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Published: January 16th 2009
After experiencing the bus driver smashing into a traffic lights 16 seconds after departing from Townsville ("Sorry about that folks, we'll should have a safe trip to Airlie Beach as there aren't many more traffic lights for me to hit!") we arrived at Airlie Beach where we were due to catch our sailing trip to the Whitsunday Islands. Luckily he didn't hit any more traffic lights or Kangaroos on the way so we arrived safely as predicted. Another quality film on the bus in the form of Nancy Drew was on the menu. The greyhound movie selection is a bit tame as there are families about but the Oz Experience bus (kind of an 18-30's tour bus) had been playing Wolf Creek, a film based on true events of people being murdered while backpacking in Australia! Classic! Think Lizzie would've booked the next flight home if she'd seen that.
Anyway, we managed to meet Ian Gaybank Maybank and his better half, Jemma, who we'd travelled through Africa with. They'd bought a Mitsubishi Lancer called lance and were traveling the East Coast themselves. We had a good few drinks and Ian got the most drunk he'd been in a while and
blamed the salad he'd had before they came out. Obviously. We were due out on our boat trip to the Whitsunday Islands the following afternoon but he somehow managed to be at his yacht for 8am, feeling a bit peaky. Our boat was the mighty Pegasus. An old, old wooden ship that was used in the civil war era (not really)
There were 24 of us on the boat with Greg the guide who explained to the two Germans on the boat that there will be "NO SPRECHEN SIE DEUTSCHE ON HIZ BOAT!" and that they were welcome to go against the trend of their natives and actually talk to other people. We had two Israeli guys who hung out with an Aussie chick who appeared to have an irrational fear of the Gillette Lady Shave and her leg hairs put the Israeli's to shame as they glistened in the moonlight on deck! A couple of Dutch girls from Groningen were on board while the rest of the crew were a group of Irish fellas to be sure to be sure, from Waterford, Jody and Lisa from Blackburn and Josh from Cambridge, who although looked very much like a
cross between Michael Owen and Leonardo Di Caprio on his driving license, had transformed over the years into Alan Carr. We'd later spend Christmas with Jody, Lisa and Alan!
Anyway, off we sailed under the guidance of Wazza the skipper and Shazza the cook! We headed straight to Hook Island where Captain Hook still lives and gets his hook from the same dealer as Heather Mills gets her leg. We moored up here for the night and after getting to know everyone on the boat with a few beers and goon (cheap wine in a box. 4quid = 4litres. The stuff of Aussie backpacking folklore). We had our sleeping bags in the hope that the weather would be good enough to sleep on deck and luckily the sky was clear. With no light pollution the stars were really clear and with no waves at all the night was perfect and an evening we won't forget. If any of you are fortunate enough to get here to do this then you must. If not, there are similar trips running on the famous Norfolk Broads, from where you can see the bright lights of Great Yarmouth and Roy's of Wroxham. Equally
stunning I can assure you!
I woke up alone on deck except for a Chewbacca's long lost Australian love child, as Lizzie headed back down into the honeymoon suite (presumably alone! Not sure if one of the Westlife boys joined her) as she was cold in the night! We were taken to Whitehaven Beach, which should have been called White HEAVEN beach (with stuff like this, I'll be up for the Nobel Literature prize in no time)! Seriously though, the place was paradise and we scoped the Islands from a viewpoint up on the hillside before donning our sexy stinger suits and settling on the beach. We jumped into the water, which for the first time since we'd been in Australia was actually cool and refreshing, the rest had been like bath water. We walked around the shallower water to find stingrays and saw a few measuring up to 2 and a half metres in length. After the tragedy that had hit Mr Steve Irwin, we made sure we didn't corner him, although Lizzie made sure she kept herself at a safe distance of 4 miles, just in case!
