PCT, abandon hope, ye~

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Day 8 this morning's reading's theme was 'abandon hope'. The belief behind such an idea is that only by giving up expectations, i.e., hope that we're, it, they're, will be better eventually can we not only become comfortable with the idea of groundlessness, but begin the begin of seeing and accepting where we're at at this moment.A mile into today's hike I heard a huge crashing, tumbling through the branches type of sound and saw a black blur cross the trail and scamper up the hill to my right. That's right, a black bear. About 40 yards in front of me. I thght, "cool, a bear", look how fearless I am!" a few moments later I realized that if said bear was stopped, growling and acting threateningly, I can be sure that "cool a bear!" would not have passed through my head. Ah, sweet ego, aleays there to remind me. Hiked four miles to a campground called little crater lake, got turned around, and wanted to quit, since there was a sign that read, 'HWY 26 six miles'. Ooooh, I could hitchhike and end my discomfort. It suddenly occurred to me that quitting is and always has been my first instinct. And perhaps a salient reason I am on the PCT is to learn how to persevere. "Hope and fear come from feeling that we lack something; they come from a sense of pverty. We can't simply relax with ourselves. We hold on to hope, and hope robs us of the present moment. We feel that someone else knows what's going on, but that there's something missing in us, and therefore aomething is lacking in the world.Rather than letting our negativity get the better of us, we could acknowledge that right now we feel lime a piece of shit and not be squeamish about taking a good look. That's the compassionate thing to do. We cold smell that piece of shit. Ee could feel it; what is its texture, color, and shape?We can explore the nature of that piece of shit. We can know the nature of dislike, shame, and embarrassment and not believe there's something wrong with that. We can drop the fundamental hope that there is a better "me" who willone dayemerge. We can't just jump over ourselves as if we were not there. It's better to take a straight look at all our hopes and fears. Then some kind of confidence in our basic sanity arises."Pema ChodronSitting in front of Timothy lake, absolutelybeautiful.

Day 9 a (very) long 14 mile day. Made my goal of Warm Springs. When one is physically exhausted, one's sense of distance is tragically altered.

Day 10 Today saw me making my goal of reaching Limit Meadows, a water source ten miles from Warm Springs. Not a far distance, but a serious gain in elevation. Really liked this camping spot, very peaceful and serene. Tomorrow I have ten miles to reach Olallie Lake, where there is a small store. I am hoping to catch a ride 47 miles south to Sisters-I thought I could resupply at the store at Olallie, but cannot, and won't have anywhere enough food to last the four day trek to Sisters.

Day 11 hiked ten miles to Ollallie Lake, to be informes the trail is closed due to fires. So started putting out good energy that something would work out.....a reakly nice guy from Bend was heading home and agreed to drop me in Sisters, where I could pick up my second food package, and plot further travels......

So far have hiked 82 miles~

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Comments

[Johnny "T"]

Spider sweat
Read your blog today, glad you are still kicking stones. Sent you as many harassing text messages as I could stomach, hope someday you'll get them. I noticed that when you write, you mostly use the pronoun "we," "us" and "ourselves" instead of "I," "me" and "myself." Do you have a traveling buddy? Mouse in your pocket? Turd in your hand? Crocodiles strapped to your feet? Are you speaking for me, at me, around me? I read that book "Wild." I'm guessing that the PCT is NOT picnic-ish like they had on Sundays on Little House on the Prairie. How are your feet holding up? I sent some band-aids, mole skin and new socks. Not sure if you got the package but I am sure that I sent it. Keep on trucking brother, JT