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Published: February 20th 2010
Thank goodness for the emergency services that is all that I can say. I really do not think that the essential life saving role that they play in our lives is properly recognised and one in particular is seriously overlooked - the Hairdresser.
I entered Australia barely able to see my way off the plane with my fringe sweeping in straggles across my eyes. My roots thudded across the immigration floor. Split ends entangled themselves in the luggage carousel.
2 days later I knew that murder would be committed very soon unless something was done. The hairdressers of Byron Bay are expensive and they required detailed explanations of what I wanted plus there was no room for an appointment for at least a day. I don’t have time, money or energy for any of them. I am growing desperate. Then I walked into one - stylish and cool.
“How much...”I gasped.
“For a cut and colour?“
“Yes!”
She told me.
“I can do you now if you like?”
Yes! Yes! Yes!
She then told me what colour she was going to do based on what was already in my hair and the
cut she thought I should have based on my travelling requirements. She patted me on the shoulder as I wept my regrets at not having brought my hairdresser from home with me on my travels and promised she wouldn’t do anything that would make said hairdresser cross with me when I got back. I sighed and sat back. 2 hours later I walked out - no roots, no fringe in eyes, no split ends, a lovely caramel head of sweetly cut hair - the world is safe again! God bless Hairdressers!
Later Tim burst into the room we had at the YHA - he had just had a 3 hour Advanced surfing lesson and had had such a fantastic time that I am swept away by his enthusiasm and have booked a lesson for myself - Beginners of course. As the day has worn on I have grown a little more silent over the prospect. What have I let myself in for? I don’t like the sea that much and the hairdresser today told me that there are more sharks in the sea around Byron Bay than people realise and also that they are swimming more closely to us
than we realise - probably in ever decreasing circles.
I hate the fact that I get enthusiastic and jump into things that seem a good idea at the time - but I have paid the deposit and am not going to back down now. No sirree. Bloody hell... I bet I won’t sleep tonight.
I don’t want to talk about it.
Ok joking aside I do not think that surfing comes naturally to me but even so it was fantastic fun giving it a jolly good go. Firstly we worked with our surf boards on the beach - the safe sand. Not too much of a problem there. I could do the KNEE, FOOT, FOOT STAND thing fine. Then we had to tie our surf boards to an ankle, preferably one of our own and walk out into the sea. With waves. And sharks. And stuff.
First go I managed KNEE. Second go got good at KNEE. After KNEE I did FALL. I did FALL a lot. All the other beginners were doing STAND and SURF while I concentrated on FALL. After over two hours of this I finally did KNEE, FOOT, FOOT, STAND and oh
my goodness, oh amazing awesome feeling I was doing SURF. After a fair distance of SURF I did FALL but still I did it!! As I emerged from the water spluttering and grinning I could hear the rest of the class screaming and applauding and jumping up and down clapping and in the distance I could hear Tim shouting praise and whooping. I DID IT! I do not know how many tumbles into the sea I made or how many times my eyes stung. I do not know how many sharks circled or how often I bashed my arm or knee or head but I SURFED.
In the days when I was a Surf Babe rather than a Bro Tim was out on the waves while I sat on the beach admiring him - as a true babe should do. Magically leaping and surfing the waves along side Tim and the other surfers appeared a school of dolphins. So close that it seemed Tim only had to reach out his hand to touch them! I was overawed by the moment - imagine how he must have felt.
Our flight to Australia was delayed by a couple of hours
so it was almost midnight when we arrived in central Sydney to the truly horrid hostel. Although if you smoke a great deal, are young and thoughtless, don’t wash, have very smelly socks and talk loudly then this is truly the place for you. Contact me for details.
The next morning we booked out of it and into the YHA near the railway station. Having visited Australia before and having not originally intended on staying - but flights worked out we needed to so we decided to make 10 days of it - our plan was to find somewhere “chill” and chill - hence Byron Bay which is just about 170km south of Brisbane and not on the Sunshine Coast.
We went by train. What a wonderful way to travel in Australia. The trains are really comfortable and clean! There are buffet cars and the seats allow you to sit in them without their falling apart. The train meanders through the countryside stopping at a variety of rural train stations with unpronounceable names.