We had a very stressful near death experience on
our way back to the Pegasus in our dinghy that looked like it had been made by a five year old after seeing it on Blue Peter. Greg decided to smash it into the side of Pegasus instead of mooring up alongside it and we then drifted out, filling with water. Lizzie, after seeing hours of Bear Grylls, sprung into survival mode and with lightning reactions and ingenuity secured the electrical items in a carrier bag and tying a knot so quickly and securely a boy scout would have been proud. Luckily, we were rescued by the crew of another ship who came over in their 5-star dinghy (intact, fully functional engine and more importantly air in it!).
The afternoon was spent snorkeling around another island and we saw possibly more than we would have if we'd gone scuba diving! The diversity of the fish life was unreal but our real aim was to find a turtle. We were not long about to swim back when I felt an excited tug on my stinger suit that nearly ripped it in two (box jellyfish proof, but obviously not Excited Lizmeister Proof). Below us was a turtle gliding through the water
Stinger Suits
Sexy lunge, model's ownso close we could have reached down and touched it, so we followed it for a minute or so before it headed down and off into the abyss. That was another highlight of our whole trip so we were as happy as two turtles on a beach. With my famous injury prone body cramping up after snorkeling for over an hour, we boarded the boat again while we waited for the scuba divers who had gone out for their first time. With an addiction to jumping from things developed on this trip, I hurled myself off the top of the boat into the sea (about 5 metres up) but in doing so took so much seawater into my sinuses it nearly came out my arse. Ears ringing! Not a good idea!
The evening meal on the boat was roast beef, potatoes, peas and gravy. ROAST BEEF, POTATOES, PEAS AND GRAVY! Lizzie, being the northern monkey she is ("oooooooh, gravy" she oozed), was loving it and so was I as it was the first time in months we'd had gravy! That lined our stomachs for party night on the boat including the snorkel bong (please see picture). Next morning was
a bit ropey for all, except Lizzie who had been sensible enough not to get hammered as we were due to go diving first thing. The hangover, plus the wind that had picked up led to the boat bobbing around a fair bit making a few of us queasy. As we suited up with our scuba gear, the cold sweats arrived and I lost a stone in fluid in the space of about seven minutes, and when I nearly wretched over the side, I decided that scuba diving would have to be shelved this time! It turned out that the visibility was awful but I still would have liked to get more experience in the water. Lizzie enjoyed the diving but didn't actually see anything other than a sea cucumber. I on the other hand swam with another turtle! Woohoo!
After a while snorkeling, I'd felt much better and decided to hop back on the boat, but after less than a minute of being back on deck, the fish were being fed on the starboard side. Really not a nice feeling! This was the extent of my final day, hung over the side of the boat like Puss in
Boots from Shrek having problems with hair balls. However, my sea sickness disappeared for a whopping 60 seconds when a school of about 15 dolphins came to the boat and swam alongside on the way back, jumping out of the water and just having fun. Again, one of our highlights. They disappeared before my stomach remembered it wasn't happy and I made myself comfortable again over the starboard side.
Back at the hostel we still felt like we were on the boat, sea legs firmly in place, and after replenishing our stomachs with a big mac meal (which, by the way are the best big macs I've ever had. They make them fresh to order you see.) Lizzie and I went for a lie down. Lizzie very nearly fell off the bed, thinking she was on the boat. A kind of had to be there moment but it was like someone had just pushed her over. Classic. That night we headed out for a night out with the group. The next day, we booked our trip to Fraser Island and, despite having another night booked, we decided to make up a day by taking the overnight bus that evening
to Hervey Bay, from where we start our trip to the Island. We caught the bus at midnight and arrived at 1pm the following day with the fattest pregnant feet ever. Luckily we managed to get some sleep under our belts and there were no dribbling monks in sight!
So, up we were at 5:30am the next day to go and pick up Shane, our Toyota Hi-Lux, the indestructible automobile made famous by Clarkson, Hammonds and May, although we weren't planning on turning it into a Toyboata. We headed to the ferry port and managed to reverse this huge thing onto the ferry with great difficulty (not like driving Betsy, my Peugeot 106) and were on Fraser Island in no time.
