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Published: August 28th 2013
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Thankfully, the temperature cooled down significantly overnight and we were able to get a pretty good night’s sleep in that hot box. We were up and at it early and ready for food having skipped dinner the night before. On our way to breakfast, we saw the evidence of the elk that roam the valley. The evidence was in the lawn, on the sidewalks and nearly stuck to our shoes. Nearly.
Breakfast in the US is both amazing and a total scam in equal measure. Amazing in the sense that you get so many choices. Today, Jon had trout benedict. How’s that for a different choice? The scam part is the cost of it. You can easily drop $30 plus on breakfast for two. And basically, you’ve ultimately had some coffee, toast and an egg cooked one way or another. I shan’t rant for ages on this point.
Today we were heading to
Old Faithful - one of the sights we had been most excited to see. What we saw on the way there was even more spectacular than we could have imagined. We started with a walk around the Mammoth Hot Springs area to see the effects the
water has had on the shape and colour of the rocks and landscape. The Minerva Terrace was really beautiful. Looking at this just continued to remind us that we were standing in the caldera of one of the world’s greatest super volcanos. When this thing blows....
We hopped back in the car to start our journey through the park back south towards Old Faithful. On our way, we passed waterfalls, amazing vistas and a petrified tree before turning off the main road in Canyon Village to head to the
Yellowstone Grand Canyon North Rim drive. The first stop along the drive brought us to two hikes to the upper and lower falls. The lower falls may be the smaller of the two but the views from here were incredible.
As we drove further along the rim we stopped at viewpoints looking back up the canyon to the waterfalls. At
Inspiration Point, we walked out to the edge of the rim - or almost to the edge as the remainder of the platform had been closed down due to earthquake damage. Some lady traveling with children jumped the fence and did walk all the way to the ridge. Another
adult with them told her off for setting a bad example. Who are these people? What an idiot. Maybe we’re just chicken shit non-adrenaline junkies - we’re pretty much ok with that if it means we don’t plummet into a canyon head over feet, smash our skulls in, bleed out and then leave our children and friends with that as their last living memory of us. Just sayin.
We grabbed a quick take away lunch from the grocers - two delicious caesar salads and some Doritos. Turns out the US is now serving extra cheesy Doritos. The original cheese levels apparently are no longer enough for the battered and bruised American taste buds. Our more delicate and sensitive European tastebuds were assaulted by this level of cheesiness. This was a sad day as the classic Doritos are my go to comfort food homesickness staple. I can’t imagine sitting on the front step with Beth and Diana assessing the cheesiness level of each chip with this new and “improved” version. Sad.
Turns out Yellowstone is f’ing enormous and we still had a hell of a drive to get to the Old Faithful Inn. I was getting grumpy at this
point and on the verge of a sense of humour failure. When we did arrive and check in we went straight to the bar, bought two beers and perched ourselves on the terrace with a clear view of the geyser. Fantastic. We were with loads of other revelers waiting for the eruption. The best part was the toddler a few seats ahead of us dancing to his own personal disco while he waited and got increasingly excited for the big moment. A little odd was the clapping. Odd like when people clap for a pilot once a plane has landed safely. Why clap? I never understood this. We expect the plane to land safely. Well, most planes. I can think of a few airlines and one specifically where I’d probably kiss the pilot if he landed it safely. I digress. The crowd clapped when the geyser erupted. This was odd to us given the fact that Old Faithful has erupted about every 90 minutes for over a hundred years. Maybe we’re missing something here with this applause thing. We shall start applauding more often - when the elevator doors open after pushing the call button, when the waitress brings us
The Old Faithful Inn
It looks like a substantial structure but don't be fooled. Those walls are paper thin! our food after we’ve ordered it or when the toilet flushes when we press the handle... actually that last one may not be as big of an ironic gesture as one might think given recent episodes.
The other odd thing about this place and American teenagers specifically is the amount of cleavage and camel toes around. I know a teen likes to push the boundaries but getting your baps out and wearing shorts so tight that your beef curtains (Dad, if you don’t know what this is, go to Urban Dictionary - we are not discussing it) are visible on a holiday with your parents just seems off... Who do you think you’re going to pick up or impress at a family holiday resort probably a long way away from home all the while sharing a room with said parents. Though, the fact that said parents can sit there and say nothing to each other for hours makes it a little less surprising that neither of them said anything to you about your outfit... This was our entertainment during our very delicious dinner. Jon enjoyed the Pork Osso Bucco and I devoured the Bison Pot Roast.
It had been a big day so we grabbed our tooth brushes, headed to our respective his and hers shared bathrooms and then... didn’t get any sleep. The super thin walls in this place were torture as our neighbours were up late drinking and talking about shite for hours. Literally hours. Once they did shut up and fall asleep, one of them started snoring - this was like sleeping next to a walrus with bronchitis, a hippo having a temper tantrum or Jon Mills. At this point Jon did have a sense of humour failure. The noise kept him awake. Being awake made him acutely aware of his mosquito bits. Being aware of those bites made him scratch. Bad. All of this was very bad.
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