A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken

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G'Day Everyone!!

Firstly, apologies for the delay in this email. I'd like to say I've been really busy seeing the country but that would be a lie. Nothing but PURE relaxation for me since you heard from me last.

So it's a month tomorrow since I arrived. Still enjoying it, but time to get a job! Booking my RSA (Responsible Service of Alcohol) and my RCG (Responsible Conduct of Gambling) courses today, hopefully get them done this week. It'll be a couple of hundred dollars but I won't be able to work in Licensed Premises (bar, restaurant or liquor store etc) without it. The gambling thing comes from the fact that EVERY bar you go into has there own games room. Not Casino style but a bunch of puggy/fruit machines. Gambling is MASSIVE here. Not that I'm at all interested in gambling at all. Although, the Melbourne Cup is coming up this week... essentially the Grand National for Aussies. But get this, schools, work, offices, you name it STOP for this day at the races. Bars, restaurants and clubs are all fighting for business on Melbourne cup day, all advertising various drinks offers, champagne breakfasts, buffets, group room hire bla bla bla. Should be an interesting day to be in Oz... or a pub!

Since chatting to you last I've been doing more wandering of Sydney (it's huge, i'm always discovering more nooks and crannies). The Royal Botanical Gardens behind the Opera House are vast and beautiful. It wasn't the warmest day when I went but I'm sure on a nice day it would be packed with locals barbecuing, office workers 'meeting', school kids skiving etc. I'll maybe make my way up that way next time the sun's out. There's lots of weird and wonderful looking birds, bats (yes, bats, huge bats, not cricket bats, BATS, I've attached a photo to prove it). I learnt that these bats are in the process of being moved from the gardens as they're destroying endangered plant life. The larger of tree's in the gardens had shiny plastic sheets wrapped around the bottom, upon further investigation I found out it stops Koala's climbing the trees! This not only made me laugh (the sight of one of those lazy, but cute oafs slipping down a tree) but also kept my head fixated on branches high up to see if I could spot one.... sorry everyone, no Koala's yet.

That evening, Vicky had her friend Kim visiting from Newcastle, 2 hours north of Sydney, and I had arranged to meet Pete, a guy I'd worked with at North Bridge Brasserie at The Scotsman Hotel. Pete was going to meet us three at the launch of a bar his friend was opening that night, absolutely ideal methinks seen as I could network a bit and get a few contacts. We eventually find "the Mac Bar and Funk Venue" (sounds good!) and discover, before Pete had arrived that it was a guestlist / invite only affair. Oh great, I ring Pete and he's not going to get here for another hour so we grab a beer and grab a seat outside. We have a bit of a giggle at how unsociable the Australians/Sydneyites have been towards me in my first two weeks of being here. A couple of older chaps joined in the laughter at this stage, invited us over to sit with them and turned out to be very nice fellas (i even took there photo to remember them). Full of character, wit, charm, very dry humour (which I always enjoy), i asked where they were from... their answer? New Zealand.

A few lager's later we grab a bottle of wine and head home to chat with Vicky's pal Kim. This soon turns into Daph, Vicky and Kim reminiscing about growing up and all the rest. I retire to bed...

Later that week I manage to get off my arse and go to the Australian Maritime Museum, Dad and Pap, you would have loved this. It turns out it's free to enter the museum, but they have three tours you can pay for as an extra. These tours included HMAS Vampire (i sent you all a photo of this), HMAS Onslow (an Oberon Class Submarine - VERY COOL!), and an 1874 merchant ship called James Craig (interesting story behind this, although my tour guide said she was built in Glasgow?! http://pandora.nla.gov.au/pan/10574/20020607-0000/www.seaheritage.asn.au/jamescraig/indexf60b.html?fuseaction=IMP_AUSTRALIA).

