Triumph and Disaster (in a single weekend)

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I guess one can never predict how things are going to go, this past few days has seen the best and worst of this entire trip so far, I've been on a serene high and then on an unbelievable low, one that was made worse by the fact that what went wrong was all down to some brainless decisions made by myself. When things go wrong and its not my fault then thats not so bad but when it was ill-conceived decisions made by me that cause things to go wrong then thats pretty devastating.

I was on a high after the Ayers Rock tour, it went so well, not only was the tour great but i had been extremely successful socially and got to know a lot of people, meeting people seems to have been my entire focus since i started travelling alone and the success experienced on this tour was a great thing. It was also an experience like no other and as i left Alice i felt great about how things had gone.

However when i got to Sydney i was staying in a hostel that is more like a hotel, its very clean and tidy and stuff but is hardly a great place to meet people. This was the first thing that got to me, secondly i was pretty tired (and probably didn't realise it). My actions after this are simply too embarrassing to talk about here, but lets say tht for 24 hours or so, i was at least 1000 miles away from Sydney, in a wet rainy place where i instantly knew that i had made a mistake. I had something of a crisis after this, i returned to Sydney but only afer some equally embarrassing questioning of what i should do (details: i really don't want to write them).

Back here i was in a total daze, believing that my own stupidity had ruined my trip cancelled out all the good that had come out of my jaunt to the red centre and was in total emotional pain as i believed that i should return home.

I really felt that returning home was what i had to do, as i was distraught as my own confidence to make appropriate decisions had taken something of a knock.

Even though things had seriously not gone my way, things have improved a bit for a number of reasons. Firstly i happened to run into Elaine last night (she was leaving the city the following day but found time to have a drink and a talk with me when she discovered how down and upset i was), secondly after Elaine went to her bed (she had to be up for 5am the next day) i was able to watch the final of the Australian open tennis on TV (my main man Roger Federer took the title which please me a lot) and now today i have received a couple of emails that have brought a smile to my face.

One of them is from Cal (mentioned in several previous journal entries) who sent me (and Elaine and Emily) some photos that he took of our skydiving exploits. The second is from Hiwet (who i met in Alice Springs) who said she is coming to Sydney on Wednesday and would like to meet with me. This is something to look forward to as Hiwet was a great person to meet and i am looking forward to seeing her again.

The last few days have been extremely rough for me but there is a chance that i am coming through the storm (fanous last words maybe?).

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[Antarctic Monkey]

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