day 10 of 24 - brightness

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6.30am. its early. too bloody early. i check my clothes and luckily most of them are kinda dry. We gear up and go to the orientation spot. everybody is standing around in a gaze. There are men in black shirts barking orders at faces that hold no answers or natural volition. I grab aaron to help get the tents ready. i figure its a lot better than hanging around the zombie fields. Shortly, we have our tents examined and bundled, and the rest of our groups preparations are complete. We load up the truck, and head out. 3 of us in the front seat, and the remaining 8 of us squashed in the back. It's already fun.

We take a 15min drive to the port. It's still a little awkward in the group because we're mostly strangers, but everyone seems quite approachable. (save the model-esque looking english girl, karen - snob). We board and enjoy the 25mins boat ride to the island. It's huge. It looks like it's part of the mainland. It looks untouched, barely a noticeable trace of human existence. its scary and exhilarating. We're able to bond further with some of the girls in our group, and some people from the other groups. It feels like its going to be a fun bunch. We finally get to the otherside and disembark. There's nothing around except a shed and the open sand roads leading into the bush. We race down. Its bumpy. its wild. we're all shreaking and grabbing ahold of anything that might support us. We're all hysterically laughing.

We make our way to our first destination. Lake Mckenzie. It's breathtaking. because the island is a sand island, this lake has crystal blue waters. Its freshwater. It looks like a beach. The water tastes pure. There's nothing living in it. No nasties. It's simply heavenly. Upon arrival i find myself sitting and gazing into it's beauty. Basking heavily on it's brilliance and the creator who made it so. In these moments i find myself in a social isolation. Wondering. Thinking of a mulitutude of things in my life, but focusing on the beauty of this miracle. In this gazing moment, and like many i would have on this trip, i notice her stealing a moment to look at me; Louise, this very pretty bronzed swedish girl, who on her own has a quiet isolation about her - despite her rather inviting socialness. In many ways i care to ignore this. Defering to an attitude of ensuring a simplicity towards the state of my mind on this journey.

We all venture down to the great lake and arrive to a beach with a collection of other travellers - frolicking in the waters and sand of this oasis. To the mind it seems so surreal. Surrounded by bushland. Not a building or trace of civilization around. The day is perfect. Hot, but not scorching. only soft white clouds sparingly giving context and a certain beauty of its own to the rest of the created order. The dutch girl in our group offers me a cigarette as we sit on the beach, and it completely feels appropriate. In that moment, aj invites me to take a walk with a couple of the attactive english girls from our group. Though i feel compelled to at least make that situation condusive to him, i defer to a greater politeness to my new smoke companion and inform him i will try to find him later. With the last withering cloud from my nicotined appetizer, i venture to an empty segment of the beach. walk out into the waters and nestle myself into the soft sand bottom of that perfect water. i feel happy here. i don't want to leave. all the tourists seem to melt away, along with the things that worry me, concern me, obligate me. i privately pray in a gratitude to him. i privately soak it all in.

time passes. i look up to the spot where my group had originally planted, and i notice the bulk of them collected together; almost unnaturally as if to indicate something was happening. I make my way towards the group. Louise turns to me. "did you see the dingo?" in her kiwi/swedish accent. surprised i reply "Um...dingo? what dingo?". Fraser island has one of the highest concentrations of naturally existing dingo's in the country, and we have been warned before hand that they often interact with island visitors. She proceeds to tell me about how a dingo had come on to the beach. everyone had frozen. not scared but curious and in awe (probably because they had never seen one). It apparently walked up to a girl, and in an instant took her handbag into its mouth and darted into the bush. Upon her retelling the story to me, those around me oveheard and proceeded to show me their photos and movies of the encounter. I couldn't help but laugh over the situation. Everyone else seems to feel its an appropriately agreeable response.

We head back to our vehicle. I talk to louise on the way. I find her to be pleasant, but at times quiet and reserved. Nonetheless she has a sunniness to her disposition that is enjoyable to be around, not to mention her physical beauty. We get to the truck and we all load in. Louise sits next to me in the far back. The far back is easily the most bumpy in the vehicle. though most avoid it, i find it to be the most enjoyable (save from driving) seat there is. The group plan is to head to another lake (i forget the name) which is also reported to be as good, but is less famous then the former. We head that direction. As i sit along for the ride, i find louise resting her arm upon mine, body nestled in toward me. At first i think nothing of it. I periodically do an inventory of my arm and am surprised to find that my hand is resting on her exposed hip. Admittedly, i enjoy the contact, but as the vehicle moves and shakes along our bumpy path, our positions become dislodged. I suspect it to be an innocent happenstance. However, she repeatedly moves back into position as we travel along. A couple of times she turns, we meet eyes and smile at each other. I feel like i'm 15 years old again. Ha.

