and is fully waterproof following our rigourous testing in the rain and wind.

It's been a little like an English summer over here in some ways. Hovers somewhere between 20 and 25 and random showers of rain (generally when I am trying to put up or take down the tent). Our road trip has continued unabated though and we are now nestled in Albany on our last night of camping (for at least a week). Back up to Perth tomorrow. In total we will have done just a little over 1500km in 8 days so not too bad going.

Woke up in the small town of Augusta. In the rain. When it stopped, I ventured out for a shower so the rain started again. Then stopped just long enough for me to attempt to take the tent down again. And then it started again. The rage was beginning to grow. As soon as I got the sodden tent down, the rain stopped. Someone, somewhere was playing a cruel joke on me. It wasn't even April Fool's day.

Oh, well. Off again on the driving tour. Off down to Cape Leeuwin first which is the most South westerly point of Oz. Very rugged. Lots of rocks and a lighthouse and this is where the Indian ocean meets the Southern ocean. After that it was a long lonely drive. 140km to the next stop. We passed through one town, saw only 30 cars and even passed a sign telling us the next fuel was in 130km. Pemberton was a very small one horse town. Not the most pretty but the scenery around it was beautiful.

We headed off to the one of the Karri forests (as Mrs Deane informed you - very big trees) and got to the Gloucester tree, a 62m tall monster that towers over the rest of the forest. Used as a fire spotter tree this means that you can climb it. Mrs Deane was too much of a chicken but I gave it a go. Tough work, very tough even though there are nice metal poles to help you up. View at the top was really good. Had some lunch and saw loads of really tame bright coloured parrots eating tourist bread.

The rest of the day was driving through all the Southern forests of Karri & Tingle trees (Tingle ones are not quite as tall but with much more girth - please see photos for examples). Really nice drive and probably covered a few hundred km's and only passed through one town (Northcliffe) on our way to the coast at Walpole.

When we landed in Walpole we grabbed a spot at the caravan site and set off in search of food. Mrs Deane wanted rice or pasta or some other nonsense. I wanted meat. Meat won the day as the town only has about 300 people and everywhere was shut at 6pm apart from one shop that sold meat. Got some nice steaks and sausages and I served up a bbq'd treat with bbq sauce, bread and onions. Carbs overload saw us retire for sleep very contented. More rain in the night to test the tent but it's still standing. More rain in the morning to test my patience taking the tent down and it's wearing thin.

One of the other guys in the park obviously felt sorry for us and offered us a cup of tea to help us warm up. Our tent must really look pitiful. I never realised camping was such a macho thing. Some guys needed trucks to tow their triple decker caravans. Others had tents bigger than our house in England. We had a kids tent. Shameful.

We spent most of the day trying to dodge the very random downpours interspersed with beautiful sunshine. Very much like spring in England but a little warmer. Did a really nice scenic drive round Walpole and then headed off to the Giant Tingle tree. About 12km east it had a hole in it big enough to fit a car. We didn't try. Most of the trees here are enormous.

Carried on next to the Valley of the Giants. Yep, you guessed it, more big trees. But this time there's a 40m high walkway so you can stroll through the clouds with the trees all around you. Really good and luckily we didn't slip off.

Probably had a bit of an overload on big trees so headed down to the coast next as the weather was beginning to get better (a little). And would you believe it, we landed in a different country. Denmark. Headed off to Greens Pool, a sheltered, turquiose bay just inviting me into the water. Mrs Deane was also invited but thought it a little chilly as she sat on the side with two jumpers on. I dived straight in and set off snorkelling with the fishies and my new toy camera trying my hardest to get some decent pictures of the fish. Still need some practice though.

In the late afternoon sunshine we rolled into Albany, our final destination. Pulled into a caravan park and started to pitch the tent. Yes, it started raining again. A man could begin to think someone is against him camping out here. Walked into town and had a quick gander around before diving into a pub (microbrewery - bonus) for a drink. Tea was at another pub and was delicious. Pie & a pint for 20 dollars for me (enormous serving) and lasagna and wine for Mrs Deane. Walked back via the offy for a 4l box of red (can you believe they sell this for 10 dollars!!! - Mrs Deane, very happy).

