Jake's Birthday

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Jake started off his 25th birthday the way he starts most days - with a fart so loud it wakes himself up. After going outside to check the weather in just his boxers, we all gathered in bed, as we did as children, and opened cards from family members. Mum also called to wish Jake many happy returns as well as advising him to stay sober, more out of hope than expectation.

Each morning upon leaving I thank God that we are only staying in each hotel for just a night. After two nights the state of them would be too much to cope with. It's not just the empty water bottles, crumpled sheets and occasional crumbs that cause the disgust, but instead the state of the bathroom. The main issue, as it so often is with hygiene, is Jake who sees the loo bowl as general guidance rather than a target. You can blame the wet floor on the shower only so long until puddles appear before anyone has even had a chance to wash. We have even resorted to having a towel for Jake's spills in each hotel we go to. I feel so sorry for the maids. No wage is worth clearing up his piss-soaked towels.


As chance would have it we ended up in Tulsa, Oklahoma for Jake's birthday. We decided to get a nice room (soon to be destroyed) in the centre of town to allow for a short stumble back towards the hotel for Sam and Jake. After a lovely Thai and sushi dinner (classic American cuisine) no stumble was really needed. Instead we purchased some Belgian beer and local whiskey and headed back for an early night. It's not the first time Jake has slept sprawled, face-down on his birthday but it is perhaps the first time he has done so before 10pm.

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