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Published: October 13th 2011
Travel does not embody this blog entry, although in some contorted sense travel is what enticed the lessons learnt below. I write this for You.
You taught me to be in love. You changed for me who I was and what I wanted, you shaped the person I am today. Your sense of wonder was contagious.You made me realize that I can choose a different life and you helped me to do so. I miss you less now than I did then, but know you served your time in my life. As a good writer once said, “miss him, send him light and love and move on.” I do this to you daily.
You never judge. You get me. When I need a friend you are there. I dream about drinking wine and being old together while we talk about the crazy life we lived. I thank God you are in my life for life.
We weren’t always close although Mother Nature put us together. I can tell you anything; at times I think you fear this. In my darkest moments you listened with no words but I knew you hurt for me. When I get a phone call home – you are whom I call. Most of my drunken dials are to you and I know you like it. I have learned your way of loving and have grown to appreciate it.
We have had our moments as this relationship always does. Though as distant as we once were, no mileage matters. You are the person I think of when I need someone. You are the person who loves me unconditionally and to the end. I cherish the moments we are together and do nothing but sit and chat. You have pulled me through the hard times and smiled me through the good ones. You are someone I hope to never ever be without.
You were a new friend to me. Someone I could be free with; someone to live on the edge with. This opened my eyes and made me grow from a girl to a woman. You made me embrace my sexuality and marvel in the fact that I am a beautiful woman inside and out. You taught me to be driven and to be happy. We have our distance as our relationship will never be emotionally close but I will forever remember you taking me from a caterpillar to a butterfly 😉
We have a big age difference yet I consider you one of my best friends. You loved me like a second mother and I loved you like a daughter. You made me realize no matter the age, two friends can share an amazing exchange.
You taught me about friendship. I didn’t learn this through your good virtues; I learned it through your bad. Although most of my fondness memories date back to you and I do miss you terribly – I am happier without you. You made me learn the hard way how to love a friend unconditionally. You showed me what I treasure and made me realize I am a different person than you. We do not speak today but I always want you to be happy. I hope one day you will look back and wish things went differently as I do so frequently.
At the moment you excite me. Your stories and aura stimulate my mind. YOU'RE the first person since him that gives me that feeling. You came as a shock and as an off limits rule. But the rule didn’t stand a chance. I try not to care but deep down do. I look forward to my stolen messages and secret get-a-way’s but know we are both in our own spots. Timing is everything and you are at seven while I am at noon. I don’t know your purpose or timeline but revel in your feeling.
You are a couple. You believe in me and I in you. We have dreams and fantasies and our lives somehow always seem to mirror each other at the right times. I look forward to our nights of wine and chitchat but appreciate our times of distance and quick email updates. I hope we live close one day. You taught me to say Good morning in a happy tone and I honestly think about you every sunrise due to this lesson. We have had our moments owed to stressful work environments but our real relationship exists on land. Your honeymoon phase has never ended and it gives me hope that love like yours exists.
From hand written letters to emails to roommates – we have done it all. At times I hold back from telling you all my truths out of fear of judgment but when I need you most you tend to shock me with the best advice and most love. I can’t imagine my last few years without you and look forward to our future together. My children will call you aunt as I hope yours will to me. You are my second sister.
Our age gap has caused us riff. I need and want for you more but our mileage and timing is off. I remember when you were little and I have so many emotional stories I have never told you. We were young; but one day I will share. I think you are beautiful and smart. I look forward to seeing you blossom into the woman you will be and I know it will be an amazing one. I hope for you to live more. I mean this in a way of just simply exploring who you are but it comes with time. We will live on the same street one-day and our relationship will continue to evolve as you needed me then and I will need you now.
I can’t imagine my life without You.
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