The museum itself is probably the best I've been to in a while, my visit was 'made' by an ex-navy volunteer guide called Peter (i think? For the sake of the story he's now called Peter). I just started wandering about and he was walking a group around, I latched on and had a ball! Tour starts with the early settlement of "New Holland" (later to become Australia once the Brits found it after the Dutch) and this guy's knowledge was incredible, and a true storyteller, not the mundane toned bookworm you tend to get in these environments. By the time we were halfway round the museum the group had fallen from about twenty people to Peter, maybe two others and myself, which made it all the more enjoyable. He went on to tell us about circumnavigating the sea, battles the Aussie navy were in, the Queen's visits and loads of stuff we wouldn't have heard about should we be walking around ourselves. I finish the Museum and make my way onto the ships outside. HMAS Vampire was pretty cool, the biggest of the ships, and my first upclose look at such a warship, even if it was from the 50s. I then cross over the other side of the Vampire to board HMAS Onslow. I'm told by the ticket guy that they only let 50 people on the submarine at any given time for those that may be claustrophobic (the submarine itself could only house 80 men). I'm not a fan of enclosed spaces but I wasn't missing this... I make my way down the tiniest shaft (even for me, I don't know what our yank neighbours do at these moments) and true enough I'm in a submarine surrounded by missiles the length of a Ford Focus and the radius of one of it's wheels. The guide in the Submarine isn't quite so charismatic as Peter was, in fact quite mind-numbingly boring, which is a shame. I ask him a question about evacuating the vessel or something and this young lad and his dad add to my query. I clock the accent and can't help but ask where they're from.. Glasgow! Moving through the tiny corridors of Onslow I'm met with a familiar face, the guide Peter has come to relieve Professor Boredom to go on his break. Needless to say the rest of the tour was priceless, he told us how the 1969 submarine would charge the equivalent of 5000 car batteries on board by running a diesel engine, the fumes from which could be held and "chimney-ed" out once safe to surface. Following this we learnt the sad story of young lad who died in an exhaust accident in the late 90's (HMAS Onslow was decommissioned in 1999). Those interested can find a virtual tour of Onslow and Vampire at http://www.navy.gov.au/vf/vf.html

Needless to say Peter got a wee tip to thank him for my efforts, I then learn his daughter is married and living with her own family in none other than Edinburgh. I make my way to the tall ship James Craig and come across "The Welcome Wall". Thinking it's some other touristy rubbish I investigate closer and discover it's a carefully researched, compiled and ongoing list of over 6 million immigrants to Australia since records began. Rather than search through the rather randomly listed wall itself, I search a database for Mallett, Gauld, Bitchenor etc only to find 0 results for any of our families names. Maybe I'll become a citizen and be the first Mallett to migrate to Oz haha! The wall is pretty impressive (more info http://www.anmm.gov.au/site/page.cfm?u=1253) at 100 metres long and made entirely of bronze, it stand where over a million settlers first stepped onto Aussie soil. Photo's attached.

That afternoon, after a solid 4+ hours at the Maritime Museum, I fancy a beer and a pre arranged rendezvous with one of my old manager's from the brasserie, Timo Bures is up next.

Lanky German dry-humored good guy Timo started at the Scotsman Hotel on reception and then decided he'd join Food and Beverage (fool!) before falling head over heels in love with an Aussie chef called Sheridan. Timo and Sheridan still happily reside at near Coogie Beach, Sydney and Timo is now pretty much 2nd in command of The Observatory Hotel near Sydney Harbour Bridge, where I meet him...

Towering above me he show's me around a bit, then tells me what a shitty day he's had and how if I wait 5 minutes he'll be straight out, de-suited, and will take me to his local. Timo surfaces with a girl called Steph before Timo legs it back into his hotel having left his phone. Steph, being typically aussie it seems is a bit thrown by being left with a complete stranger... this made me laugh a fair bit (in my head) as she struggled to keep a conversation going. Hahahah! Like my own little dig at the ruder of people I've met since flying in.

Steph welcomes me to the pub, only to find my friend Lou sitting outside skiving off his job on this, a particularly hot afternoon! We have a good giggle and try some of the beers, made on-site, in this, apparently one of Sydney's favourite bars. It is lovely, and a wee cheese-ploughmans plate to share ordered by Timo got me addicted to Pumpkin bread. Washed down with some very tasty ales, I was now very happy to be in Sydney amongst good company.

Timo was always a very goo host and he takes Vicky, Steph and myself around a few pubs telling me poor Sheridan is no longer cheffing but is snowed-under studying and working as a teacher. We head to The Australian Hotel near the harbour bridge, and I'm nearly tempted to order crocodile pizza, or kangaroo pizza, maybe ostrich? (I've had Ostrich before... pretty good). Timo then tells me croc and kangaroo meets are merely for tourists in sydney, unless you hit the wilderness don't touch it. So I stick to reliable chorizo

Now, bareing in mind it was about 4pm I met Timo at his work, it's now about 8pm and those home-brews are beginning to take effect. Timo and Steph take us to a pub called The Local. This pub specialises in world beers. Aussie beers can be a bit samey, and obviously served VERY cold, so when I spot Belgium's finest Leffe on tap I jump at the chance, and order, much to Timo's dismay. I simply argue the fact that, where else in Australia might I see this beer again?? In Europe it's everywhere but to ship it this far without going manky must cost an absolute fortune, so I'm appreciating (and toasting!) some wise individual's efforts of bringing the world's finest to the land of Fosters...

