Joe Blogs - A Spot of Cane Toad Racing

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Last night, we thought we would pop into Port Douglas for a couple of tinnies and maybe some Cane Toad Racing. We strolled down to the beach and took a couple of pictures of the mangroves and metallic starlings, then popped into Ironbar for a drink and something to eat.

The place was in an uproar. I thought it was a football match or something, but no, fortunately for us, it was Cane Toad Racing night.

Running that night were Jerry Springer, Fat Bastard, Gay Freddie, Pigeon Toad, Shagging Camel Toad and Aussie, Aussie, Aussie. The favourite was Fat Bastard. Not entirely sure of the rules, but you had to bid to be toad-jockey first. Then, once you had your mount, you had to kiss it (I understand Cane Toads are toxic) and then, on starters orders, encourage your toad to move using only a party blower.

The overall winner was, of course, Fat Bastard (someone told me he always wins).

Now then, you may have concerns from an animal rights perspective here, however, if you consider the alternative, this may colour your perspective. Cane toads are actually considered vermin as they destroy a lot of crops (they were originally introduced to control pests on sugar cane, only the main pests for sugar cane are rabbits (and toad don’t burrow), and flying insects (and toads don’t climb or fly)). They proliferated on a massive scale and now destroy hundreds of thousands of dollar’s worth of crops a year. A number of firms have sprung up who go out and “harvest” the toads, liquidise them, and sell the resultant goo as fertiliser (which comes highly recommended).

So, when you put it like that, what would you rather do? Be liquidised or go to the pub three nights a week. Makes you think doesn’t it?

Anyway, took a couple of pictures of interesting beer for Craig and left feeling that we had explored yet another uncharted territory of Australian life.

Stool Alert

Buckshot – strangely.

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Comments

[Sogyal Rinpoche]

Toads
I would have voted for Camel Toe(^Had)