Fraser Island itself is a huge sand island that has a 75 mile beach that can be driven on and people hire out 4x4 cars to travel and camp on the island. There's forest on the island and a network of sand tracks that join the beaches, small villages and the ferry port. Shane came complete with camping equipment, a spade to dig us out of the sand (and to hit dingoes on the head if we
need the toilet in the night and they come sniffing!) and an Esky cool box full of supplies (beer, goon and burgers). So we drove carefully off the ferry and onto the Island with the security deposit we'd laid down firmly in our minds! We headed straight to Lake Mackenzie after a brief stop off at central station to get our bearings. The Island holds a fifth of the world's perched lakes, which are absolutely pristine. We relaxed here for a while and found a random Christmas tree that some backpackers were taking with them. It was strange seeing a Christmas tree in white sand in front of a crystal clear lake, slightly different to Great Yarmouth market place!
We then made our way to the beach on the eastern side of the island. We were only allowed on at low tide, which was between 1:30pm and 5:30pm and were one of the first cars down there and this was an amazing feeling. Miles of golden sand in each direction, with nobody else in sight. Just Morgan, Lizmeister and Shane hurtling along the sand! It was the perfect moment for a bit of Chris Rea's "Driving home for Christmas".
Goodtimes! We drove up to Eli's creek and to the Maheno wreck, an old hospital ship used in the First World War that was then used as a luxury liner but beached in 1935. Apparently. Anyway, it looked nice but we couldn't wait to get driving again and off we went down the beach!
A few miles down the beach we were driving along merrily and noticed a car had pulled over to the dunes a few hundred metres ahead of us. We realised why when a plane flew just over us and landed in front of us on the sand. Obviously didn't check my mirrors! Whoops! We decided to camp at one of the lakes and after an hour's scenic drive at 5mph, nearly dark, 20minutes until high tide , arrived to find out there was no camping! So, with Lizzie having babies, and Shane and Ian McRae tired after a days driving since 7:30am, we decided to try and get to the beach before high tide and back to central station for the bight! An hour or so later, but in darkness, we called upon our Africa camping skills, which were astonishing! The organisation was army like
and we had our tent up, burgers cooking and beers open in no time!
The next morning we set off for the Lake Birrabeen in the south and on the way saw a vehicle had tipped onto its side along one of the more scenic tracks. I rushed onto the scene ready to unleash my incredible St John's Ambulance First Aid skills, while Lizzie followed with the handycam hoping to earn 250 pounds from you've been framed. Luckily there was nobody inside but later we found a minivan stuck after its front wheel had become lodged over a tree root. We arrived and one Aussie guy asked in his local tone "You got a snatcher, mate?". "I'm sorry, I've no idea what you're talking about" I politely replied! Apparently it's a tow rope thing but someone had one and we came to the rescue and reversed him up under the watchful eye of his wife who kept reminding him "Told you we should've brought a bloody four wheel drive!". Like the seasoned pros we had become, we negotiated the hazard with ease.
Before reaching Lake Birrabeen we stopped of for a toilet stop and on strolling toward the
toilet I felt a firm hand on the back of my arm. It was Lizzie's reassuring self. "Ian, don't look now, just keep walking because there's a BIG F@$#*?G SNAKE!!!". Thanks Lizzie! Turned out to be a pretty venomous brown snake that she recognised later at Australia Zoo. I promptly wet myself then we went to relax and swim at Lake Birrabeen for an hour or so, before deciding we were ready to head back to the mainland!
Longest blog yet I think but I know a few of you haven't got much else to do on those miserable Monday mornings! So, sorry if the blogs are a bit longer than usual but it's turned into our own personal diary. Just count yourselves lucky that we're not printing Lizzie's Journal. That things longer than the bible.
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