Gary at this stage decides it's a fantastic idea to turn his camera on, leave it on the bar and set the timer to take a photo of all of us enjoying ourselves. As if in slow motion, the camera falls to the floor and with barely a step the giant that is Timo reached out his arms like a 20ft fishing net and catches the camera before disaster struck. Phew! This story is made all the more funnier by the fact that he caught the camera facing up, and a perfectly timed FLASH takes possibly the funniest photo of Timo I can remember! Attached for your approval, and already on Facebook.

A quiet Saturday spent lounging followed. Sunday evening Vicky and myself are off to see one of my favourite bands. New Zealand's finest, Fat Freddy's Drop. I saw them years ago in Edinburgh when they first broke into the UK turning heads left right and centre, they're now touring with their second album and I wasn't missing seeing these guys a little closer to their home shores. Sure enough the gig was a total sell out with many trying their luck at the door. They delivered what I wanted AND SOME. Whereas a live gig for such a band would normally last about 3 hours, these guys had such a showcase it went on for closer to 4 hours! Quality, long, dubbed out reggae rumbled through Sydney that night, and it rocked!! Here's some footage a fellow FFD fan filmed on the night, skanga...

On our drive home from the gig I experienced something that opened my eyes a bit. The Police here setup, in random places, at random times, a roadblock and breathalyse randomly picked vehicles. Our cab driver was fine of course but I asked him if he get's stopped often. His answer was of course, yes. The police here are so preventative compared to ours. I saw one guy get ejected from a bar we were in the other day and his mates followed to try and negotiate his return. The door staff weren't having any of it and before you know it 4, yes 4 police cars and about 10 cops were dealing with only about 4 people just in case something was to happen. I doubt the UK has the resources to pull this off but it's certainly a contrast to the UK, and such a presence on the streets would put off any troublemakers anyway. The same with the drink and drive checks.... why would you take the risk of doing it when there's such a high chance you'll be stopped and jailed? Food for thought...

In a rather bold move, Vicky's half sister Catherine has driven across Australia from her home in Alice Springs in the Northern Territory (look at it on Google Maps, that's some distance). Catherine is a TV journalist who's got a contract in Sydney and has moved with her 3 sons for the duration of her 9 month contract, the youngest, 3 year old Casey was supposed to be looked after by yours truly today but that's fell through for some reason? They're all very nice, and in a rather off the cuff decision, Vicky and I will be spending Christmas in Alice Springs for a bit of an uber-Australian festive season! I can't believe it's nearly November and Summer's on it's way in here. Barbecuing on Christmas Day will certainly make a bit of a change from Turkey and snow in Aboyne!! Flights and a hotel are booked at a pretty cheap rate (Alice Springs is so desolate i guess no one would think of spending Chrimbo there). It's apparently the first time in years that Vicky's Dad's side of the family has got together for Christmas so I guess the family element will still be present and should be enjoyable. It's also an excuse to visit Uluru (formerly Ayer's Rock) while I'm up there as it's only a 5 hour drive! Cannae wait.

Not much else to report from the Southern Hemisphere. Job wise, ideally I have a very strong urge to get a job in a bar again. A nice, upmarket venue as opposed to some pub or greasy spoon cafe. Vicky's not at all happy about it so some negotiations are required there. We have spoken about working in a bottle shop (off licence, they're everywhere - they even have drive-through bottle shops haha! Surely that's promoting the wrong attitude to driving under the influence?!). The hours wouldn't be any later than 10pm ish so would be a little more social, pay should be good because you're serving alcohol (a respected trade here unlike the UK), my only worry is that I'll be incredibly bored and won't be taking my career anywhere while I'm here so we'll have to see. CV's updated and ready to go.... wish me luck... no job, no staying! Until next time everyone...

Gary M
xxx

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Photos

Camera drop!
Timo's best photo!

Fat Freddy's Drop
Awesome...