A Letter From America

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and I'm Alastair Cookie

Not that I would be so arrogant as to claim that title at all! This is just my many, but few, closing thoughts about the USA. Stuff I liked, stuff I hated, and the just plain weird. I'll probably keep adding to this, so check back often!

Stuff I like about America

• The food - everything here is richly flavoured and tasty. Okay, so that's the excessive fat and salt, but has that ever stopped me before?
  
• The views - go around a corner in any of the big cities (DC and NYC certainly) and you'll be assailed by ever more glorious architecture.
  
• The money - I saw the greatest van Gogh, Rousseau, Dali and Miro paintings ever yesterday. In one gallery. If there weren't so many rich philanthropists in this country, who knows where'd they'd be?
  
• The driving - driving is easy, drivers are courteous, navigating is easy and the cars have aircon. What's not to love?
  
• The TV - 4 hours straight of Law and Order. Oh yeah!
  
• The people - Americans are almost always polite and friendly, even in New York. Morning bus drivers not so much, but otherwise.
  
• Public Transport - surprisingly good in a country where everyone drives.
  
• Air Conditioning - there's something satisfying about being able to walk into any shop and know it's going to be inestimably more comfortable than outside!
  

Stuff I don't like about America

• The toilets - they're just weird and unsettling. Especially the ones that flush when you stand up.
  
• The security - Must I have my backpack scanned to go into an art museum? Really?
  
• The money - it's boring. It's really boring. And what's with pennies?
  
• The Ads - so far all I've seen are ads for drugs and cars. That's it. Nothing else needs advertising.
  
• The consumerism - what could I possibly need a lifesize plush moose for? Anyone?
  
• Rules - 65 mph on the freeway is a guideline, but I must, repeat MUST, check my backpack at the museum and must, repeat MUST, stand on the right hand side of the escalator.
  
• Tipping - why wouldn't you just include a service charge and save us confused foreigners the hassle?
  
• The Cars - driving down the LA Freeway when there are 10 lanes of gridlocked traffic leads one to wonder why ever car only has one person in it. There are 50%!t(MISSING)oo many cars on LAs roads. The reason is, of course, that one can never be sure when your carpool buddy won't go postal on your ass.
  

Stuff that is weird in America

• Ped Xing - can't you write Pedestrian Crossing? And why is it that NY drivers think they have right of way across zebra crossings?
  
• Signage - there are some stupid things that are illegal in the USA. You can be fined $961 for violating an LA carpool lane and $350 for honking unneccessarily in NYC. Heh!
  
• Potato Chips - 3 lbs in a bag and the idea that they can have ripples seems novel.
  
• ATMs - everyone has one. Even the corner dairy and a vast number of them aren't provided by, or administered by, banks. Worrying.
  

It's a start. More to come......
Take care everyone,
Al

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Comments

[Ruth]

Escalators and bag searching
I hate to break it to you but bag scanning/searching goes on in all major art galleries in Europe too - I think not helped by the whole Mafia escapade in Florence etc etc. And escalators - in London you get shouted at if you don't stand on the right side too - people are angry and in a hurry do not get in their way!!! Looking forward to seeing you guys! Ruth

[Tom Leamy]

Weird
Americans are just weird! Enjoying the blog immensely - its like I'm there too. Anyway something has to break me out of the depression of losing to Jimmy twice in a row! He has inherited your hex on my dice! Keep enjoying that art. Cher (use your imagination Tom, Sue, Georgia and Rebecca