Albany is really nice and you could spend ages here. Unfortunately the car is due back so we had a whistle stop tour of two days. First we headed off to the Torndurrup National Park to see all the rocky stuff. This is where Australia used to be joined to Antarctica in one big continent called Middle Earth or something like that the sign said. Anyway, The Gap was a big gap. But much cooler than that. Basically a 30m drop where the sea just pounds in. Waves were enormous and the spray was catching us 30m above.

The Natural Bridge (not to be confused with the unnatural one made of wood to reach it) was a big rock natural bridge that over time will turn into another gap. We didn't have the neccessary 40million years to hang about and find out though.

And then off to the blowholes. Cracks in rocks that the waves spurt up and shoot steam out of kind of like a whale blow hole. Very treacherous to get to (especially as it started to rain again). They were very cool but not something you can take a photo of. You'll just have to imagine a whale made of rock stood on the edge of a cliff.

Headed off for lunch at Whalers Cove and it appeared that the weather was improving a little. Final call of the day was up to the hills overlooking Albany to see everything we had just been visiting but a little more elevated. Tea was meat again - marinaded steak and chicken satay skewers served up with some potatoes and veg. We're getting pretty good at this camping lark now.

Final day proper of the road trip was a beach and rest day. We hand selected 3 beautiful deserted beaches and just chilled. Weather was beautiful and we spent a couple hours on each beach and driving between them. Little Beach first at Two People's Bay was stunning with more blinding white sand and turquoise water. Then off to Nannarup with an enormous expanse of sand for lunch and ended the day at Ledge Bay.

It was a tough, exhausting day, enough to take it out of the most experienced camper. Therefore we are off to have pizza and polish off that 4l box of wine. Tomorrow is a straight 420km drive back to Fremantle to hand the car back for 4pm and then a quick hop over to Perth for the next few days.

Until next time, carry on camping,

Dame Edna & Mrs Deane

Loads of beer reviews to go as I'm catching up on Mrs Deane's blog:

Beer 50: Emu Bitter, Australia, Draught, 4.5%, 7.5, not bad, had several as they were on special

Beer 51: Coopers Sparkling Ale, Australia, Bottle, 5.8%, 8.0, Tasted good, but then again I had had quite a few Emus

Beer 52: Melbourne Bitter, Australia, Bottle, 4.6%, 6.0, Calls itself a bitter but it's just an average lager

Beer 53: Cascade Pale Ale, Australia, Draught, 5.0%, 8.0, That's more like it

Beer 54: Bootleg Brewery Amber Light, Australia, Draught, 2.7%, 6.0, weak and nothing special

Beer 55: Bootleg Brewery Sou'West Wheat, Australia, Draught, 4.7%, 7.5, better than the previous

Beer 56: Bootleg Brewery Wils Pils, Australia, Draught, 4.9%, 6.5, just an average lager

Beer 57: Bootleg Brewery Tom's Brown Ale, Australia, Draught, 4.0%, 7.5, a very good version of Newccy Brown

Beer 58: Bootleg Brewery Settlers Pale Ale, Australia, Draught, 4.8%, 8.5, Excellent stuff and Mrs Deane concurred

Beer 59: Bootleg Brewery Raging Bull, Australia, Draught, 7.1%, 8.0, a big stonking stout to finish a very boozy day

Beer 60: Coopers Mild Ale, Australia, Bottle, 3.5%, 7.0, just ok

Beer 61: Pure Blonde, Australia, Bottle, 4.6%, 7.0, low carb beer, tasted alright

Beer 62: Tanglehead Pale Ale, Australia, Draught, 4.8%, 8.0, Another good microbrewery pub with decent beer

Beer 63: Beez NeezHoney Ale, Australia, Draught, 4.7%, 7.5, A lager tinged with honey, should have been even nicer

Beer 64: James Boag's Premium Lager, Australia, Bottle, 5.0%, 7.5, As recommended by beer veteran Mr C. H. Everton, a good beer Chevy

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