New York pt. 2 - Catcher in the NY...


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North America » United States » New York » New York » Bronx
July 4th 2010
Published: September 18th 2010
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Reaching first baseReaching first baseReaching first base

Means something else in America I think
Sunday, July 4th
Happy 'beating the British in the only war they ever lost' day America. Not much more American to do than to head to the baseball we reckon. And due to the huge flood of tickets on the internet the Yankees is as American in tradition and shameless corporatism as it comes. With seats about the same price as a beer we'd be foolish not to!

We caught the subway up to the Bronx, getting out directly in front of the Yankees' six month old stadium. It's an absolute commercial haven; everything you can think of with a Yankees logo you can buy. Placemats, plastic cups used to put ice-cream in, sex toys. If there is a buyer, there is a seller. A single beer costs 10 dollars!!! And Americans have it watered down with their 3%!l(MISSING)ow carb, no sugar mentality. Oh, and a side order of 8 burgers (with Yankee logos).

Our seats up in the gods allowed us a view of the entire packed out stadium. The crowds are okay, it's inevitable to compare it to back home and conclude the crowd is made of marble but in a 3 hour game with maybe 20 minutes of real action it's justifiable. Plus all Americans have ADHD from the prozac they all pop and the buckets of coffee.

The first 3 innings sped by leaving us thinking the game would be over within the hour. At 600ft from the homeplate we were surprised to see a warning to "beware of bats and balls". One bat did make it into the second tier miraculously without any blood or teeth embedded into it. The score changed hands several times at 3-1 to Yanks, then 4-3 Blue Jays and back to 6-5 Yanks. Still an organ rang out every two minutes like a surgeon's beeper to keep the "fans" interested. There was a race, numerous competitions, seat upgrades and the YMCA. Why not just put a Ritallin in the cokes?

The Yankess won 7-6 in tenth inning overtime with pinch hitter Thames at 3 balls, 2 strikes and 2 outs. Tense. It was disappointing how bad Alex Rodriguez and Derek Jeter were, you always want the stars to shine, but good fun. I love baseball, Hayley enjoyed popping her cherry.

For dinner Mike whipped up an immense barbecue on the roof terrace complete with Amy's homemade salsa and guacamole. We are getting spoilt.

After the feast we went to watch the obligatory fireworks display over the Hudson River. Lots of people were gathered, of all shapes and sizes. The display went to new levels we'd never seen - smiley faces, cubes and planets with rings around put the kids up the park with their bangers to shame. I stifled my laughter at the commentary behind him:
"Take it home. Take it home"
"Get in there dawg"
"2001 - A Space Odyssey"
My friend you are talking to fireworks. But look rough so I won't say anything.

A couple of drinks in SushiSamba with an arsey waittress because we didn't get food topped off the day.

Monday, 5th July
Just because it's Western doesn't mean the US doesn't have culture. It's because the rest of the World doesn't exist to most of its inhabitants. Still, the Met has its fair share of artefacts lifted from civilisations that existed whilst the great grandfathers of those who founded America were still little sperms bumping into each other in an overcrowded ball sack.

The Met is huge, you could spend an entire week there with sufficient interest. Just a day was more than enough to satisfy both of our thirsts for old stuff. The ground floor of the building had a large Egyptian collection; intricate statues, sarcophagi and intelligent tools made the bulk of what we saw. Just out of interest on the sarcophagi thing, how old does something have to be dead before it's acceptable for people to go pay and see it? Isn't the point of burial to leave the dead in the ground? Add a bit of gold to the process and it becomes a money-spinner. Recommended donation - $25.

After being bored sh*tless by some period pieces we headed upstairs for the arty stuff. The Modern art as always raises its questions about what art actually is since most of it looks like it was made by someone braindead. That is, until you see Dali and Tunquy and the anger dissipates a bit. Seriously though, when did the art community gain enough credit to just stop trying and bullsh*t their fit-for-trash cr*p into the houses of the rich? On the plus side the Picasso collection was amazing in number and quality.

A list of the benefactors adorned the walls
"Beware of bats and balls""Beware of bats and balls""Beware of bats and balls"

600ft from the plate...
on our exit. Why the hell do we have to pay so much with such generous souls? And they get their name up?

With the afternoon the Central Park Zoo. Which I mistook for the Bronx Zoo. No cast of Madagascar here. Snow leopards though. It's so hot that the holidaying crowd centred in the penguin enclosure. With the rest of the day we hit 5th Avenue on a mini camera tour checking out the overpriced shops, staring in disbelief at the queue outside Abercrombie and Fitch, before hitting Trump Towers, St. Thomas' Church, St. Paul's Cathedral and the Waldorf Astoria before reaching the sanctuary of the air-conditioned subway.

For dinner some New York slices at a place with a picture of Shia LeBoeuf and some other celebrities we don't know by name (but obviously less famous than Shia). They didn't come in tonight.


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