We arrive at our second destination, and again head down the path towards the beach. I go on ahead leading the group with aj. As the others immediately place their belongings on the first patch of sand, aj and i agree to find a spot under a tree. We lay out our towels and sit back. It seems like neither group is eager to jump into the water. the opportunity to kick back and relax (probably due to fatigue), seems are far better use of time. Aj and i get to talking. We talk about deep issues concerning our future. Particulary his. This is a good rare time between us. Aj is reserved naturally about his thoughts on the area, and the time together in this moment serves to create a better bond between us. After about 40mins, aj decides to leave me to take some photos of the surronding lake. I lay back. I look over to our group who had mostly seemed to be in sun-backing mode. I see louise and she's looking at me. In a moment she looks back down. In my solitute i begin to recall a movie that i liked, and how the artwork in it reminded of the place that i was in. I proceeded to draw fish and other sea-creatures into the sand - enjoying my regressive 5 year old state. I look back several more times to see if louise is still looking. i catch her eye once or twice more. I wonder to myself what was happening here. feeling compelled to go over and talk to her. knowing i could. but ultimately knowing that i should do one of 2 things. kill it, or take it. I resolve to do neither. i sit there and keep drawing. pretending like it didn't exist.

I think about the red head. And consider whether this was a picture of how i have been reconciling my action toward her. perhaps. i blink and think of everyman that had taken her, and how much i wanted to punch them in the gob. bleh...i let it go.

Aj returns, and we agree to get the group moving towards the designated camp site. Its the later part of the day now, and we know that we're going to need some time to set up camp. We're the first group to leave, we pass another group and they point us in a direction. We move. after a few close calls with trees and finally consulting our map, we discover we are infact going the wrong direction. We head back. We're all in good spirits and shrug our misdirection off. We also realise that perhaps the other cars in the group were headed into the wrong direction also. We end up passing a couple along the way. We're convinced we might be the only ones to end up at the right place. about 20 mins later we find the site. We're the only ones here. We laugh about the idea we might be the only ones who would be set up before nightfall. As we unload our truck, 2 more trucks arrive. We all have a good laugh about our poor navigating.

I take charge of the tents and start plotting our groups 'village' in the campground. i lay out everyones tent, and get to work on ours (mine, aj's and aarons). The contruction doesn't go very smoothly, as i find my co-dwellers are hopeless remiss to any real experience in the area. Before i know it, i'm approached by other members in the group, keen on the idea to errect a canopy in the trees and a centralized social area. For some reason it seems as though i've been elected to lead this effort. Abandoning the tent, i get to work with some of the other fellas. We try a few prototypes and quickly realise our limitations. Some more guys from the other groups catch wind and join us. We devise a system by combining our resources and end up creating a huge canopy, and we fit 3 large tables underneath. I head back to my tent, to find louise hammering in the final peg of a nicely pitched tent, where my abandoned disaster once stood. I praise and thank her, thinking impressed by her actions. Feeling hungry, i immediately set up our cooking stoves, get them all cleaned up and start cooking sausages. I look around and realise we're the first group to start cooking - at the seeming envy of all of the other groups.

The rest of the night seems a blur of song and drinking. I get to work early on our box wine (goon) and find myself very much in the middle of our discussions and fanfair. louise sits by me for a large part of the evening and i get to know the other swedish girls who are in the other group (all beautiful - bloody sweden). The other guys from our 'sister' group (the other 2 groups were boring...one nearly all poms, the other all yanks), mainly from europe were all wildly entertaining and we all became greater acquainted with one another. We played drinking games involving the cultures of all our respective places. What made the evening even more memorable was the fact we all relied heavily on the flashlights each group was provided (two per group). We all had not anticipated a lack of lighting (or the illegality of a camp fire). One by one, people began dropping off. It was hot, and there were a lot of bugs, but luckily i had covered myself up mostly. I recall louise retiring for the night, and before i knew it there was only about half a dozen of us left. It felt like 5am. I went to my tent. exhausted. drunk. but satisfied. I checked my watch. 12.15am. Ha. shit. The other 2 guys were asleep already. I closed my eyes. buried my head in a sweater.

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