Australian trains run exactly and precisely to time by the absolute minute. So do the buses. So do the ferries. It is marvellous. It
is scarey. It is so organised.
The countryside was splendid. Very green and filled with hills and rivers and snatches of coast. It looked a bit like England but bigger. There had been a lot of rain and there continued to be a lot of rain while we were there. In fact the weekend we were in Byron Bay they had record levels of rain. People say that a great deal of Australia is desert but I find that hard to believe because every time I go there it rains.
“This rain is most unusual!” an Ozzie accent usually drawls nearby with one eye closed peering at the sky.
“Yeah right” I think to myself “Macho stuff! Bet it isn’t a desert out there - bet it is WETLANDS but you got confused when labelling the map!”
If we were going to be chill and hang out with the cool crowd in Byron Bay then I wanted to go to Nimbin. Snigger. Everyone always sniggers when you mention Nimbin. This is a sweet little town with a fixation on Ganga and I really liked it there. I saw a couple of houses I would like to
buy and also a car. But how do you get them all back to England?
Staying in hostels can be quite interesting and the set up at Byron Bay allowed us to observe the youngsters - people watching being a great hobby of mine. One or two stood out. Two guys from one of the southern states of USA in particular caught my eye or rather ear. One evening I heard the tall bland faced blonde one address the shorter blank faced darker one with the following:
“I’ve been thinkin’ about it and I reckon yaar not really a man.”
“Ah’m not a man? Why? “drawled his dark haired friend
“Well larst year when we was all jumping in that fast flowin’ creek yaar niver jumped. I reckon you woz scared!”
“Ah niver jumped not cause Ah was scar-ed. I niver jumped cos I didn’t want ta git wet.”
“Yeah?” His bonde friend was not convinced. “Well the sec-ond reason I don’t think you’re a real man is this. Yah member that naked chick? Well she was naked and you did NOTHIN’”
“Ah know Ah did nothin’. She may have bin naked but she was UGLEEEE!”
Blonde guy stared at his darker haired friend. After a silence he continued “And the third reason I don’t think yaar are a real man is cause when I wanted to go tandem sky diving yesterday yaar said no and I reckon it was cause you woz scared.”
The darker haired friend was silent for a long while then he said“Yeah, I was scared. I guess I aint much of a man.”
“Nah,” said his friend slowly “You ain’t much of a man at all.”
At the exact same time this conversation was going on there were a group of English boys behind me and this is what they were saying:
Boy 1: ‘ave you been ta Sidney ye’?
Boy 2: Yeah, las’ week. Man I got pissed there. It was unreal!
Boy 3: I was finkin’ of goin’ ta Brisbane nex’.
Boy 2: Yeah, I’ve bin there. Man I got pissed there.
Boy 4: Have any of you’s bin ta Cairns
Boy 2: Yeah I’ve bin there. Man I sure got freakin’ pissed there.
In amongst all of this two Swedes organised themselves efficiently cooking highly nutritious meals, washing and drying their clothes on a daily basis and maintaining their fitness levels with daily exercise consisting of some running, some swimming and a little Pilates. Sweet boys - their mothers should be proud. Sadly I can’t report on any of their conversations, but I can say that all the girls thought they were pretty hot! Which to be fair they were.
It was a most enjoyable 10 days - like a little holiday for us rather than the sense of travelling - which in some ways was just what we needed. But I find it hard to get to grips with Australia. I really do like it. A great place to have a holiday, but I never feel I get anywhere near getting under the skin of it. I am not always sure where the skin might be. Perhaps this is the type of place that you have to live in for a while, working and socialising, to begin to understand or see if there is anything more to it that sunshine and sport and beer.
Perhaps one day I will come back one day to see...
In the meantime Slopes Point and Nugget Point, Cosy Nook and Curio Bay were calling to us from across the seas - it is time to tackle New Zealand!
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anonymous
non-member comment
That car would have a very wide turning circle and possibly no power steering and definitely no climate control or a CD player and I'm pretty sure the roof doesn't come off without the aid of a saw. All in all that car does not scream 'Ingrid Bergman' to me it says 'I am a brightly coloured box on wheels' I'm thinking we create this look on an Audi TT, I just think you need something a little more stylish!