For Better or For Worse...Mostly Better.

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I'm not physically in South Dakota today, but that's where all thought is leading me.

I'm feeling bad that I'm not in Howard right now. My family is all together, celebrating my parent's 50th Wedding Anniversary at St. Agatha Catholic Church. There is mass in their honor, followed by goodies and fellowship in the church hall. It just makes me sad knowing there are Scott shenanigans going on right now and I'm not there to be part of it. To make up for my absence and to make me feel better, I'm going to tell you about the big family party we had for Mom and Dad before we left.

Jeff and I rented our house in St. Peter for mid-July, but didn't leave for Sweden until August 4th. We thought the interim would be a great chance to be with family and friends before our year away, and that proved to be the case. We based camp out of my childhood home, the big white farmhouse where my parents still live. Mom and Dad are both retired (in theory!), but they manage to stay very busy. My siblings and I had been planning a surprise party for them for months, so I knew that 2 weeks at home with a secret - and my lack of poker face - would be a challenge. All of us "kids" had been sending e-mails and making plans for months, and the last two weeks were a flurry of more great ideas and strategic planning...and being at "home" made me somewhat of a point person. The problem with that is that Mom and Dad LIVE there. I was afraid the many calls would give the secret away.

The surprise was on Saturday, August 2nd. We had decided that we had to get an outside source involved to get Mom and Dad out of town on Friday, overnight, so we could prepare the house and really surprise them. Thanks to Dad's brother Ken, and his wife Judy, they were convinced that an anonymous person had booked treatments for them at the Ortmann Clinic in Canistota, along with a night at the inn (Canistota is Dad's hometown). Ken and Judy followed up with an invitation to lunch on Saturday. The issue with this plan is that I felt pretty strongly that Mom and Dad wouldn't want to leave the house on our last week-end in the States, so we had come up with a story that we were heading to Willmar, MN to meet up with some of Jeff's family for a final goodbye. We told Mom and Dad that we'd be back in Howard late Saturday afternoon. They fell for it. The hardest part for me, in the week prior, was that I could tell that Mom was really disappointed that none of my family wanted to get together with us for a going away dinner. I knew it was really bothering her, so we made up lots of stories about how were connecting with all of the siblings before we left. She accepted the explanations, but she wasn't happy about it. I felt the need for confession after all of my lies!

It's impossible for me to put into words the great fun and anticipation we all felt getting ready for this event. We were all working towards a common goal, honoring Mom and Dad. For the months and weeks leading up to the day, the ideas were flying...each one more fun than the next. We worked on a scrapbook, with each family member creating their own page. There was some hesitation on this "crafty" project in the beginning, but the results were so fun and funny - each one as unique as the person who created it. Each a work of art that we know Mom and Dad will treasure. We were also challenged to come up with a "thoughtful gift under $20" to be presented to Mom and Dad throughout the evening, with the explanation of why the gift is meaningful.


How DO you honor the people who've spent 50 years (plus 4 for the courtship) building a legacy of family, respect and love? Mom and Dad define commitment - and if you're in a relationship, you understand the work that entails. They've instilled in us a sense of family, service and community. We believed that the farm was the place we needed to gather, and we needed to keep it with "just" our immediate family...which was 35 people on that day. We settled on a great sit down dinner under a tent in the yard. ...with a few fun details.

We got the highly anticipated call that they had left Salem at about 1:30 pm, we had Dad's Case tractor hitched to the flatbed and were ready to load. It's not uncommon for our family to have a hayride...and we have pictures of these outings going back way into our childhoods. What better way to meet them than on hay rack full of family? So we set the adirondack chairs on the flatbed, hung the sign that said "Just Married...for 50 Years!" on the back, along with empty cans and streamers and we headed down the road. Our excitement level was off the charts...seriously, it's like we were all little kids waiting for Santa. Greg and Olivia got us to Highway 34 where we waited for their arrival. When we spotted their Buick, it was all we could do to keep from running out into the highway. They pulled over when they saw us, but they were truly speechless. At one point, Joanne, who made the cake, was across the road taking pictures...Suzi pointed and yelled, "look we've got paparazzi!". It was fitting that a fete like this would have paparazzi. We gave Mom a little bouquet, put a veil on her head and fitted Dad with a bow tie...then put the stool out so they could hop aboard. We did a short run through Howard on the flatbed, laughing and waving and enjoying the first success of our master plan. I have to wonder what people were thinking as we drove around town.

Dinner was planned for around 6:30 pm, with Happy Hour starting around 5:00. However, there was no stopping the party once we arrived back at the farm. We even had a hopper for the kids (thanks to Anne!). The entire day, there were no issues. The kids all played together without fighting, the adults even behaved and cooperated! The table was set...one huge table to seat 35. The tables were set with white linens and candles and the flowers that Mom and Dad had for their wedding...white roses and yellow gladiolas. We used Mom's china and real silverware...and served punch in the punch bowl from their wedding. The tent was draped in white twinkle lights and was set up in the back yard to take advantage of the setting sun. We had a gift table that was loaded with the fun gifts I mentioned earlier, including a beautiful large rock engraved simply and beautifully with "LOVE est. 1958". Suzi and Dan had been collecting photos from all of us (and Mom's closet of photos) for months and Suzi put together an incredible movie with the title "One Wonderful Life Together:Mary Lou & Loren" subtitled "Celebrating 50 Golden Years". There is special significance to movies, in Mom and Dad's story.

54+ years ago, a teen aged Mary Lou applied for a job at a local (Sioux Falls) movie theater. When her younger sister took the call for the interview, pretending to be Mom, she took the wrong message and sent Mom to the State Theater. While Mom thought it a bit strange because she hadn't applied at the State, but she showed up for an interview anyway and met the manager, Loren Scott. He apparently couldn't turn away the darling blond, and the rest, as they say, is history. The movie was a compilation of their entire lives (so far), set to music that each of us kids suggested. Songs that, in some way or another, reminded us of Mom and Dad. There's trivia from 1958, the MGM lion, and an incredible photo history of two people who have created a wonderful life together. At the end of the meal - which was incredible prime rib, perfectly prepared by Kari (Steve's wife), garlic rosemary mashed potatoes, homemade macaroni and cheese, a green salad with candied pecans, strawberries, honey goat cheese and poppy seed dressing, along with bowls of fresh berries - we all gathered under the tent, in the dark, and watched the movie on the big screen. I have no pictures of the movie hour, as we were all mesmerized and didn't even think to grab the camera. Suzi had decorated the gift table with old fashioned boxes of popcorn for everyone, along with take home copies of the movie and a CD compilation of all songs we had suggested...the covers have great black and white photos of Mom and Dad on their wedding day. Simply amazing.

One of the other great touches we had (again, Anne's idea) was the cake. Joanne made a replica of their wedding cake. When each of us kids were married, Mom had a cake top carved by a woodcarver named Arne Bortnum. Each cake top is unique to the couple being married, but they all have one common piece...interlocking rings carved from one piece of wood. When Anne called Arne, just a few weeks before the event, he enthusiastically agreed. He carved a "50" in a beautiful piece of wood and topped it with a cross and interlocking rings. It couldn't have been more perfect and complimented the gorgeous cake beautifully.

Throughout the meal, the gifts were shared. We also had great entertainment...aside from all the kids' antics. Julie sang a love song, "L - is for the the way you look at me...", Darla read a beautiful passage from the bible that coincided with the inscribed rock they gave as their gift. Tim did a hysterical skit that had us all in stitches and tears of laughter, and he and Julie sang an Elvis love song. It was a perfect evening...made even more perfect by the fact that we had hired 3 very capable, high school girls to help serve and clean up. We ended the evening with a gift to Mom and Dad - a travel voucher so they can do one of the things they love to do, but simply haven't had the time: travel together some place fun.

I hope you enjoy the pictures that I've added from that day...I sure have! Mom and Dad's actual anniversary is tomorrow, September 1st (along with sister Julie's birthday!).

So, as I said, I'm sad that I'm not there with my family today. However, my heart is full of great love and great memories. I'm so grateful that God saw fit to put me in this clan. Greg, Olivia, Julie, Ray, Jenneke, Brooklyn, Shea, Caleb, Bricelyn, Anne, Donna, Dalton, Dan, Suzi, Lily, Lauren, Tim, Darla, Kate, Joseph, Steve, Kari, Hannah, Noah, Krissy, Rob, Spencer, Sam, Jack (my special Tic Tac), Pete, Annie, Mom and Dad...I love you! Lucky, lucky me.

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Photos

Getting ready!
The prep was half the fun!

Hmmm...
Is the circus coming to town?

Heading to the Highway
We're all loaded and heading to greet Mom and Dad.

They're here!
Grandma & Grandpa getting some help.

Shot of the Day
The Bride and Groom enjoy a very public kiss! Bricelyn is oblivious.

Gift table
After 50 years, you deserve a few gifts!

Cake
Annie takes in the cake with Grandma & Grandpa

Good cake!
Lauren growled when someone asked for a bite of her cake!

Table for 35?
Coming up!

No pressure...
but isn't this fun, John?

Comments

[Gail M]

Happy Anniversary Mary Lou and Loren
What a great tribute to your Mom and Dad - their 50 years and your wonderful family. Although Jeff, you and and the kids aren't there today...your words capture love and joy you share with them!